As he drinks his whiskey neat,
He stares blankly at your seat.

Over and over pretending to
be meek, his eyes begged bellow.

Off to the races, what a confused
fellow. Time for the search party.

Who can blame him, try finding
someone who simply can't compete.

Like digging someone else's hole,
only it's beneath your feet.

Sure the fish are plenty, somehow
he feels the odds are steep.

Many times he wished it all
away, but those are his to keep.

-a.j.León

Can any one please tell me why I feel like I was put on this earth to be treated any kind of way by people,friends,family, and boyfriends in a (bad way) even doe I know God put me on this earth to do something great but do you know what I'm talking about or know how I feel? If not I'm glade you don't (it's not a great feeling) but this feeling and pain is killing me minute bye minute it's taking my breathe away, can you please tell why I feel like this please oh oh oh oh can you feel my pain? Ooooh yea I just want to run away but I don't know we're to but can you tell me how I still keep going,
Still love,
Still treat people right like how I want to be treated and
Still tell them to keep going
Even doe other people treated me wrong and they don't care about me or how I feel
How do I do it? Cause I don't even know but
I  got to shake it off and keep moving on no matter what even thru the pain and the hurt shake,shake,shake,shake it off i got to do what's best for me
Why why why why?
Ummmm please tell me my heart is crying out but no one even notices.

There is a tumour
Inside of me.
And what does it do?
It grows and grows
And keeps growing.

This tumour
Is loneliness.


-- Eleanor

stay loyal to the dreams of your youth
know where you stand and what is your truth

be who you are and watch what you do
for many will want to know what you knew

but you must let them live their own lives
learn for themselves when their chance arrives

remember : you never slow down, you never grow old
no matter what you are told or what future may hold

just want you to know and never forget
you are smart enough to do things you'll never regret.

don't worry 'bout future, don't live in the past,
'cos this life was never meant to last

therefore it makes much more sense
to live in the present tense... :)

Hell is known by everyone
Whether you believe in it or not
It's always a compare and contrast
And even though it's just a simple thought
The ideal is there
That if we do something terrible
Like ******, lie or sin in any way
That it leaves something memorable
Like a stain on white cloth
The sin clouds our mind
Consuming our thoughts and bodies
Until theres not much left to find
Except for devastation and agony
Like living isn't hard enough
Without thinking that every mistake
Requires more than just being tough
Where we have to be forgiven
By Grace, by God, and yet others still look down
On us for simple plunders
Like it was our choice to take the frown
It's not our fault we were blinded
It's not our fault that we couldn't think clearly
Can you blame us for being angry?
Everythings shouting at us so severely
Why aren't we better?
Why aren't we stronger?
Why aren't we smarter?
Why can't we just hold out longer?
Everyone thinks depression is so **** easy
"Oh, just think happier thoughts, it'll be fine!"
Tell that to a man so consumed with self loathing
That he'd rather sit alone and cry than dine
With those he loves. It's atrocious
How easily we all fall into the simple glove
That is how useless we are in the grand scheme of things
That we don't deserve love
Or anything at all, really.
And one day everyone we know will walk away
Show that they truly hate us and always have
And finally just ran out of reasons to stay
It pains me.
It pains me every single night
To sit here and think that maybe
I'll be worth more one day, and shed a light
To all those who are hurt or hurting
But how can I save someone
If I can't even save myself?
I'm afraid one day I'll be done.
Finished, over.
But. Even as these thoughts plague me
It's not over today. No way, no how
And I'll keep going, until one day, I see.

could you tell me everything
about your secret
that you've been buried
so deep in your mind

i want to make it lighter
i trust you -so you know-
i've told you for thousand times
can you open up?

let me be your safety place
your dearest diary
i will keep it secretly
just so you know

i want to release you from that chains
want to recover your wound
i know you confuse
so, please be honest with me

I been hurt
I been torn
I  see the darkness without the sun
My heart is kind
I hope and love
The ideas of today lost on forgotten  world of the past
I fallen on this path look up for love
My heart will keep going
I can't  give up
I have change myself with a mind so  complex
I need remove cancer out of my life

Life has given me many situations and different types circumstances
But the fact that I keep going through problems instead of making my way around them puzzles me
Why do I keep telling myself and others im fine when questioned
Even I know most of the time I'm just kidding myself as soon as I respond
Why do I keep trying to chase after a goal that seems impossible not just that also disappointing to me if accomplished
I can say its because I want whats best for me my family and others or maybe its what I allways dreamed of doing but even better its my goal in life or its what I've set out for
These are all just ways to cover up how we really feel about life and the things we want to accomplish
I'll tell you the truth on why I set out to accomplish things
I go through diversity just to impress my step dad the only father figure I will ever know
I try hard and been trying scince I was a teenager
But even though I try hard just to receive some fatherly love he still thinks I'm a lying disrespectful unworthy stupid *******
I try to impress my mom
A women who has never paid any attention to me and has abandoned me throughout my life coming and going whenever she feels like it
I try to hard tell my self I'm perfect because in this dark and hurtful world my self-esteem is hurt bad and I don't want it to fall any lower
I try to hard to make sure my daughter doesn't fall like I did so she doesn't feel as if her life has been a total failure
I try to hard make something of my self seeing as i could not have came to the world any lower
This is why I try
These are reasons we try
To fix things we dont like to protect people we care about to get things we never had
This is how we really feel but never express

Froom moon to Jupiter
along its constant feeling of
falling the bricks of its centuries
Aurora Borealis to Centauri
sculpting the gasps off air and breathe
We inhaled the gases
the poison of liquidation,
the water that surrounds us;
the universe.
Another planet we communicate &
hopeful we wish for.
As long as the stars
could reconnect,
recollect the dust,
the galaxy that we traces
from our palm hands &
softly cuddling each other.
Cherished every moment
from here to there, &
possibly we could
Plant the other story
cause maybe the sparks
of the stars might fall
back to where it belongs.

Don't die before your actual death.