Why did it have to happen
What is it , I am supposed to learn from it ?
If my life wasn't perfect already
Well now it's gone to ****
Walking around with a mask on
What used to be me
My uniqueness
What's that ?
No hugs Stay away
No going out
No rock concerts
That was what keep me alive
That's what made it worth it ..
Not alone sheltered from living and laughing
Being with others
Going places
Enjoying being alive
Enjoying the beauty of nature
That's living
Talk about depression
I wonder why keep living
Alone and Depressed
I wonder why ?
What's this life lesson
What did. I do in a past life
to deserve this ..
Hmmm ...
© Jennifer L DeLong 10/24/2020

What is reality?
What is theory?

Sometimes four
Sometimes five

Sometimes both
Of them at once

Control the future
By controlling the past

Listen here, Oceania
War is peace

First, we'll give everything its due
Then say it never happened

Again and again
Until you believe it's true

Turn back the clocks
Countless ears who heard the restless call of spring
Will never dance to winters tune
The hands of time are stilled
For them the clock has stopped
On this year
And all others
This dying year
Has become a year of dying

I can't tell you the time I fell in love with love
Where I became crazed and I started to send wishes above
Where my heart first cracked, and I felt it's first attack
Where the walls that grew from the floor caved in and pressed up against my back

Oh, and I can't really remember where I actually felt free
Where I reached that lift off my shoulders and I met serenity

It's really hard to pinpoint these moments, and there's more that I haven't mentioned, but that doesn't mean they didn't happen, and that if they didn't they wouldn't.

Hopefully I one day can pinpoint my first real relationship
One that's mutual, forgiving, full of love, intimacy, and friendship
Where my wishes came true, at least the ones that matter most
And the wounds I suffered so, that they heal, or He'll turn me into a ghost

That the walls fall, and I finally feel my space expand
So that I can fill it with memories and things I love, making it a new land

That is what I would like to pinpoint.
I hope to see it manifest into reality.

On cool, starry, fall, indigo-blue night walks, it’s so beautiful that it’s hard to believe we’re mid-catastrophe.

That sunrise will dawn on countrymen whose heavy burdens our national leaders won’t even publicly discuss much less address.

File hope under other names - we need changes and new leadership - hey, you adults - can we please just try a government of concerned professionals?

I am building a shelter
here in the silence  

The pause between breaths
the moment when even my heart
gathers her rest, between beating  

I can’t stay long  

The scratching of pen on paper
a faraway helicopter
my gurgling belly
small feet running up the path  

I’ll come again
when I can

Sailing soft, frozen in time--
Sat on your chair where I could've sworn
I saw a past life regression flash along

Your face. Stuck there now,
I'm alone now and forever forth.
For years I stored half my cash into a box
without second thought
just to end up spending it all in six months.

that last crash erased all the academic pablum
that proved less required reading
  more distraction.

Just a border now,
head against an extending wall,
Witless and stonecold sober;

At ease with every unanswered craving
And coexisting with a life where nothing goes
   according to plan.

Its been 4 years since I have been on this site many new changes both here and in life.

I own my own home a rental duplex at that. I got a new job with good pay and a union. I have been to the ER a few times for health problems but I wont sing the blues I'm still here.

Covid-19 breaks the US and world great depression 2021 is just around the corner.

I'm at the tail end of my 20's 30 is coming up fast so many things I have done. Yet so many more that may never happen will see about that.

HERE is for more tomorrow than yesterdays more bright sky's than rainy days  more pace and harmony for all humanity!!!!