I’m sorry I can’t sleep,
That I spend my nights in constant agony,
Closing my eyes and trying to stay calm
But never finding rest within my mind.
I’m sorry I always have a headache,
That I have a constant pain behind
My eyelids, a torture that plagues my temples
And unmercifully spirals around my head.
I’m sorry I have to fake my way through
Every day, smiling and laughing while
The constant fatigue drains at my soul,
Tempting me to snap at everyone.
I’m sorry I frequently wake up in tears,
Fully convinced that the terrors of the night
Are real and tangible, and even though they aren’t,
I know they’ll come back night after night.
I’m sorry I’m too scared to tell anyone
What I’m going through, too worried
That they will think I’m weak, or stupid,
Or that I’m lying to gain attention.
I’m sorry I apologize for everything,
That I am paranoid, worried sick about
All the wrong I’ve done, and all the
Wrong my mind leads me to believe I’ve done.
I’m sorry.

Never apologize for
being who you are.
Only you know the
depth of the ocean
you took a dive in.

Poison


My pain is contagious, so don’t come any closer;
I don’t want you to suffer, as I must suffer.
I won’t let this pain, eat away at you too.
This is my cross to carry;
Don’t let it be a burden to you.


For one must hurt and two can’t suffer in silence.
For you to be free, I alone must go through this.


Keep your distance and I’ll keep my promises,
To keep you away from all this sadness.
Even though you and I, I wish could be;
I have to hurt you sooner, rather than later,
To allow you to be free.


Please accept this as fact and please accept my apologies.
Accept this is the way, things have to be.
Accept you’re better off without me.
Please accept my best wishes
And deny any feelings you may feel.


For you can do better, have had better and are better.
You can avoid this sad sorrow, forever and ever.
You can find happiness, with someone who can be happy;
But I shall always get depressed.  There is no cure for me.


Imagine a dark mist, seeping into your skin,
Then you will understand what it is like to be loved by me.
You can try all you like, to make me happy;
But I’m a cancer of the heart,
So I won’t drag you down with this sinking ship.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Saw him coming in,
I folded my leg such that my knees touching my breast,
staring at him angrily,
He curled his legs around me
locked me between his thighs,
I was looking all around
except for his eyes,
I lose myself in those .
His fingers playing across my legs,
I bit my lips controlling myself,
His fingers now lost in my tresses, he murmured
babe I want to  share your load,
let me just take it from here,
confused I looked into his eyes,
he came closer
his tongue talking to my lips,
I slipped a smile
again we both  lost in our world of love.