You enter
      Riding on a soundtrack of rising blood pressure and self defeat
       Every conversation kills itself at the sight of you;
     A *joke not quite worth telling, that no one would laugh at anyway
          Every eye stops to stare at you
        *An aging car crash of a human
Wrecked and painted in dried blood
     Seducing onlookers with a rinky-**** smile
     Missing the convenient yellow caution tape that tells you life stops here
          
       You complain to fill the spaces left by your depleting self worth
  That wasn't much there in the first place
In the mirror you see dirt
    And you can't wash it away, no matter how hard you try
Cause you're ****** in all the wrong ways
Up until you die

     Unintelligently designed
Your stupidity is almost genius
       You blame others for mishaps that you have gained
                            Your sickness a silent auction
                       Anyone could have caught it
       Infectious Anonymous
Attended every week
      And yet you're still so pathetic
you don't accept you're a disease worse than any flare up that could take hold
        You don't know how to recognize the facts that you've been told

       You complain to fill the spaces left by your depleting self worth
  That wasn't much there in the first place
In the mirror you see dirt
    And you can't wash it away, no matter how hard you try
*Cause you're ****** in all the wrong ways
Up until you die

A word. That word. The one you said while I was sitting on your lap. The room was dark but dim from the moon shining through your window. That word. Say it again.
*******.

my family told me that they were the most important in my life,
they imprinted their significance in the back of my head,
but i realized that the most important ones are;
the beings that stick around after a cold fight
or the few people who drove miles and miles just to hold you tight.
maybe even the people who let you dampen their shirts,
after all the problems that made your head spin,
your eyes clouded with tears,
your hands tremble
and your ears buzz on the inside.

maybe to you, these people are the few people you label as family,
the ones who you come home to see after a hectic day at work,
or the people you greet as you throw your self on the couch.
maybe the people you go on long vacations with
or the people who say they're the most important in your lives,
but these people could be the reason behind those problems or those fights.

did you think of me
when you were with them?
did you think of me
when you kissed them?
did you think of me
when you touched them?
did you think of me
when you made love to them?

did i ever cross your mind?
were you ever actually mine?
did you ever actually love me?
did i ever actually have the key?
do you regret it?
was i worth it?
do you even miss me at all?

do you think of me
when you hold her hand?
do you think of me
when she speaks of band?
do you think of me when she smiles at you?
do you think of me
when she says, 'I love you'?

i may never know the answers to these,
but the one answer i have is when someone asks me,
"do you still love him?"
and all i know to say is, "sadly."

I don't know what to do with myself
I'm a sandpaper sphincter
Yeah, I come across too strong

I'm looking for someone to help me
Because I can do nothing on my own
There's an endless flailing going on...
Like trying to grasp hold of something

Is there anything that's real?

Is there anything real?

Is anything real if you aren't looking at it?

"You know, out of all the friends I've known you've really been the greatest to me so far. You listen, you care, and I feel really comfortable around you. I can honestly say I love you, but with the situation it won't work out."

Why can't I be real on my own?
Perception is all of life;
My perception, Jaded and Alone

What is up with all the scammers on here,
Is this not a place for poetry,
Free thought.
The freedom to read poetry and writing,
And have yours read in turn.
So please all of you *******,
who are trying to **** other people,
Please stop,maybe try writing some poetry yourself,
It might help you realize that ******* people,
Just leaves everyone ******.
Thank you i hope you have an epiphany.
Ps. To the scammers that wont learn to respect others or at least stop trying to **** everyone....i hope you get cancer.

As I drove here today
I pondered the funny feeling
The one I felt when I first ran away
The one that crept
The one that made the abuse real
Those were the ones making me feel

Two hours later, I'm in my car
knowing I should go
I should run and take myself away
Once again
Its not as easy this time
Seeing him place his hands
And his words and his tone
On the little ones

The little ones that I grew
The ones I wish could have flew
With me to another place
Somehow achieving a sense of grace

The little ones I can't protect
Not anymore, I can't forget
Every time I'm here
all of these fears
They just come creeping back

I'll just sit in my car this time