There is a certain level of respect
You must carry for the person you built a life with
Experienced things with
But they will never be the one who pops into your head
When you read poetry about love
Or songs about things you can’t put into words
I’d move mountains
And split the sky
Just to be next to you

-please talk to me-

Rage burns inside me
It’s so easy to spit your own poison back at you
One way or another
It just hurts
Instead I sit here
Fire turns into hot tears
Rushing down my face
Burns ditches in lines
I wonder if karma is real
How do you continue to get away with this

Sometimes
I forget
I forget who I am

What I want
What I like

Oh,
How I miss being
Near you

I’m the same artist
In every different stanza
You see different people
Different women
But we are all the same

I don’t feel like
I have a seat on any bus
There is no slot
For me to fit into
Where do I go?
What do I do?

I hope my gaze
Is burned into your brain
So when you and her
And
Her and you
Are in that space
You hate yourself

I wish so badly,
To not know small things about you,
Give me something that makes me dislike you

Ive been exhausted
I’ve eat the dirt and
I’ve drowned before
I almost died
Maybe once or twice
But I’m still here
I’m still here I could appreciate
The sun, the moon, and the stars

Waiting for the day
I look back on my own words
With disdain
Instead of longing

So you think
You make me weak in the knees
But really
I’m just trying to
Carve as many names
As I can
Into this tree, I am
Wittle away at me

Are you as sad as I am without you
I won’t say that I’m without joy
Because I do find certain moments
But nothing
Nothing compares to how I feel
When you say hi to me

Today I miss you
Tomorrow I might not think of you again
It’s been on and off lately
Which is much better than always on
I love you
I miss you
I miss the way you were always there
Small moments are the ones I never reveled in enough
Even though I thought I was soaking them up
I find myself staring in the mirror
I hope we meet in another life Bryce
And I hope we get to do it right in that one
The love I have for you is enough to bring me to my knees when I close my eyes

Because I wake up in the morning
And start my day thinking about you
Somewhere between packing lunches
And taking Gabriel to school
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night too
I think you must be somewhere there
Me on your mind as well
I will never be able to love anyone else the way that I love you
The worst part is being able to move on, knowing nothing will ever be good enough
Nothing will ever be the same
Nothing will ever matter as much
I have moved on to focusing on my sons life
To get him to his happy place
I wonder when I will look up and see my own wrinkled hands
Even then, I know I will miss you
That’s what breaks me, knowing we will go from old to young
It makes no sense, you are my soulmate you know
Even after all this time, even after all these years
It’s all the same, how I feel inside about you
All the dust you kicked up, has settled
And I know now that you see me there too
It’s why you can’t help yourself
Please call me
Call me call me call me
We can talk and be full

Nevermind
I take it all back

Thinking of you
Always thinking of you
When I close my eyes
I can feel you close yours too
And for a moment
We are together
Missing each other

It doesn’t matter if I can’t see you
hear you,
or even speak to you sometimes
It could be 8 years
Or 1 year
And I always feel the same
You bring me to my knees

I miss you today
I miss you every day
I love you and I say it out loud to myself sometimes
Growing up makes me want to put sticks in my eyes
Because it should all be easier than this
It should be easier for me to see you
And I wish we could go back
To the camper
Sitting outside
Talking for hours
But this time instead of being an idiot
I would go to the back with you
Lay down in the room
I really love you man and I miss you
And I miss you I miss you I miss you
The more I say it, I’m just trying to drill it in
I hope you can hear it

I miss you so much
I’m begging so badly I would pull my heart out if you need
Give me a chance
Let me talk to you
Call me please
I can not stop thinking about you

I open my eyes and
There you are in my mind
Can’t I please hold you again

And then
things go back to normal
regularly scheduled programming
Regular, every day
Mundane things
With the sharpness of a blade
I think about your hands
How big they are compared to mine
But these are seconds inside of
Large moments
-I will always miss you-

Breathe
Grit your teeth
Move on
Try to not listen
To the sound
Of the nails
On the chalkboard
Breathe

He’s lying next to her
While dreaming of me
And
My bed is cold

I keep trying to talk to you
Reach out to you
How long will it be this time
Another year
Maybe 5
I love you

Woman
Mother
Daughter
Wife

Pictures play
For each word
A box is created
Without hesitation

Jam yourself in it
Make them all smile

Just another day
Kick back
Wait six more months
And
We will be cool again

That’s usually this goes

You’re unhappy without me
I can feel it
So
Why don’t you just
Come home

And be thankful you are alive
Because
Without you
They would have never met at all
If it hadn’t been for you
He’d still be getting married
And they would just be coworkers

And in either scenario
You realize
With or without you
He’d have gone on
Life would have gone on

There isn’t at least one moment
Where I don’t think of you
On any day
Even when you are away

Call me
Call me and I’ll answer
Just like I always have
Call me

I wish I loved you less
And I loved
me
more
I wish I loved myself the way
I loved you
Or I loved anyone else
I wish I could
Do that

The sun rises
And you think of me

-this is a fact of life-

Do you come and go
Because it’s hard for you
Is it hard to talk to me
And think of everything we could be
Because I’d be with you
In anyway I could

I am trying not to change
In the way rocks remain forever
Only weathered
I am made of flesh, bone, and blood
But I am still finding pieces of myself
Blown away

I didn’t want to be here
I didn’t want to be anywhere

Escaping in my head
Into every pair of eyes
I found
Myself
Lost in beauty
Lost in love

Focus, Focus
I couldn’t focus

My skin burns for you
Even if you don’t think of me
Your gaze turns me to

Speak to me again
Speak to me one more time

Pathetically I scramble and scrape
Any reason to have you look in my direction

I am on the edge burning for you
Your lips like fire
Dripping with flames

Think of me again
Think of me one more time

Can I make your heart race
Like you make mine?

Call me

And if you aren’t careful
Love will eat you up

How do you not feel this way
Anymore
How did you just close the
Door?

Before I slip away
Again
Underneath my own skin
Tell me
You love me
You love me

Before I push you away
Again
In front of this monster
Hold me
Hold me

I’m okay
I’m okay
Until I’m not

I like you
Ok
Is that what you
Wanted to hear

Yes
Yes
Yes

How’s making it work
Going for you

You could have said
You don’t want me
And don’t flatter yourself
I didn’t do what I did
Because of you

It’s five am and I’m thinking about
How I use to be sad if you departed
without giving me kisses
Now we can not even get through
One phone call without
Being at each others
Throats

I just wanted to know
Why

Forgive me
If I repeat the little details
I’m trying to cram in as much as I can
While I still have the time
I try to say everything but
How much I’m in love with you
How much I wish I could drive to you right now
Share some time with you

I could get to know a thousand more
Fascinating people
But they aren’t the flint
To the steel in my heart
Ready to start a fire
I ******* MISS you

Sometimes
I sit here in the silent moments
And I live in the mornings
I could have shared with you
Coffee and jazz

But that wasn’t for us
Was it

I got a tattoo
Of a honeysuckle today
To remind me of you
And that
Rainy
April Day

Today I don't want to open my eyes
But I do
And the world still remains the same as if I never had