If you’re listening to this right now hoping to hear something new,
Hoping to hear something that might inspire you
Or give you that rush you’ve been looking for…
Just…
Keep looking…

We’ve all said it before...
That we’re looking for something…
That we’re just not sure what it is...

And I think that -for the most part- we deserve that.
That uncomfortable mystery.
I mean…
What’s the point of reading a book if you already know how it ends?
If you knew what you were looking for,
There’s no adventure in the search for it.
So why is it that every time I see a sunset...
My gut reaction is to run away from it?
Like I’m trying to repent for wasting my day but I don’t know why.
It didn’t feel like I was wasting it until it was over and by then…
The sun was already setting.

Let me try to make more sense of this…

So you’re 8 years old.
Not once in those 8 years have you ever worried
That you won’t be enough,
That you won’t amount to anything.
In those 8 years you’ve been in spaceships and castles.
You’ve gone from training wheels to treasure maps.
Streetlights were your curfew
And the sunset never seemed like an ending.
You went to bed that night and woke up 10 years later in a panic Looking for something you lost the day before.
The world was falling apart
And the sun hadn’t even made an appearance yet.
Your spaceships have landed
And your treasure maps turned out to be dead ends...

The swing set couldn’t get you out of orbit
And you didn’t find what you were looking for
In that hole in the back yard.

You’re 18…
Everything feels like the ending of the story
And you don’t even know the plot yet.
You start drawing treasure maps again
And everyone thinks you’re crazy,
But all you’re really trying to do find is what you lost so long ago
And when they tell you to just retrace your steps…
None of the footprints look like you own.

You start running in reverse.
Whether it be to get away from yourself or who you thought you were, It doesn’t matter.
The point is that you’re looking for something.
You start dusting off old treasure maps and try to revisit the stars.
What once was your castle
Is now just an old blanket next to the couch in the living room.
You start to panic.
Frantically you search for the moment of impact
When your rocket returned home
And the lid of the treasure chest slammed shut.
But you won’t find it.
It’s not there anymore.
You start to notice how empty your gut feels,
Yet at the same time so heavy.

So you’re 18 years old.
You’ve started to worried that you won’t be enough.
That you won’t amount to anything.
In these 18 years you’ve been in spaceships and castles.
You’ve gone from training wheels to taking tests.
Streetlights are no longer your curfew
And every sunset is a different ending.
You’ll go to bed tonight
And wake up 10 years from now in a panic
Looking for something you lost the day before.
The world never stopped falling apart
And the sun hasn’t even made an appearance yet.
Your spaceships have landed
And your treasure maps turned out to be dead ends...

And I think that -for the most part- we deserve this.
This uncomfortable mystery.
I mean…
What’s the point of reading a book if you already know how it ends?
If you knew what you were looking for,
There’s no adventure in the search for it.
So why is it that every time I see a sunset...
My gut reaction is to run away from it?
Maybe because I know I’m still searching for something
And my time is running out.
And everyday when I wake up,
Panicked,
Looking for something I lost the day before
The world starts falling apart…
But by then…
The sun is already setting.

We’ve all said it before...
That we’re looking for something…
That we’re just not sure what it is…

And at the end of that day,
What you're looking for could be right in front of you,
Plain as the sunset,
But you'll never know unless you keep your eyes open,
And keep looking.

So if you’re listening to this right now hoping to hear something new,
Hoping to hear something that might inspire you
Or give you that rush you’ve been looking for…
Just…
Keep looking…

First sight is too little time but first word is just enough.
I felt the hook slide through my lip and it tasted sweet like lies.
Those words and syllables and ties and lies
Sent tingles from my lips to my hips to my fingertips.
It felt like paisley bandannas and lollipops
From the good old days when raindrops didn’t burn.
Each letter echoed through my ears and out through my nose,
Then I snorted them again like an addict would.
I breathed you and tasted you and pictured you.
I loved you just then.
Listen closely now because I want you to hear me
With your eyes and your lips.
Your ears can rest
Because all you need to know is that
I am not beautiful but I taste like roses.
When the air gets cold and
I can taste the peppermint of winter-time
I’ll think of you and know that you taste it to.
Even if you’re galaxies away and
Can’t hear me when I call you
I know that we are one because
I feel your heart beating
When the hammer slams down and your teeth hit mine.
When the kiss of death falls upon me and
You’re its deliverer and
I can’t breathe but I can scream,
I will surrender to your antics and
Fall slowly with you till the cotton candy clouds catch me.
I’ll know that you never even knew me but
You swept me away anyway.
I’ll love you then.

I just want to be a light in your life.

If ever you need a shoulder to cry on,
I'm always here.
If ever you need someone to talk to,
I'm always here.
If ever you need to be proven how much you're loved,
I'm always here.
If ever you need to see a will to keep going,
I'm always here.

I fail get back up
My heart keeps going in this battle
My heart so broken
Where is the glue to put  it back together
A  mistakes of kindness is my  weakness
I wish i didn't  have to care and walk alone
I have my eyes on you
I wish the battle was over
I just want hold you tight
I just want look deep into eyes
It so hard being in this battle looking for love
i wake  up see the stars as my heart beats for the warmth of another
A battle to find love in lost world that love is forgotten .

in, out
in, out
keep telling yourself its okay
and things will turn out fine
you cant change this one, dear
i know you want to
but you cant do a thing, sweetie
just take a breath and hold it
long after your face turns blue
if you hold it long enough it might do
if you wake again in a room draped in white
tubes sprouting out your veins
its quite alright, my love
for you just need to hold it longer
for as time passes just pretend
pretend like you can hold it together
for someone will believe
and let you be
but this time
when that comes
take things nice and slow
in
out
feel the wind breeze against your face
high in the sky
almost touching the stars
as you can hear honks from cars
the salty smell hitting your nose
as you just let it go
dropping, dropping
down you go
until
finally
you hear the whistling of wind in your ears
your hair flowing like the water below
and suddenly
plink
just like a raindrop
you fall from the sky
but instead of stopping, you fall further
this time
not gravity.
your greif and misery
dragging you down
yet the farther you go
it doesnt feel heavy
you feel light, floating even
until
you pop up
looking around, you find yourself in a river
a river of lost souls
finally,
finally.
you have reached
your final destination.

Not fast
I'm not quick enough.
I sediment
an impediment
to the betterment of...

who?
why?

I need a savior to hold me up
because the worlds become to tuff
Who would save a girl like me
a blip in history
everyone always sais
keep your head up don't let them see you cry
but when the world is the one that's sick
who will save me from it
I need a savior to hold me up
not the one in the holly book
I don't think im meant to be
im just a blip in history