Walking down the hallway,
Its my first day,
I feel alienated,
As well as irritated,
I keep moving every year,
Sometimes here, sometimes there.

New friends, new house,
New appearance, new blouse,
New crush, new admirers,
New enemies, new fighters.

But this particular day i can never forget,
For i set my eyes on a particular someone i just met,
As he locked his eyes on me,
I blushed in response looking away ready to flea.

I attempt to get up and walk but my limbs are in stasis
I command this body lying on the ground to do my bidding, its no good
Eventually I tire myself and get frustrated so I choose to forget how to move
I'm happy now but only for a brief moment

My delusion of being contempt fades, I feel defeated
I observe others and how they move without any struggle
I envy them
No I hate them

After countless days had passed I had given up not only hope but emotions overall
I admit defeat and go numb
No more struggles
No more despair
No more hope

One day a man walks up to me, grabs my wrist, and heaves me up
I dangle from this mans grasp, I'm amazed
My feet slowly touch the ground
My arms stretch out and I remember how to move

This unbearable weight has been removed, I am in awe
This unconceivable frustration is no longer present
I am indebted to this man however without saying a word he disappears

Time passes I forget what it was like to be immobilized
My memory of the man who picked me up fades
And one day I choose to lay down and forget how to move again

I have so much to give.
So much to offer.
And no where to put it
It's this constant feeling
Like I know what I am, what I want, what I need
and there's nothing to do with it right now.
I'm waiting to stumble upon someone with the same needs and wants
and massive soul with too much to give.
I'm waiting on someone to wake up and live life as much as I do;
to just have this huge energy that wants to play and mingle with my massive soul and huge energy.
Do you reach a time where people suddenly love life?
Do people start to feel more alive
or do they stay mostly dead
I don't want to feel dead.
My vulnerable open loud insides need people with the same guts.
I need people who feel familiar;
people who love loudly and often.

Life is ******.
Everything is ******.
**** this life.
I'm only here for her, even if all I ever do is cause her strife.
**** all of it,
I'm tired of this ****.

Does she even need me?
Should I leave her be?
After all, I'm sure she's sick of me
I want her to be free.
Not chained,
And for me to be the one to blame.

I don't know,
Whether I should stay or go,
It's all too confusing,
This constant feeling of losing.

this morning i awoke but torn inside
angered easily
distorted by reality
and I am even more angered with myself
i couldn't do what i want
then i decided i would write these words of my frustrations
I am isolated now
which brings even more alienation
but would i rather it this way?
I do not know
But i'd like to know
As i write i find myself
back to my space and own time
thanks to my keyboard

You think to yourself
“I’m always going to be mad at them”
You hope it’s true, though you secretly know it can’t be
When you’re mad you want to be mad
When you’re sad, a part of you feels alive
So you hold that grudge. Hold it tight
Because tomorrow, you might be happy
—back to square one.

I am
Eternally exasperated
Frequently frustrated
Incessantly irate
Perpetually perturbed

Awfully ambivalent  
Forever fickle
Frustratingly finnicky
Laconicly labile
Madly mercurial
Virulently volatile

And every other ******* adverb, adjective alliteration

She called me fool,
I heard it,
I loved it.
AAAAAAAARGGGGH.
Furiosa,
beautiful-strong.

Tho I'm Max,
Mad,
I am mad,
AAAAAARGHH,
I see my daughter sometimes,
she haunts my mind,
I miss-
AAAAARGHHHH.

The girls....
Not property anymore,
The coat-
AAAAARRRGHHH
breathes harshly breathes harshly
Mine.

The car....
Mine.
It's gone.

My blood...
Nux..
I wa-
AAAAARGGHHHH
breathes harshly breathes harshly breathes harshly
his blood bank,
he

HE's

Gone.