We are
Just flesh and bone
But you
You are the sun on my skin

I was ready to be done now
And I never wanted to be ready again
Ready to be ready
And not done
I’m tired of them
Putting their hands
And words all over me
I’d rather be alone
They take up my time
To be free

Somedays I miss you so much
It feels like there is no one else in this world
To talk to
It’s been almost a year
I still think about you every day
I’ve forced my thoughts to be farther between
Because I know the amount of good
It does me
I wish I could stop putting you in the front
Of this in invisible line
I love you so much
Sometimes I close my eyes and I pretend
If I think it hard enough
You will feel that moment too

I can’t possibly understand how it could be anyone other than you
I thought maybe we finally had our chance
Our day beneath the honeysuckle
I miss you
Trying to figure out why you’d stop
Talking to me
I want to finally share that meal
So much time has passed and
I’m almost 30 now
Please call me
Please call me

Maybe she didn’t get her marriage
Maybe I ruined that
She successfully solidified her place in your life
She poured the cement around her feet next to you
She was able to put herself in all the places I wanted to be
And I guess I was okay with that
I had to be
But I missed you
And I missed you
And I missed you
And I will miss you for the rest of our lives
How can I feel that you aren’t happy?

I love you
And I miss you
And I love you
They are synonymous

All the decorations on his walls, were hung up by me.
I pushed the tacks in the wall, the ones you look at while you **** him.

Dillan, I can’t stop thinking about you
I just want to hear from you

“That’s life
Why would
It change now”
- still woozy

Though the setting may change

The background remains the same

I am mourning
Mourning that I won’t lay down
For you anymore

I am not supposed to be here
I am supposed to be with you
So please make it quick
Take me with you

She is the moon, the stars, and the sky
She stops time
And my eyes shine

She is quiet
She tries to disappear
But I see her

I see her
And I want to kiss her
be near her
For even one second

Don’t you know
That I know it’s you everytime
Please talk to me

I wish you’d call
A thousand times I wish you’d call
But instead I’m up at midnight
Making eggs in a basket
Thinking of you
How much I love you

Another six months
Another year
I’m almost thirty
And then I’ll be practically forty
Please, I miss you

If you could see how starving I am
You would love me

I love you
I love you
Where ever you are
In your car
In your bed
Kissing your girl goodnight
I love you
And I wish
That it was us
You and me
Me and you

I dreamt about you
I looked at you
And said
I don’t care what it takes
I just want to be happy
With you

Just enough to miss
But never enough to stay

I keep your shirt on the back of the couch
It smells like your house
You’d think I’d have kissed you before
I don’t even know what you taste like
But I wish I did

I’m begging you to find
The time
To call me

Hear ye
Hear ye
Two sham marriages
Instead of one happy one

Small things only mattered now
We take pieces of ourselves for granted
I am telling you
When you lose chunks so big
A quiet night in
With small conversation
Is something special and dear to you
I wish I could give you my eyes
To see what I have seen

But then maybe
You'd just give them back to me
I think that's why most of the time
I would rather be asleep
Small things only mattered now.

Intrepid followers
For
The blameless god of love
Giving their hearts for sacrifice
For their chance
To be eaten up

If I could dial you now I would
A speed dial situation for sure
Remembering a voice is so strange
Isn’t it
I remember your life and the way you say certain phrases
There’s no one else I’d rather be having a full hearted conversation with
Don’t make me wait until
I’m a raisin the sun

I wonder why
Everytime you had a chance
You didn’t run home to me

Hey Dill
I miss you

I waited my whole life
Slamming myself
Into brick walls of passion
Instant heat
Burning me up

And then I met you
I lit a candle in my finger tips
I melt
I drip
For you
I slowly burn
For you

And it’s 100x sweeter
Than the boy who
Made me feel something once
Because you make me feel something
Every day

I can beat you
At your own
Little game
Happy family
Happy life
Who can be happier without the other
Why are we doing this
Come back home

Things would never be the same as they had been
Not yesterday
Not today
Never again

But I think, I would love you forever
And when the wind blows past
I will remember the way you wrapped your arms around me

Hurt and hurt and hurt
Until you can’t breathe anymore
And then

One day
It dissipates

But sometimes
You never stop
Missing them

There is no rhyme or reason
For why I met you
There is no bigger picture
But ****
You made my heart ache
And I wish I made you feel that way

I love you so much it hurts
I fold back into myself
I fold over and over and over
Please let me hear your voice

I don’t trust you
Not as far as I can
Throw you
Which wouldn’t be far
On a account of your being
6”3
and my being
5”4
But I miss you
I miss your arms
And the way you scooped me up
I miss you longer than the longest
Days or nights
Every poem is about
Missing
You

So he is as gentle as the sun

Gentle rising

Gentle setting

And how you loved to watch him rise up

Just as you liked watching him go down

Heavy is how you sit on my mind

Tearing through every notion

That I ever gave you up

I love you

I love you still

Sometimes,

Every little thing

Gets

Under

My

Skin

I remember your cinnamon smelling bed
And your computer desk right in front of it
Blue light illuminated the four white walls around us
I miss you

I mourn for the girl who has become woman
I sort through old photos
She and I are the same
But her face has less wear and tear
No deep grooves
From furrows and smiles
This hangs around me
This air of bittersweet sorrow
How I longed to be her still
Naive, and unknowing

We love nostalgia
It’s why you
Read these poems
So you can feel despair again

Every expectation sits on all ten finger tips
how do you even
grab
one

Stupid *****
Huh
That’s what’s you said
I’ll show you why I’m the most intelligent
*****
In this room
No ***** you can grab
Me by

I feel nothing
I feel so far away
And then I think of your sheets
And your bed
And your skin
And the walls at night
Sliding in out of bed
All next to you
I can smell you

She’s there now
I wonder if sometimes
When her back is turned
Does she look like me
And that’s what you wanted

If you have time later,
You should listen to
For the first time
By Mac Demarco
If you are reading these
And you have the time

And I can’t tell you how many times
I’ve been a fool
Time and time again
When honey drips from a
Sweet
man’s
lips

I definitely
Want
To
**** her

That’s what he said
We lie in bed together

And I pretend like it’s ok
Ok that you
Only
Want to
Be inside
Of her

I like you
Ok
Is that what you
Wanted to hear

Yes
Yes
Yes

I’d rather live
Than die
I’d rather die
Than live
You can’t ask
The egg
How much he enjoyed
Being the chicken

Dillan
I miss you today
I miss you every day