Harbored so much pain and hate
Felt forgotten and alone
Even in a crowded room
Ready to fall at the hands of fate
Knelt at the despair throne
Trying to be strong in a world of gloom
Life is darkening like an unfathomable sonic boom
Healing me on my own
But my soul is already in a tomb
Silence beyond deafening
Prepared my bones for the reckoning
Flesh has turned cold, but blood is blazing
Each deep breath is like shards of glass shredding my lungs
Demons with every remark, scathing
Taking in every word as I succumb
Living in the Earth's core
Liquified metal, my new water source
A sudden gravitational force
Before I knew it, a voice from above
A childlike silhouette
The light beaming from their eyes
It's time to forgive
Hands clasped together, head to the skies
You are forgiven
The challenge of life hasn't won yet

My road for you was strong so early
But my child, I had to build you
I saw your struggle to keep your spark from fading
But you fought to keep your smile through it all
Even in solitude, you pushed through
You lost faith in me at age 7
Even if you didn't understand why
At your lowest, I knew your heart
Deep down, it never lost me
It just locked me away, until you forgave yourself
A heartbreak was your reset button

I found you again in the depths of me

Brown eyes, tinted by the sun
Tossing until the tangling is undone
Time to rise and be gracious
With faith, no entity can break us
We rise, live in our purpose
Only a few see beneath the surface
Trust and be true to yourself

Dawn begins to break
I stand at the window, awake
Tasks of the day floating in my mind
Then I feel you from behind
Holding tight, your head on my shoulder
Squeezing me like I showed her
You place your hand on my heart
The ruckus from out couldn't make us part
Smooth reversal without breaking the embrace
Holding you this way is my favorite place
From behind, in the perfect place to whisper in your ear
Inhaling your essence, sweeter than honey
How did I get so lucky

Wherever in the world you are
I truly hope you aren't far
Your safe space is warm
A place to transform
Turn off the tough exterior
The outside world is inferior
Creating a world of our own
You are no longer alone
Your throne awaits

In a world where the minds split
Falling into a fiery pit
Balancing reality and imagination
Mounting up into mounds of frustration
The world feels so heavy right now
Unsure of which way to move or how
Taking facts and drawing them out
The various changes leave in doubt
Imagination wants to play
Control feels so serious right now
Torn between what's within reach and beyond
Time to sever the bond
A battle between sadness and happiness
Most days are either-or, and some are both
The one constant is that those are the choices
There's no in-between without the voices

As the sunset drew closer, we decided to meet and give this a go
She wore the simplest dress, but it fit her so well
Her hair was to the side in a ponytail, with wavy curls to the end
The perfect shade of pink on her lips
Her eyes were brighter than the candle
Her nose had the cutest little wrinkle when she laughed
After dessert, we took a walk by the water
I held her shoes so she could dip her feet
Halfway down the path, she grabbed my hand
We stood still just for a moment
Locked eyes and kissed
I felt like I was floating
I couldn't handle the sand beneath my feet
She slowly ran her hands across my neck
Still locked in a kiss, we both opened our eyes and chuckled
We finished the night with a kiss at the door
That perfect night, I often reminisce

A year flew by
We were still riding the honeymoon phase high
We spent every day together
We make it through any kind of weather
One day, if all turned to the worst
We exchanged words and actions, reversed them
Our first fight changed everything
That was the first devastating sting
Screaming over one another
Not listening to each other
When tempers finally cool down
We realized it was over, nothing to frown
Our last fight destroyed everything
Petty jabs on both ends
We were supposed to remain friends,
Instead, we struck the devil in each of us
Throwing unnecessary blame
Igniting the treacherous flame
Crushed under the circumstances
No room for advances
A long love has gone in one conversation

The one that got away
The one I wish I had gotten to stay
She was the love of my life
The one I was going to make for my wife
I never got the chance to ask
We destroyed our love before it got a chance to flourish

There is a thunderstorm in my head
Flashes of lightning behind my eyes
Rumbling in my ears
Rain pouring from my nose
There is a thunderstorm in my head
Grey clouds surrounding my brain
Blood pooling in my mouth
Teeth chattering with every rumble
Tongue swimming in blood
Darkness brewing in my eyebags
Lashes falling like ****** hail
Eyelids are heavier than an overcoat
Pupils so blown
Whirling clouds have my brain in a vice
A flare of sunlight would be nice
Blood-stamped conversation
No one sees
The voices are screaming
No one hears
Cryptic sounds near and far
No one speaks
There is a thunderstorm in my head

A sudden change in the atmosphere
Goosebumps on goosebumps
Sudden rambling and flashes
Uncontrollably trembling
The sky screeching
Shades of grey
That frightening night, I remember
You must find the nearest corner
No windows insight
My eyes feel glued shut
Hums drowned out the thunder
Rocking like a rocking chair
Strike from above
Imprints the ground
No, not again, please not again
Deep breath, exhale slowly
The storm will pass

Chicken Rice Soup

2 Chicken *******
2 Cups of Rice
A stick of butter
Eight  helping hands
An empty belly


Directions:

1.)In fall weather, the calming scent could only be Grandma’s kitchen. Saturday morning, raging bellies, smooth plea, acknowledged. There's a crowded table, a full house of grandkids, and hilarious workarounds. The magic assembly starts eagerly with helping hands.

2.)Sauteed chicken is diced in the pan. Bring it to a boil, and don’t let the plan spoil. Time lapsed into a bowl, spoons all gone, no spoon, no food. Fresh bread from the oven. Everyone wants a taste; don't spoil your appetite. Calm over the room, everyone enjoyed a hot serving of Grandma’s Chicken Rice Soup.

Sunday- Eerie calm, conflicted resolve, evolution set forth, accomplishment succeeded

Monday- Empty spaces, glances missed, healing slowly

Tuesday- Numb and hollow, discouraged and drenched in disbelief

Wednesday- Stormy weather, tsunami rises, unsettling calm at heart

Thursday- Nostalgia brewing, focus on 1000, mind settled

Friday-General calm, tickle me, intrigued

Saturday- Empty spaces stand, swallowed by sadness, but thrive in this world