I can be a real ******* sometimes
I get angry at silly little things
I don't always listen
I won't always do what I say
And I wish I could change that
But I don't think it's possible
I just hope I can be forgiven
And make things better

DO YOU REMEMBER THE NIGHT I HAD SIX DRINKS AND YOU HAD NONE

BECAUSE I DON'T

Fell badly in love,
until one day it stopped.
He told me he loves me
And that he cannot live without me,
Not even a day had passed that he'd already forgotten about me,
As if I where never there...
He'd forgotten every memory we made.
Like a story never written...
He had said he'll wait for me...
Blindly I believed his words,
Later knowing he had never waited a day,
That he planned his new romantic escapade,
Realizing he had never really loved me...
And that he only liked the game.
Felt as if I dug a grave for my heart...
Emptiness and sorrow filled my soul.
My heart had died and my soul was too.
Weeks have gone by...and still I feel dead.
Unable to find happiness...
Refusing any love...
Trying to forget...
To find someone new...
But I feel better alone instead...

You have your hands around her neck yet she's not afraid. She's so love struck she doesn't feel your grip getting tighter. She gasps for air but you're giving her "love" so she doesn't care. You hold her tightly behind your back not letting anyone see that she's your back up, your plan B. Her delicate hands Trimble and you don't care because the power you posses over her is too addictive for you to let go of. Your evil deceiving words assuring love and protection melt her heart, but your promises never fulfilled. Twisting her words making HER the one at fault for all of your ***** ups and misconceptions. Her heart longs to be accepted, to be "good enough" for you. When she is a sweet daisy trying to grow through rocks and thistles, you are but **** on a gym shower room floor. You will NEVER deserve this flower, this gem, that you think you have control over. One day this princess will become a queen, fight for what she wants and what she deserves.

I wake in the middle of the night to a feeling
a feeling that's been gone for awhile
a feeling i can't understand or know what to do with it
this saddens is back
it went away, I felt amazing life was looking hopefully
but it all came crashing down
one little talk
things went from being great to
I don't think we should continue this
he got scared
and I got hurt.
like being punched in the heart
you hurt me
you're a ****
I don't forgive you.

I will rest my hand on top of yours
And look at you,
Hoping for my tears to come;
Which will save me from a speech I dare not say;
Which will spare me a moment I want no recollection of.

I will pretend to have been stupid
And I will look away--artificially ashamed
But the instances that come after are of wisdom

I will promise you of how my story ends;
How you are not just another pit stop in the race I'm in;
How you are my finish line: my only destination
It's just that, the race hasn't ended yet
So I'm not yet with you, but soon I will be
You will find romance in the story spilling out of my lips
Each word kisses you sweetly, like my lies
And you develop conviction
I will ask myself if it matters that they are not true
I will not answer
And it will not matter

I SIT HERE AND THINK
OF ALL THE THINGS I
COULD START TO MISS ABOUT
YOU AND
THEN I REMEMBER
YOU RIPPED MY ******* HEART OUT
AND GAVE IT TO HER