we were like strangers who knew each other very well, meeting for the first time in a fleeting moment. our bodies foreign to each other’s touch, all passing glances and timid hands, but it could never last too long. someone always had to go, someone always had to return home, and there was never enough time. we’d become strangers again, dreaming of good morning i love yous spoken in tongue, written between skin, read between limbs. and slowly memory would fade, skin on skin fall faint, until all remnants of our existence withered away.


― until we meet again

tell me again the story about the sun and the moon,
how they were separated by night and day,
by time and space,
tell me again how they fell in love,
and crossed the sea of stars to be

together.

— tell me again our story

ill never forget that night.
we were laying in bed,
eyes closed and half asleep,
teetering on the fence between
the world of wake
and the world of dream.

we’d been quiet for awhile now,
understandable in this hour of the night.
the room was lowly lit
by the dim glow of light
cast off computer screens,
and the air was filled
with white static sound
and your soft rhythmic breathing.

eyes closed,
i could swear you were beside me,
half convinced by the hum
of the speakers softly snoring
that i’d roll over to your body,
even though i knew
you were far away from me,
sleeping alone across the sea.
but it was something i could believe,
nearly there,
slipped into sleep.

and suddenly
you split the silence,
waking yourself up,
you called out my name with urgent pace
and i mumbled a reply
as you pulled me awake.

you spoke again,
and the words spilled from your tongue like nectar
and dripped from your lips like honey,
said with such haste
like you couldn’t get the words into the world fast enough,
as though holding it in any longer
would bring down the world burning.

it was then in that night,
one of many moments yet i’d find,
that i knew i was going to love you forever,
and
no matter of land or sea,
of sun, stars, or skies between,
could ever change that,
or keep you away from me.


―  “i love you more than anyone or anything i have ever loved or ever will,” 12:37 am, 10.08.17, what you said to me.

an open window,
the smell of night's cool breeze,
static from an open laptop,
the sound of you sleeping next to me.


― subtle moments of bliss

tonight,
i am lonely.
tomorrow,
i will wake the same.
wrapped in sheets instead of arms,
in a bed absent of affection,
far from the only love i know.


— tonight i am lonely

The overcast skies reveal a cluster of cumulonimbus clouds,
a day so dreary and dark that it conjures the idea of fleeing
-- escaping into mindless memories of better times,
sitting in the grass field next to the Markthal in Rotterdam,
opening another bottle of soju in a murky downstairs Seoul bar,
a bar where more than once her feet had buckled under the weight
of one too many drinks, stairs lopsided and wobbly as her steps,
getting stuck in traffic on the way back to the airport of Kuala Lumpur,
tears on her cheeks streaked parallel lines, etched into her make-up
as if a part of her, dripping down into her lap where her fists
were balled up, clenched tight and shaking from the pressure,
visiting Singapore’s Supertree Grove in a one-day trip,
traveling back to Europe, now in Berlin, next day in Prague,
where the standout memory is one too many shots of Becherovka.
Back home it is ten degrees and rain is slowly drizzling down,
the streets are covered with a reflective surface, a mirror
she does not want in front of her, a confrontation she does not want
She left Carcassonne’s castle behind alone, retraces the steps
as if the outcome could still be changed, a mindless mind game
When the sky clears clear contrasts are formed
her escapism has escaped and she is like an esclave to her thoughts.
She travels through all her travels but no what ifs are left to be explored
Tomorrow the weather turns again and so will her memories,
an endless labyrinth she has not yet found an exit to.

You came to me asking ever so gently
If I needed any help while I was grilling

You gave me butterflies while you beamed
As your voice echoed in my ear

It was only just a day but we managed to click so well
As if our searching souls have long known each other

Days become weeks,
Weeks become months,

It's been more than a year and in Freo, we
Spent time together with our hearts in harmony

Do you still remember when we were playing 'Just Dance'
And you made me surprised by lifting me up, totally nonchalant?

Days become weeks,
Weeks become months,

I have always wished to caress your face,
As we stare at each other while we embrace

Without you, I feel as if half of my soul is gone
As you genuinely respect and value me as a woman, like none

Days become weeks,
Weeks become months,

Now we're taking a break and it's fine,
Because you're still in my heart and you always shine.

Your car turns the corner and flees my gaze
As I wipe the streams of agony from my face
Dreading the miles that disconnect our bodies
And leave our hearts to face the withdrawal
The waves of pain that split cracks through my soul
The pain of waking up to an empty bed
The pain of reaching for a hand that’s no longer there
Of clinging to my phone to await the ping of your next sonnet and the ring that calls me to your voice
Of longing that has surrounded my heart with iron bars of loneliness
Of the circumstantial separation that bursts my mind into roaring flames
But I still await the next time you pull into my driveway
I still smile as I count the days until I run into your arms once again
I acknowledge that this tormenting cycle will someday end
And we’ll no longer have to endure another painfully long goodbye.