How selfish of me having someone new.
Yet some nights I sit craving you .
Selfish of me for leaving you
For the same reasons she ended up loving  about you
I hate the pain I feel from your happiness because before I knew I was in perfect bliss
How good it felt to think I was the only one who could ever love you yet I chose not too
I would keep telling myself our paths would cross again but then my new man came in
And I thought I had it all
It’s selfish that I though he would spend all his life waiting for me
And I thought leaving would make me feel free
But now I’m back to being unsure about who I’m meant to be
You are loved and now married
soon you may start creating you’re own little family
and I can’t help but think all of that should’ve been with me .
The nerve I have in me to feel entitled
The selfishness in me for loving two
For the longest time I didn’t know what to do but now your ship has sailed
And I’m hoping my new relationship doesn’t fail
And for you I hope marriage does you well

I had it under control. I had just spent 3 hours reading, indulging my mind and then it came like a giant wave. Knocked me off my feet
all cliched, down to a bench
My watery guts running down
my twin cheeks

“****” I screamed.
But I knew exactly how I “gut” here.
However, this didn’t make feel any better.
how many ***** can you scream until it gets remotely better.

One was enough for me today.
One calming “F” bomb.

Darling, I have
Almost no hobbies
I tried to
**** myself
Once or thrice
But nothing ever
Came of it
I'm really just
Oh so boring
I read all day
And not what they
Want, oh no
I'm a travesty
To look at
A senseless tragedy
That's all I'll
Ever be
I'm too fond
Of overt manipulation
But darling
That will never
Stop you
From telling me
Who I really am
A mighty brainless
***** of sorts
And I'll never
Touch a man
A girl's only so
If she never sweats
And the only
Thing out there
Is an abusive
Husband
Love you're breaking
All the boundaries
You knit and
You sew and
You bake a cake
But don't touch
A crumb
You're smart
And you read
You'll soon be off
To university
Really just incredibly
Wildly exceptional
And for you
Opinions, well
Whoever said
That sexism
Is dead
Has obviously
Never met you

Take me to the altar and do as you please.
Even on my knees
I can love you as the man I am.
If you alter my person plan to pay fees.
Blood lines down my back
each a token of luck.
The purpose of this poem
is ruckus and ****
but whenever I get close
I think of the people I've ******
up.
My past closes in faster
to the brim of sin.
I can't last as a pastor.
Casting my eyes while preaching some line.
It's culture's downfall as I bind and entwine.
We are powerless to escape our nature in kind.
Pray to a fate blurred
then unearth what we find.

I am extremely in love with you,
And I don't want to be,
I'm not supposed to be,
But I am

same old street, it's raining light
when will i suspend my sight?
powerless, yet still up for a fight
when all is wrong, just turn right

same old street, it's always night
when will i suspend my flight?
powerless, enshrouded by fright
when all is wrong, just write.