When Fern replaced Jack,
There was no turning back.
It felt like an attack,
And then the friendship cracked.
As the people chose their factions,
And Jack found himself alone,
He came to the conclusion,
Breaking free from his delusion,
That the only person’s word that he could count on was his own.

It happened rather fast,
A single moment passed.
A new transfer student,
Felt that he needed to be included.
He didn’t want to be alone,
So he found the nearest friend group,
And hoped they’d take him as their own.

He walked to the group,
Who were trapped in their coops,
Scrolling through their tombs,
Not having anything to say.
Fern cleared his throat,
His anxiety was flying high.
As he stuttered,
“H-h-hi-hi.”

The group was surprised, someone new had bothered,
To approach them,
Especially someone so nervous.
They pondered,
What his ulterior motive was,
As they looked him up and down.
Fern frowned.
Were they judging him?
His hands shook,
As sweat trickled to the ground.
Eventually, Jack got up,
Took his hand and shook it.
“I’m Jack!”
The moment,
That Jack wished he could take back.

Freshman year went on,
And nothing consequential changed.
Fern grew closer to the group,
As life kept turning the pages,
Of their stories,
Growing closer to the heartbreaking ending.

Sophomore year began,
And Jack noticed that things felt off,
Not oppressive,
But enough that he wanted it to stop.
Fern brought another friend along,
And Jack found himself sitting alone,
Fern’s friend just seemed more interesting,
Than Jack ever was.
Jack’s friends used to talk to him,
Then they didn’t.
Jack figured out right away,
That this was how it felt to be replaced.

So Jack went out of his way,
To avoid his “friends” every day.
If they didn’t care,
He wouldn’t let it tear down his sails.
It hurt,
But he knew he’d heal.
He’d leave them behind,
Clawing at his heels.

When Fern replaced Jack,
There was no turning back.
It felt like an attack,
And then the friendship cracked.
As the people chose their factions,
And Jack found himself alone,
He came to the conclusion,
Breaking free from his delusion,
That the only person’s word that he could count on was his own,
And that was okay!

You think things I won’t
You think things I shouldn’t
You think things I wouldn’t
You need things I couldn’t
You need things I’ve hidden  
You read things I’d never
You love things whenever
You love things forever
You kiss things redder
You trust things better
You cut things deeper
You make things greater
You do things incredible
You fix things broken
You help things grow
You think things slow
You risk things failing
You destroy things on purpose
You make things difficult
You hurt things I care about
You make things bleed
You borrow things then steal
You say things and retreat
You **** things and weep
You feel things
You write things are empty
You look things in the eyes
You do things to pass the time
You love things at times
You hate things otherwise
You treat things gently
You eat things heavily
You feel things
You love things
You think things
You live things
You move things forward
You hold things back
You let things go
You let things happen
You try things out

'Thank you, it's a gift from my father.'
She tells me with a smile.
A small silver ring, cradled in her hand.
'It's fine, I love to swim'
An hour underwater,
Together, a moment of fun.
'See you next week!'
Her healing smile warms my body,
Gentle voice soothing my soul.
'See you then.'
She leaves with a smile,
While I return to shower.


'Do you wish to speak?'
A teary woman asks,
Face familiar through the daze.
'What can I even say?'
Sitting in a packed church,
Voice like a zombie.
'She was so happy that you found her ring...'
I nod and say nothing,
The woman leaves me be.
'And it was all Yellow...'
Coldplay, your favourite song,
I swear will haunt me forever.

'It's been 20 years...'
Even so, tears still fall.
Blurring out a dull reality.
'I'm doing fine.'
Lying through clenched teeth,
I hear her scold me in my mind.
'*******.'
Time stripped away her face,
Voice an empty echo.
'And it was all Yellow.'
The song hits me hard,
Sobbing in the supermarket.

My family moved houses when I was young.
I was scared to start in the new school.
You were the first person to care about me
and I didn’t feel so lonely when I was with you.

You moved away when I was young.
You use to call and so did I.
We use to write and tell each other of our adventures all the time.

Then the phone stopped ringing.
And the letters stopped filling up the letterbox.

I never knew what happened to you…
I guess that’s what growing up does to kids like me and you.

Pieces, pieces, pieces
colorful or dull
sharp or soft
intricate or simple

all the same
all want to fit
few fit with all
all fit with few

Oh, to be the few
to fit with all
I fit with few
like many of you

When everything in sight bursts with colors bright
You anticipate sensations that excite
How you shake my body like ripples through the ground
How you make my head spin as if on a merry-go-round
Shots of whiskey soaking through my skin
Was it a glimpse of heaven or one step away from sin?
You said I am worthy of celebrating what's underneath my clothes
Fantasy manifested
Hair down to my toes
Does ever it captivate your mind with memories?
How it mattered to trace my curves with ease?
It is not intoxication causing my cheeks to flush
Hard finding words to correctly describe this rush
And never got another chance to repeat our brief interaction
Well I hope I was able to reciprocate the same level of satisfaction
I did my best being a version of myself I believed you'd desire
Amidst laughter realized sparks in my center had grown into fire
And I will cherish warmth even if I never see your face again
In veins your name flowed as effortlessly as ink from my pen
Unlike you and simplicity and perfection
Scars are too deep
Too afraid of rejection
And you pointing out reasons I had to love myself
For the first time in a long while seemed to truly help
I wish you could have cradled me in that tent forever
Of course every tie must eventually sever
In your presence I no longer was haunted by ghosts from my past
Potential palpable
Hours ended too fast
When our lips met pretended it would never stop
Unable to control way my stomach flip-flopped
You had this personality that made me feel good
I showed you my favorite spots around my neighborhood
It was obvious you were handsome
To have your interior match?
Already knew better than to get too attached
That night I was happier than I'd been in quite awhile
Surprised how easily you coaxed out my smile
I loved your tattoos and intelligent brain
Plus the method you used your hands made me go insane
We took dab hits staying up most of the night
Until we fell asleep conversing still holding each other tight
For two friends who had so recently met
Admit I sure felt close
*** was like a drug and I couldn't help but crave another dose
I yearned to be better
For you tried to be enough
With so much distance between us
Quitting too tough
So continued living
Stumbling the dark
The hunger shifted to somewhere in the back of my heart
I should have realized from the beginning you were too good for me
Did
Couldn't help but long for what couldn't be
These emotions will stick with me wherever I may go
When I seem sad I look back and recall the gentle glow
I felt when you hugged me
Oh I miss your embrace
In return I hope you sometimes also miss my face