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Jay Jul 24
A master plan has been laid out for the future
And you’re still at the bottom of the totem
Reaching three decades on this earth
Wondering what it's morphed into
Going for the *** of gold at the end of the rainbow
Letting positivity bleed through me into this pen until it runs on empty
Striving to succeed over greed
I am triumphant
Take a breath so my lungs can breathe
Taking in the fresh summer breeze
Running out of time
Mind racing, the soul is fading into the dark
Heart beating in a rhythm so relentless
Hoping my mind stops before I indirectly spill your ***** deeds
Buried deep in my mind, circling the drain
Cutting you like a switchblade, memories of you fade
I am triumphant
I have been stepped on and hated on, but I still kept my dreams alive
To me, it’s not about the money and the fame
It’s about self-expression, knowing how to speak your mind
Our lives are intertwined by design
Do you think it’s time to be a better version of yourself
Trends and fads come and go, but you remain an empty canvas
Create your path and be a trendsetter
Shocked by love, scorned by terror
She has risen above and let a love so true heal her wounds
Now she sits back, more in love than ever before
She is no longer forsaken, for she is now a wise woman in love and has turned sorrow into strength
Cherishing the love she has found in her
Jay Jul 24
Fighting through life to change my view of the world
That has become cold and blind to me
I'm stronger than I was
Shaming me for the lifestyle that I chose
Almost 30 years fighting the same fight for my right to be who I am
Taking on the depression demons below the surface
Feel left out in this cold world of black sheep
This is a tale of a soul so far gone into depression and anger
All these pills just make me numb, millions of doctor visits
It all started in late 1994 and has progressed virtually every year
After I felt so cold, I couldn't even cry anymore
Tear ducts are drier than the Sahara
I close my eyes, and all I see is pain and horror
All I'm asking is for some light to show me the way
Stronger than I was
The game got hold of me
I can't let my mind be free
Never know the mayhem it might unleash
The anticipation of the way it'll all turn out
Most years went by all the same
No change in my convictions
Home life was a drag, and school was an escape
I spent many years numb; putting on fake smiles kept it all inside
No longer looking for validation
I raise my voice to the north, rosary in hand
Speaking to the one who's cared for me all along
Restoring my faith is my only way out
Stronger than I was
My only way out
Stronger than I was
Jay Jul 24
You never know when the clock expires
Live  far beyond the wealth and desires
My soul bleeds fire
Drama raises the pressure higher
Looking at this world blind
Loyalty is hard to find
Pain drips from a double-edged sword
Praying and falling short with the lord
Playing the same sick scenario
Wondering if the clocks are ready to expire
You never know
You may never know
But the Lord knows
Because he did sow
And made sure those seeds didn't blow
Away with the wind
Yet you feel so undisciplined
Like all you'll ever do is  sin
Like, maybe you just can't win
But that's not true
Your world isn't so blue
You can live your life brand new
You'll never know
Missing that gentle voice of comfort
Thinking, really, what's my life worth
The glorified crusade has gone wild
Bleeding through the seams
Life is flashing by too fast
Fight with my heart and soul to last
Lights piercing through me like high beams
You never know
Why do things fall the way they do
The one true life independence is through total transcendence

— The End —