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Hannah Bratrud Jan 2020
I stumble as my feet attempt to take the next step, weary and tired
My Lord softly gazed at His servant and says "Walk through the fire"
My knees suddenly give way and I fall into the flames
My soul screams in agony as I try to escape
Tears run from my eyes and commit suicide
They freely drop into the scorching heat
The fire grows hotter and consumes me
"All for your good. . ." I hear the words echo in my head
"Trials will prepare you for the final tests. . ."
I drag my helpless body across the searing coals
My flesh begins to die and my spirit gains control
One last push and I have reached the end. . .
Then my Lord quietly asks "Can you do it again?"
Tenant Dec 2019
Crackling skin-goes black.
Shades
You fade, you change.
Crevices-groves
I follow you, I watch you change.
At first I saw streams
Fresh flowing waters
It was sublime.
It dries
Canyons form
and you feel empty.
Orchid T Aspen Dec 2019
Eventually my memory
will lament
in daydreams
//:.
that my pride
was dissolving in my bed,
//:.
that my solace
was pacing vehemently in my head,
//:.
that my martyrdom
was telling me I may recover,
//:.
that my return
was murmuring softly,
//:.
that my fury
was invading my hiding door,
//:.
that my frenzy
was stabbing at my scalp,
//:.

and perhaps my memory
will stutter
as always,
//:.


and I can stack my scabs again.
Why is it that you sleep so soundly beside me while I lie awake feeling alone~
elysian Dec 2019
to live day by day
watching the clock tick away,

what is it all for?
yet, here i am.
litost
- state of torment created by the sudden sight of one's own misery
Tyler Nov 2019
I wonder
If someday
I’ll be able to close my eyes again
Without seeing you with him
Without visualizing all the details
I wonder
If someday
I can look at you, laughing
Without feeling that sting in me
The sting that means
That I won’t grow old with that laugh
That I can’t simply grab you
And kiss you
Because your little dimples are so cute
Because your sharp corner teeth are weirdly attractive
Because your heart speaks to mine
Only mine doesn’t speak to yours
And that makes my stomach feel like a fighting ring
Because I don’t know if I can ever
Not love you
Not long after you
Not feel like a stranded **** island
When I close my eyes
And see only you
With him.
sushii Nov 2019
Frightful and paranoid
The fear begins to set in
But then I remember
There is no one outside
There is nothing within.
N Nov 2019
Being mentally ill is draining,
so is breathing,
so is staying alive,
so is being hopelessly hopeful

But I will decay gracefully
for this pain is more than I can bear
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