I will not set myself on my fire
for people who would not show me  the
fierce passion I have for them.
I have worth that goes beyond drunk
Wednesday nights.  I have expanded myself to fit
forgotten conversations and men who do not love me.
But this heart fits the nights I saw my mother’s heart break,
the afternoons I held my crying friends, the laughter shared
on rainy days, sad dog videos on youtube, love for a child I did not have, an ache for the heartbroken girl who was also wronged by the same man and still there was room for you to tear open the safe haven for people who deserve it far more than you. I will never be angry at her. I take thread and patch up the hole so she can be warm and safe within my heart. She who was full of life, whose expressive face made everyone feel included, who hugged me after meeting me once and said we are friends. And still I slept with you and still, I believed her the villain when the villains were us.
She may hate me but **** it, I am angry for her.
We laid in the same bed, miles apart, felt the same ache, formed a kinship and both felt sorry for your new girl . Tell her she has a place in my heart too when you break her. Tell the one after her, she is welcomed here too. There is a safe space outside of you. We do not need to expand ourselves to accommodate you. You who would not expand for anyone but yourself.

I would rather have a million voices in my head, then think of you.
Ever.
Because loving you was about as much fun as kissing a rose.

once you break the petals off

all you're left with





is thorns on a stem

Our smiling faces plastered across my phone screen
Looking back now, I can see the facade
I can too easily distinguish
Those smiles that were real from the ones as fake as the heart I gave you
I feel slight sadness when I see your face
We were together for two years
But they were full of confusion and lies
And I'm genuinely sorry for that
You deserve better than that
Better than me

And then there's the more recent breakup
I didn't even look at the pictures before I deleted them
And I'm sorry I'm so heartless
But we really shouldn't have happened
I wasn't ready to date again and
I didn't know me
So how could I expect you to understand?
But you were good, we just weren't meant to be
I regret it only because I hurt you so much
And I know you're still hurting
I'm sorry I wasn't the one
And that I can't help you anymore

Now, I look at the only picture I have with my love
And I imagine staring at it if we were to ever split
It breaks my heart to even consider it
This is real love
This is the most genuine feeling I've ever felt in my life
Because I love you more than words will ever explain
And if you chose to leave
My entire universe would crumble beneath me
My feet would fall between the crumbling rock
Breaking my legs as I slip down
Until I'm stuck in a lonely abyss
And I hate to admit how strongly I feel
And how much I truly crave forever
Because my past is full of skeletons
And I know I deserve to hurt the way I hurt them
But you are nothing shy of perfect
The brightest light I've ever had the privilege to witness
And how you love me
I'll never know
But I will revel in every second
Because you are the stars
The moon
The entire galaxy
To me

Your energy is like a siren's tune
You bring me into your realm with your soul
And embrace me with your ruin
I'm so swept away I don't even realize what you're doin'..
Your clenching around my neck and through the ins and outs I feel whole..
Your darkness and melancholy could fill a room, but whatever happened to that glow?
Signs of the uncalled for and unnatural... I've been seeing them in the moon
You always seem to cross my mind in the afternoon
I've come to know and love you, hope you'll see that soon
We've taken a pause for quite some time but will it ever resume?

To my lover,
the one I crave the most.
My core winces to see you weep,
but with the state of your home,
I don't wonder why you're sad.

If my empire was torn to shreds I would tear also,
but my place is within you.
You are the one I'm invested in.

You are the one for me,
so, just text me when you read this
...because I'll be your home.

I'll keep you warm.

I do not fear your high tides.
I see no more light in your ocean eyes.
You used to be my wild heart.
But now, you are only nature to me,
a bit of beauty observed from afar
as I hold someone else’s hand
and watch you swallow up the sun.

It seems you have a taste for radiance,
something you covet, but do not own.
You saw this in me,
but I will be ******
before I ever again
let you come in
close enough
to drag me under.

I spend hours trying to understand
why you still care
when I should address why I do, instead
I don't think bout you often anymore
But when I do, I think bout how i hope you can't get my smile out of your head, that you wonder how I am

But most days, I wish that you hit every red light on the way to class
that you forget your phone charger at home and your iphone dies halway through your three hour lecture,
on a Monday,
at 9 am

Some days, I hope that the left bud of your headphones break
that all your lays chips are crushed, even though the bag is all air and no potato

I rarely think of you, but when I do, I hope that you lose your last guitar pick
and your brother leaves your aux cord at home,
again

I hope that all of your mac and cheese is just a little to watery and that you lose all of your left socks

On the days I think of you, I wish you uneven laces
and rain on your birthday

I wish you a hole in the crotch your favorite pants and
the parking spot furthest from the entrance

I hope only radio commercials for tampons
and a brain freeze

I wish you forget the last page of your paper in the printer
I wish you forget me

I wish you lose my number
and hope you lose the desire to text me, again

cause maybe if you forget it will be easier for me too
and I won't have to wish you ****** noses and a really big hang nail anymore