Take me somewhere nice..  Its dark and cold the winter is here..  This endless grey is making me dream again..  Dreams about you, dreams about yesterday..
Take me to the sun.. There is none here..  This endless black is making me sleep forever in the white night.. I miss my shadows playing in the light..
Take me with you.. There is no music here..  Silent and ghostly voices remind me that you are gone.. I miss your voice, I miss your song..

At long last you have come back.. But you now have color.. I can hear your voice (tears flow)..
At long last I feel free.. I flow into you..  We are together (Hands grasp)
At long last I realize it all.. How my suicide brought me to this place.. Death has brought you to me..

But only for a moment.. This is my punishment..

iTS OK TO SOMETIMES UNPLUG YOURSELF FROM YOURSELF..
a WELCOMED RESET IS SOMETIMES ALL THAT MOST PEOPLE NEED..
tO SEE THINGS THAT WE HAVE BEEN BLIND TO FOR SO LONG..
mOST TIMES I SEE IT TRUE IN THE RAIN..
lIGHTNING, THUNDER, MYSTIC BLUES ON THE HORIZON..
i WELCOME YOU TO MY RESET..
hOW I LOVE TO SHOW YOU MY LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN..
sWEET PRINCESS OF MY LIFE, LET OUR SOULS COLOR EACHOTHER..

Its those who have been through the hardest of times that I see create the most beauty..  I cannot imagine what you have been through..  But for you to create another universe means that you have gone through hell below hell..  And some how you have made it back.. Please welcome me to your creation..  Dear God she truly is a prayer..  One of the most least understood..  And she is happy.. Seeing her happy helps me create another heaven..

Among such structures was the  pools of creation..  The airglow here was ambient and beautiful beyond all measure..  This is where I set fire to all the stars in the universe.. I smile before I do so..  Signals and twilight fire flies fill the black void..  And there echoes creation eternal..  A nexus travals across forever..  Feeding colors to life..  To the eyes that will one day behold them..  This is how wonder is born..  I think of all this as I look to the stars.. I am just a human.. But my imagination is a GOD...

I have been in the shade far to long..  Even walking in the sun this darkness looms over me..  Yesterdays haunt me to a point of seeing no tomorrows.. I can still hear the bell toll its one note song..  It was 12,000 years later,  12,000 years of being in such shade.. That I finally saw the sun above this sky..  The ghost and dreams of my children have brought me here to this place.. A sun sized planet that is home to the divine gear..  A technology built by a higher being.. A technology that can take an immortal to the next realm, to heaven..  The divine gear will complete my star drive..  And there it spun.. Driving the life on this huge planet..  I knew I could not take it with me now..  As taking it from this place would end all life on this beautiful planet..  I could feel it calling to me.. I closed my eyes.. It begun to spin in all its divinity..  It made me see, feel, hear, and make real all of its dreams..  For the moment I moved throughout all of the universe, I saw what it wanted me to do.. Then I would be awarded the passage to heaven.. When I opened my eyes I felt different.. I saw things different.. I heard things different.. I felt things different.. Through the eyes of a God I could see emotion..  On my right hand there was now a tatoo of the divine gear itself.. But this tatoo spun within my hand guiding me on where to go next.. It was time to bring life to this vast dead universe..  It begins with me..  Heaven awaits..

The Lancer:  Life Lancer...
The final sweep through this once dead planet is done..  
This is my favorite part about this job..
I land in a desert lifeless, golden sand mixed with black..
This wasteland will come to life..
I look to the sky and see life reborn..
It starts with a magnificient spirial of colors as the atmoshere begins to awake..
I stand in the sand and watch this world come to life..
The first storm is on the horizon..
Deep blues among deep blues I swear the sky is the ocean..
All colors of lightning begin to arc the dead away..
The entire planet is quickly engulfed in the Ultra storm..
I can feel the planet smile again..
LIFE has become the apocalypse for the apocalypse..
Its time to leave..

Sunset.. the last colors of the day..
Fall to the silver moon as it bathes the newborn night in ribbons of haunting luner glow..
This is where I think of you..
Alone I am, dreaming while awake, forever driving away..

Sunrise.. the last weep of a haunting lunar princess..
Fall to the rising sun and its aura of shine and colors..
This is where I meet you..
Together for a day, remembering, holding your sun filled soul..

At last the final visit..
For over 12,000 years I have been building a machine..
The main purpose at first was to simply have this machine get me to point A to point B..
I discovered all the secrets and codes of the planet I had forever lived on..
The ones I had truly loved were taken from me..
Death took them away..
You do not understand lonelyness until all is gone..
On a planet where I out-lived all other forms of life..
I had forgotten some emotions..
Love being almost one of them..
As there was nothing else to love..
I did however loved that I missed them ..
But hated that I will never see them ever again..
You see I am forever..
I cannot die yet I cannot live..
It was then I had to have this machine somehow get me off this old lifeless planet..
To find what my thoughts had hope to build..
After 2000 years I had finally built The star drive..
I travelled from planet to planet adding on more and more to my Star drive..
I met other races, some beautiful, some horrible, some welcomed me while others wanted nothing to do with me..
There were times where I stayed at certain planets because it reminded me so much of home..
I travelled on through what is known as the Tao Nebula..
This Nebula made all of your dreams real..
I was with my family again or should I say the memory of them..
I got to relive these memories over and over..
For 200 years I did this..
Finally I was ready to leave when both my son and daughter came to me...
They had with them a beautiful floating gear of some sort..
They called it the divine gear..
It was then I thought of building something more than a vessel able to jump me across the stars..
I needed a vessel that could take me to heaven..
So that I could meet them again..
This was just the message I had been needing for so very long..
This sun sized planet is the home of the Divine gear..
This will be my final visit in this realm..
The Universe is just as it says..
Uni for only one..
And the verse for the spoken word of the creator whom built it..
This divine gear will drive me above and beyond it all!

Before the jump..  I have a song list.. I play it and the jump begins..  Its the best part of my mission.. Its then I know the mission is done and its time to jump.. I have songs that put my soul at peace and make beautiful memories float atop this mind ocean..  I remember times sweet and sad.. Times where some of the strongest emotions were felt for the very first time.. Like the time I fell in love.. Or the time I realised beauty in and of itself..  Those memories drive me forwards and backwords..  Im off to save your soul..  Or perhaps mine..

All along it was there.. The reason on why you and me are here..  The image was in the palm of our hands.. The lines there are the beginning and end to which we never truly start or end..  But some have learned to read the lines in their hands..  Thus transcending beyond this life.. The soul map of the hands..

There were 7000 of us left here on Earth..
At least 7000 of us that wanted to leave..
The true number is more like 250,000..
They want to stay till the end..
They feel we do not belong anywhere else..
As we depart for Eden I am sadden by the sight of a child that is waving goodbye to us..
So full of life and no fear of knowing..
She waves and waves with a grand smile and beautiful long brown hair that dances neverending in the wind..
I see the blue blazing Earth behind us now..
Although beautiful, the Earth has nothing on that little girl waving goodbye..
Onward to our new home EDEN..

Do not be afraid..  From the moment I saw you was the moment I truly knew beauty at its whole..  I have been moving through the stars for thousands of years.. That is your sun we are passing on by..  Such a young star..  It is truly no match for your beauty..  We are going to take a few light bounds.. I will bring you back home soon..  This is my sun.. Notice that half of it is dead..  But it does its best to keep shining..  The 12 moons are what sustain life on our planet..  4 of the moons also sustain life..  We start life on the smallest one.. It is called Lorasec.. There we learn to live and die..  The second move is known as Cesarol..  As we die our spirit transcends into a realm that only exist there.. Its what you call heaven..  The dark 3rd moon is known as Shadatos.. Its what you call hell..  There are many still trap there that do not know how to get out..  And the 4th moon is known as Divintis..  This moon is a mystery to us all..  No vessel can enter..  It is very beautiful, but again does not match your beauty..  This moon is a splitting image of your planet..  Today we ask if you would enter for us?

The cure is in the tone.. At the right tone you can cure all..  I found out how to do it last night..  But when I awoke I could no longer remember the tone..  This is when the tornados came..  From all over, from all directions..  But this time I did not run.. I see from above that the tornados themselves are writing on the earth..  They write symbols at first.. But these symbols soon make sense to me..  They are a mystical musical note that will cure when sang.. Each note does something different..  Simply looking at them I can sing the tone they represent..

We were to late.  Everything is gone!  All that was left was an afterglow from the weapon used to destroy the city.. The rumors were right.  They did in fact create a weapon of light and used it to shine away millions..  Amazing! How in just a moment the tied can be turned.. We were on the brink of taking over..  And now we are being shined away..  I do have to admit.. The afterglow is very beautiful..  The afterglow of death from light..

you always knew right/ about how you viewed things in and out..
you knew you would one day leave/ beyond it all, to observe and create again..
you knew it never ever ends/ it just seems to always begin..
you smile at the thought of it/ the first leap out..
you finally see it/your imagination has come to life..

mY OUTLOOK HAD CHANGED IN AN INSTANT..
Without hope for so long..  
And found in just a second..
I looked toward the setting sun..
For once I felt alive..
I walked alone in the night with this new found hope..
Oh where oh where did you come from?
I smile at the thought of knowing it was always there..
Never was I truly without it..
The music is beautiful to me again..
The color of your eyes light up my soul..
The rememberence of magic colors my aura again..
This nightmare is ending now..
I hold the hand of hope as we wake up together hand and hand..
I say goodbye to the void..
I say goodbye to the gray me..
I awake to a sun filled room..
The last image I have is that of the gray me smiling at me..
His tears were blue..

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can make you see galaxies!
I can ignite your skin like a small lightning storm..
I can pour out your soul and return it..
Time and time again..
But I will only do so if you let me....
The beauty of your waterfall fills my shadow with light!

The sun shines today.. No clouds, blue sky ocean above..  The day is wonderful..  And I am happy to begin it..  I never really knew how beautiful the day was to my eyes and soul.. I feel ashamed that we stole it long long ago..  Last night a mistake was made, or at least I think it was.  Perhaps it is part of the bigger plan, maybe I was meant to find out for a reason.  But it could simply mean I saw what I saw for a reason or by chance..  I question that because they or we have been to careful for so long.. The invasion happen long long ago..  I know that now because of what we are becoming and because of what I saw..  

There was someone here before us.  This beautiful blue blaze that shines from afar that we call Earth did not belong to us..  You see we were the invaders..  Humans.  We took this beautiful day from someone else's eyes and soul..  We had to believe that we were from here.. We had to somehow think that we never came from the stars..  It is built in our D.N.A to one day leave this place and invade another world and start this cycle all over again..  Thosands of worlds have been invaded by us..

What I saw that brought me to this revelation was one who was here before us..  She told me and explained to me what we truly are..  She told me what we have forgotten about ourselves!

When I got dropped off the first thing I noticed was the floating islands passing on by..
They all had this blue windmill that would spin with a beautiful light at its center..
The windmills were soundless..
They did not wisper a noise at all..
I then turned around and noticed I was on a floating island myself..
I then looked over the edge  of this sky island and saw the clouds below..
I wanted to see what was under them..
My sky island seem to read my mind and took me below the clouds..
There were millions upon millions of people everywhere..
They were running after all the sky islands with their hands to the sky..
They were all screaming out " TAKE ME"!!

The little white orb moved from room to room.. showing me the sadness and happines of ghost..
  But for small moments like this mean the biggest of answers..
To such questions I only asked when I was on the otherside..
I found truth where it later had to be cut out from existence that truly did not exist..
Or did it?
What I found where answers inside the fire..
Even more so when there was nothing left to burn..
I pulled branches off of dead trees and continued my midnight fire..
Just for a little longer..
The words came to me there..
The white orb is real..
It has always been there..
  In some form or the other..
And I smile because I know of the existence outside of this realm..
  I wish there is some way for me to show all of you..
But you will all see what I see soon enough..
Or later.. (SMILES)

I have found myself thinking of the end.. weather it will be darkness or light.. I often think of the music that helps me write.. How someone else's creation helps me create new ones.. But I am only left to wonder.. My dreams have been showing me a heaven from all different strange angles..  I really could not begin to describe it to all of you..  There are colors there that we have not yet seen.. There are emotions there that we have not yet felt.. These warm nights have been showing me a clear beautiful sky.. I sometimes speak to the stars because I know something out there hears me..  I truly hope I am forever as well as the ones I love!

Oct 12th 2016:   The day filled with beautiful beautiful oranges after the passing of a horrible storm..  I suppose God paints these oranges in the sky and atmosphere as a starting point for the relax time that has been long overdue..  "I'll just color it all orange for now and rest the colors.."  My brother and I found it a perfect time to pull out the bikes and ride in the cool the storm has left for us on these hot summer days..  And of course its time to ride through those huge lake puddles on the road!  

After a day of bike surfing we both rode home with hamburgers on our minds!!  The sun was setting and the night was being born..  We rode in right before dark..   Our mom made us the most awesome cheese burgers!  After we ate we went into our room to get down on some videogames.. Both our phones were going crazy with notifications and we both decided to see what all the fuss was about..  

The first thing we saw was pics of the moon..  At first I thought they were a different moon but it turns out it was ours..  We both went outside to see and sure enough our moon had changed.. It was a bit darker colored and had a strange glow to it..  The next strange thing was that the sun was starting to rise again! Only it was rising in the west were it had set before!  

The news was going crazy with this as people started to panic everywhere..  Some experts on t.v shows said that we were looking at the otherside of the moon.. Through out the month there were videos poping up on facebook of people doing strange things..  There was a kid in a town not far from here that could turn himself into a bird..  New flowers were starting to grow, flowers never seen before..  Strange things were happening..

Videos were pouring in on all the new things being found throughout the world.. Some sisters in japan found some faries flying around a river.. A family found a colony of little people in and around the mushrooms growing in the back yard.. Many strange shrines were also appearing..  This day is now called, " The turning of the moon."

I have been visiting the outer rims of heaven..  Seeing first hand the memories that live again in this place..  Only toward the end I realize that I have to leave and I cannot stay.  It is sad but at the same time I carry with me the new memories of a heaven that I never knew existed.  Suppose everything is as real as you want it to be..  Suppose you cannot break from such a lucid loop.. You go round and round reborn with no memory of the many yesterdays that have long passed.. You live and die again and again.. Soon this world will be to full with those who do not know how to pass on through the outer rim.. They see it a dream...

The time machine used to take you back has indeed already been invented..  Look upon your bed or where ever you may sleep.. Behold your time machine.. When you go back and change things you do in such a way for a different stream in time... Although you awake in your stream you will find that you changed your someone else's time stream...  I have already changed the stars in many of my travels..  I have also seen that in doing so I have created a second universe..  Tonight I create a third..  So what we have here is a time change.. A ripple created by me, from me, to me, at the very source of me..  We begin from one and guide him to heaven infinite!

The path made of me.. The soul within that becomes the energy engine that drives this beautiful soul filled Bike of the 9th universe..
I travel on the belt of Athena.. This is where stars are made and sent off to be born among those whom have the pleasure of gazing at their beautiful luster.. It is also the place where stars still shine even after thay have long faded into the blackness spirial abyss they roll on..  My lightcycle, soulcycle, Emotion engine machine streaks me across the cosmos..  I transcend my dreams and become the rider of the new universe.. I cross on over my heavens and pass all that emotion could ever feel..  This moment I see inside my Lightcycle the formula of creation..  Life rides with me.. Where ever I may go.. Because now I know how alive even a beam of light is..  My Lightcycle shines STARFIRE BLUE..  The creation.. The music..  The love..  I feel all of you here..  Watch me blaze! Watch me Blaze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was what was left.  Adrift at times and sometimes in route to nowhere..  It took billions and billions of us to finally realize it all.. Or at least it grew tired.. Among the expanse beyond,  it decided to one day stop here.. It built around it a tangent place..  A place it could touch and feel.. Through this place it grew at random..  No sort of real order..  And then the first 2 became many.. Many became to much.. And in the end the many tore down this beautiful tangent it created for itself..  It resides at the core of this place..  It has experenced love, and hate, hope and despair, happiness and sadness, laughter and anger..  Thus said the dead bodies float among the beautiful cosmos in this system..  Where it has tried many other times to try and get life right..  But it seems to be failing at the moment..  And the reason it is failing is because we have discovered it..  This beautiful heavenly machine at the earth's core.. This machine with a soul..  Our should I dare say with the ability to make one..  But the question is,  Who built this machine?

The sight of it is so beautiful.  Its what beautiful is to me.. Its how its described to the eyes if there was no word beautful..  But I ask myself why am I seeing this? And what is it? Let me describe it to you and the circumstances that must take place for me to see it.. First and foremost I must be asleep and dreaming..  Many times the dream takes place in the past but sometimes in the present and very seldom the future.. The sky in my dream is all black with no stars or moon.. Just a black shadow filled sky..  There above is a lone cloud.. Its white even at night but begins to turn gray.. Lightning then fills and dances within it.. But this is no ordinary lightning.. The bolts and arcs of lightning are all different colors within this lone cloud.. Each bolt does not create thunder but rather creates tones.. Like a song cloud singing from the black skies.. The tones are even more beautiful to the ears and surpass the beauty the eyes see..  This lightning color filled lone gray cloud gets bigger and bigger..  I then float above my dream earth alongside this aura of colors and lightning..  What I am seeing is an idea!  It is an idea that I have had all along inside of my mind..  As this profound unknown idea grows within my subconscious it will one day storm upon my dreams and flood on over into my waking mind..  Ill bring you all back.. I promise!

There are some moments that become still..
In a sense they become a time stop..
If you need me please tell me..
I am at a flux in time where I can meet you for the first time yet again..
Where I see you for the first time yet again..
The sight of you helped me invent the universe..
And I want to invent it all over again..
It was your eyes where I saw the need for galaxies..
But what I am really asking is what did I help you create?
I'm willing to go back and try to see what you saw in me..
I tourment myself with such understandings..
Because they are in no form understanding to me at all..
Is it all real?
This is more vast than me..
At least I will think so when some day I will realise it all..
Imagination really does scare me to no end..

I set fire to a random bush and found some stairs underneath.  I went down and had to pay for the door repairs!!  ****!! I had 250 rubys and was on my way to get the blue ring.

The night was clear with a dreamy sky. The kids were in the back of the truck. They layed on their backs and saw the trees and street lights run by. That is until we drove out of town and into the country. Stars called to my kids eyes like flowers on a spring day. 

On our way home there was to huge flash. The next thing I remembered was waking up in the grass and then seeing my truck flipped over. I screamed. Both my children were dead. 

I held them both. For hours all I could hear was their ghostly voices. In my mind I said all the prayers I knew over and over again. And then there was the flash again. 

When I opened my eyes we were inside of a clear room. I layed my kids down and stood up. I walked toward a window and saw the earth below. 

I turned back to look at my kids and saw that some creature some thing had picked their bodies up and had them floating beside it. I tried to tackle whatever it was but found I could not move.

The creature then placed 2 color filled orbs on my children's bodies. There were strange sounds and chimes. Every vein inside of my kids bodies seem to be filled with light.. it was beyond what beautiful could describe. Their bodies got brighter and brighter. The creature would look at me from time to time with its white eyes. 

Both my children's bodies were as bright as the sun. Then I saw something enter their bodies from outside this room. Both of them stop shining. And then they opened their eyes. 

Once again there was a flash and the three of us were back at the truck. I then heard a voice inside of my mind. It spoke 2 words.. " I'm sorry"

I awake..  For the moment its dark..  Then the light comes..  Slowly this place makes itself real to me..  And if I am seeing what I am seeing I know that I have finally let go..  It felt alot like the spring.  A beautiful comfort in the air kept me warm and cool all at once..  I begin to walk and notice the flowers..  How they are there to simply look beautiful..  I let go some more and am able to smell the atomoshere.. Its as if the rain just finished kissing the earth..   Then my memories flood on in!  My eyes water at the sight of her! She is here..  I tell her I love you so so much!! At this point I am lost to this amazing technology! Not able to tell what is real anymore they break my link.. I am lucid once again! My eyes still filled with tears..  You see I am a product line tester.  This new tech and invention is called Soul-Cell..  And I was its first user..  By God! Tears still ran down my face..  What you people have made is simply heavenly..  And I have one question.. Did I just visit heaven?

Sunny days really never change..
But yet I remember them diffrently as a kid..
They seem to hold more magic..

Moonlit nights really never change..
But yet I remember them diffrently as a kid..
They seem to hold more luster for the soul..

I remember you asking me what my favorite color was..
I smiled and said storm on the horizon blue..
It was then you smiled back and said that was also your favorite color also..
And that you described such a blue in the same words I did..

I see a storm coming in from the north..
Those blues remind me of you..
I wonder if you feel the same..
The magic is still there..

I stare into nothing yet again..
And I see it all before me..
Your face, your smile, your eyes, your naked body..
Sweet memories of the heart..
How you light up my soul..

I stare into the passing by landmarks..
I forget I pass them by..
Yet again I see it all..
Us walking in the sun, us holding hands in the park, us laying together in the day gone by..

I stare into the stars above..
Just for a moment, just for you..
I see it all..
You leaving me, without sadness, without remorse, without you missing me..

How you drown my soul my sweet..

Another warm campfire..
I lay again on my back and watch the smoke mix in with the fog..
Under dead trees I think of this endless journey I have been on..
The smoke and fog have a beautiful mixture to it..
Like a ghost that does not know he is a ghost..
I sometimes wonder if I am just that..
Maybe I died long ago and just wander this hell..
Not to far off I notice an owl in the dead tree alone..
He or she flies off into the fog..
To them the world is the same..
Nothing has really changed..
I dream that night under the smoke and fog..
I dream that this dead forest is alive again..
The trees are filled with white owls..
They all look to me and fly off..
As they take flight they turn into the fog..
I also see smoke..
Its coming from the piles of people that are dead..
I see myself in the pile on top..

Campfire under the storm clouds..
I lay on my back and see the smoke and lightning..
Sun dried creek welcomes the storm..
But its all flash and no rainfall..
Blue blazing sky..
I walk alongside this thirsty creek..
This world gone mad..
I walk aimlessly alone..
I awoke this morning to an old song playing in my dream..
The lighting above was the electric strings..
With every arc there was a musical note..
And the thunder sang the lyrics to me through the smoke..
I hear voices not to far away..
They turn into screams..
And then into begging..
Someone has died..
For someone to live..
Which is why I travel alone..
Always leaving..
Never arriving..

Every now and again there is a street light. Most my walk is done in the dark. I feel wicked things watching me from the trees. But that's all they can do is watch. 

My dog angel walks beside me fearless. She will follow me into hell if need be. She barks and growls at the wicked eyes that watch us. She chases the ghost away. 

Another street light shines over the star filled sky. As I walk on by not afraid of the dark.

this never ceases to amaze me..
although i have seen countless souls do such a thing it still dazzles me to no end..

the part of the soul you see light up and glow is because this person was just missed by someone..
our technology has not come close to such sense and aknowledgement.. i dare call it magic! but don't quote me on that..

and now here is the someone that misses the other.. notice the soul glowing in the same region as the other.. same color, same radiance, these 2 people are truly soul mates.. fascinating!!!

how i have always yearned to have a soul.. it is all that is left for us to study in this universe.. we have been doing it for a thousand years and have not discovered a way to make a soul.. all we can simply do as of now is observe in awe... this will conclude todays class..

Hello John..
Mr Phantom its been awhile.."
Do you remember what I am here for?
Of course!"

Lets see Phantom, Phantom oh here it is!"
Three bottles of Jack Daniels, And two Crown royles..."
And peppercorn spice, ground pepper, salt, course salt, cinnamon, and garlic spice."

Cash or credit Mr Phantom?"
Cash."
Thank you sir always good to see you.!"
Until next time soon my friend.

Sozen, Log 1212< Earth : On my trip back I am delighted to have Earth on my path home.. I always stop by to get the best drinks in the quadtrant alongside the best food flavoring one could find.. I have not yet found any place that can make such delights!! I will arrive planetside in 12 days...

Careful.. This is a perfect size.. The rosebush is at a perfect size. Well done..

Bring it into the Sub-med ..

There there now child.. This a rose, A rose of the Planet Earth.. Take a sweet breath and inhale its scent.. This crimson rose heals the blood.

i FEEL BETTER! tHANK YOU DOCTOR!
your very welcomed.. but please thank the star-drifter for getting your rosebush...
tHANK YOU STAR-DRIFTER!

I was able to obtain white, red, orange, and yellow..

The yellow bush is the smallest.. It has bloomed one very small rose.

Good take the white bush to the sub-med in the east leg.. There we will use it to heal the blind and deaf..

The yellow will go to the south leg, there it can be used to cure nerological problems..

And the orange to the north leg.. We should be able to grow those who have lost limps and muscle strength with the orange roses..

Did u come happen to see the Blue rose..
No, I searched and searched.. I could not find them..

What does the blue rose do doctor..
It is said that the blue rose can bring back the dead..

I will stardrift again next month.. I will do my best to find it..

BASED ON TRUE EVENTS:


One evening in the fall my mom took my brother and I to get some food..
We wanted fried chicken so she took us to churches chicken..

We went through the drive through and noticed right away that a brown chevy nova was in front of us while a white ford pick-up was behind us..

I was in the passanger seat, my mom was driving, and my bro was in the back seat..

My brother had a drink with him and he moved up in the middle of the seat to tell me and my mom something..
He spilled the drink onto the front seat and my mom and i tried to avoid getting wet..

In that 3 seconds we all noticed it at once what had truly happened..
The chevy nova in front of us was now behind us while the white ford pick-up was now in front of us..

3 seconds they switched spots.. all 3 of us noticed it.. this is not impossible if the time suited it correctly..

this means the white truck would have to reverse all the way around the restraunt while the brown chevy nova would have to drive all the way around.. i still can not explain it till this day..

Behind her all the stars fell..
the sky was full of wishes..
but all i wanted was her..
everyone one else can have the wishes..

What I can give u is simple love. I won't let go. This sun will then only burn for u and I. I can wonder about your face. I can smile at the thought of ur smile. Even if I am blazing through the cosmos I still cannot find any form of beauty that comes even close to your naked body.. oh that view makes my heart skip beats and makes me forget to breathe for a moment in your absolute beauty. I thank you always and my soul wispers to yours that I am in love with all of you......... and forever will be..

i had seen this old indian outside alot..
he was moving rocks and digging holes here and there..
i asked him if he needed help..
he spoke in indian to me but i more less knew he said "yes please help me"...

i did alot of the work for him..
his old body could no longer really move or lift some of the rocks he wanted to move..
we followed this strange old writing in some old piece of cloth which he seem to understand..
the old writing was like a diagram or map on where to put these white stones we were moving..

i wanted to ask him why we were doing this..
i try to use sign language the best i could..
his answer was a pointed finger to the sky..
as i was done putting the stones in place the old indian dug up one last hole..

he then grabbed my shoulder and pointed to the top of a mountain about a mile away..
then he pointed at the hole..
i more less understood that the final stone had to be on top of that mountain..
so i made my way up..

much of the rock on the mountain was more of a red color..
let alone the mountain was not to hard to scale..
there was only a few places where i really had to climb..
finally when i made it to the top there i saw it sitting there..

the white rock seem out of place up here..
i gathered it and put it in my pack..
i look down toward the indian in hopes he was looking up at me..
then i saw what we had been doing..

the white rocks we were placing in the ground created a symbol that was on that piece of old cloth..
this final rock would make that symbol complete..
as i headed back down the mountain the wind begin to pick up..

the wind carried a smell of atmoshere (rain) it was quite nice..
my little adventure back down seem to stir up a storm on the horizon..
as i finally made it back to the grounds i noticed the storm almost above us..
there i saw the old indian fully dressed in a beautiful head-dress..
his face painted with black and red..
although old he still looked like a warrior!
he then held out his hands and i gave him the final white stone rock..
It begin to rain as he placed it on the final spot he had dug up..

The symbol was complete..
He then signaled to me to come to him..
I went to him as we stood at the center of the rebulit symbol.
He then pointed to the sky.
I looked up and saw the sky light up..
Lightning then danced all around us!
I was scared at first but saw that the stones were absorbing all of the lightning..
Then a sound alot like thunder came from the clouds..

The clouds seem to open up as i saw these strange lights emerge from inside the storm..
A vessel of some sort hovered above us..
I was in absolute awe!
I could not speck and was suprised that i remembered to breathe..

A person or something waring a head-dress made of light came from the vessel..
It took the old indian inside the vessel and then away back into the storm clouds..
There was then a surge of lighting once again and all the white stones flew into the air and seem to wisp away in all directions..
I know I saw what I saw! But till this day no one believes me..
I am now in search of all the white stones and have been for the last 50 years..

tHERE once was this little flower..
sHE was just as beautiful as all the others..
bUT the only difference was that she was very short..
aS people would pass on by the taller flowers would spread their pedals and catch the people's eyes with their beautiful colors..
tHE little flower would also spread her pedals and show her colors but no one could ever see her because she was under all the others..
sHE became sad and started to look down toward the ground..
oNE night there was a glow under all the flowers..
tHE glow shined up from the ground and onto the little flower..
tHERE was then a gasp of air that came from this small little race of people as they laid their eyes on the flower that looked down..
tHE little flower was then happy as she showed her beauty to the little people below..
tHE tall flowers tried but were to tall for the little people to see..
tHAT little flower was the most colorful flower of them all..
aND its all because she was shorter than all of the others..
nOW all tiny people far and wide come to see the tiny flower that looked down at them..

The lines go to the same place..
They are drawn out by belief..
But some lines do not travel straight..
Some bend and turn..
Some even break..
This is the sadness of your God..
At times I could always see my line..
It was not to straight..
But i could still see where it was going..
Where it was drawn out to go..
So why am I mourning..
This is the sadness of your God..
My line one day was fading..
Yours seem to shine so very bright..
As if it was destined to shine over all the others..
A sort of outline to follow..
The perimeter of your belief..
Where your line was solid mine was hollow..
This is the sadness of your God..
The mistake we made was our love we made..
This painted your line in absolute..
With the color of regret..
To your God, The sad one who cries on me..
Because I belive in him now..
I have the sorrow to prove it..
My line will never shine or be lit..
This is the sadness of your God..

i was finished.. i had done what needed to be done..
revenge is mine..
redemtion is defined..

my journey has been long..
everything lost..
i have no one..

i was weak..
all i had was love..
but it was no where near enough..

hate with no pity..
weakness its food..
and that night weakness filled their hungry stomachs..

i gave my soul to my shadow..
i let it take over..
it all started when my shadow said hello...

Those deep brown eyes.. Put my soul into a coma.. A coma that let's me visit heaven.. I'm yours..

I welcome the needed candles during the storm. Where the true light shines upon thy face.. we make these shadows run in all directions with our eternal flame..

From the letters of my family.  Ancestors stay:  Toward the mid summer of 1986 I am the family member chosen for the stay.  There is yet to be a letter that documents a normal stay of night at the house Sirs..  But I find myself very ready for such an event.  As to why my family never breaks such tradition is beyond me.  I do not understand such trials.  I suppose it makes us feel we are important to a world that seeks out the normal viewing of life.  I welcome the stay..  I begin my first hour in reading all of the family letters written about this place.  I read under candlelight.  

The first took place in July 5th 1886:
Ben S Olvanas:

Strange..  The way the light shines here..  Its not like back at home..  Where all at once light takes over a room in an instant.. Here light moves at a much slower rate..  Amazing how light pushes darkness away..  It seems to do so but in a very gentle manner.  It protects the darkness. It does not want to vanquish it.. The darkness also does the same to the light.  They truly make love to eachother..

Somewhere else..
This makes me cry..
This is where cruel souls control the living..
Its the place you see..
It turned them into such hate..
It crafted out of their pure shadow,  a darkness that will never run away from light..
This is where it begins..
And it scares me to no end on how random the choices are to them..
On the random souls they pluck from the light..

I send to you random messages..  Some of you will get them..  Some of you will ignore them.. They are my thoughts and dreams.. Ill show you what I see..  And they are all real to me.  A sort of memory from the otherside I suppose.  This is just the beginning.. And I smile at the thought of it all!