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it's five am
&
the worlds just starting to wake up

but
this silly little heart of mine is still either asleep or numb
ive learned i can't tell the difference.
existential depression is just...wonderful.
when you just want to say im done,
but there is that one person begging for you to stay  
so you think about how happy that person will be without you in there life
but they dont see that
all you can do at this time is cry
your make up is running down your face
you cant take it anymore
you love that person the death and back but you cant take the pain
it hurts so bad
your write her a goodbye letter telling her how much you love you
then all you hear is the phone ring ring ring you answer it
its her shes crying telling you how much she needs you, how much you mean to her, how much she loves you, she is begging you not to leave her
your crying even harder
she made you promise not to leave her
and you said "i promise as long as you become mine
i wanted to tell her i never loved her
but i did and still do
i wanted to tell her she was noting to me
but she is everything to me
i wanted to tell her that i dont think about her
but thats a lie she is all i think about
no one wants us together
they say she brings me sadness and unhappiness
but they dont see she is my everything my heart and soul, my other half, everything i ever wanted,
when we don't talk it's harder to breathe,
you always cross my mind and  i still love you,
but...it's like you took my heart and ripped it into pieces with your smile,
it hurts that i know you happy with someone else but i'm still glad someone can make you smile better then i can
you cant have her forever....one day she will leave
you cant hurt her...because she mean so much to you
you cant protect her......because she wants you to leave her alone
you cant love her....because she wont let you
you cant hold her...because every touch she pulls away
you cant........help her..........shes gone.. :(
lost the one person that held me together
Leave me alone,
I do not wish to see anyone today.
I want to sit in my room
An let my anxiety waste me away
I want to imagine a life
That I will some day lead
When I'm out on my own, liberated and freed.
Free from oppression
Closed-minded town, school and friends
I want to make my own path: with no beginnings nor ends.
I don't know where I'm going yet, don't know where to begin
But I know I'll never apologize
Not for adventure, exploration or sin
I'll live my own life, don't tell me what to do.
So leave me alone today
The last person I want to see is you.
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