Oh,
How I miss being
Near you

I won’t talk to you again
Atleast not until I graduate
That’s what I keep saying
Five months

It’s been over a month
I still ache for you

I feel nothing
I feel so far away
And then I think of your sheets
And your bed
And your skin
And the walls at night
Sliding in out of bed
All next to you
I can smell you

She’s there now
I wonder if sometimes
When her back is turned
Does she look like me
And that’s what you wanted

Sometimes
Sometimes I miss you so much
That I think I’m not gonna make it
I don’t know how I’m gonna
Get through that day without talking to you
But then I do
And the sun rises
And the sun falls
Somehow I keep doing it all

I miss you
In a way so deep
It’s woven into me
It has its fingers so deep in my soul
I yearn and yearn for you
I wonder when we will
Run into each other
Again

I had not even looked at anything for months
Then I wrote about you four days ago
It’s almost like I knew

You are the love of my life
The most intelligent
Amazing
Funny
Human being I’ve ever met
And nothing comes close to
What we had
Not even a whisper
You are my soul
I was sitting at this red light
Thinking about all the moments with you
And how good they were
I can’t stop missing you

I thought of you today
I thought of our moment in time
Our moment in space
I played our song
I think of records
Sunshine and coffee
The life we could have had
If they had let us

It’s five am
And I know you’re sleeping
I’m wide awake
Memories of you dancing
In my head
Making love
Laughing
Feeling so whole
I miss you Dillan

Give me a sign
Let me know
You are listening to me
Please
I won’t say anything

I am under your finger tips
Trembling for you
Your name escapes my lips

Rage burns inside me
It’s so easy to spit your own poison back at you
One way or another
It just hurts
Instead I sit here
Fire turns into hot tears
Rushing down my face
Burns ditches in lines
I wonder if karma is real
How do you continue to get away with this

I'd think of the times i'd often have something imperative to say
Not often
And so was it imperative?
imperative to speak?
"sometimes, people just want to know you love them"
it's exhausting keeping up
At this point in life,
I value the people who understand me and
understand my lapses of silence
I have nothing to say

If you have time later,
You should listen to
For the first time
By Mac Demarco
If you are reading these
And you have the time

The only man
Who never called me names
Just stayed by my side
And celebrated

I open my eyes and
There you are in my mind
Can’t I please hold you again

Call me
Call me and I’ll answer
Just like I always have
Call me

That’s it
Isn’t it
I’m here
You are there
And maybe in a few years I’ll see you again
But it’s unbearable to think of
It comes crashing down on me like a tidal wave
I could fall to my knees and
Beg god to hear your voice

You won’t say it
You won’t let me know
But I know
You are thinking of me too

I miss
Being
Home
With you

I miss putting
My hand
On your face

Everything
Feels so wrong

You there
Me here

I don’t want
To know
That you and her
Are there in that space

I wish
I wish
I wish
You wouldn’t stay

I don’t know what to do
I can’t stop thinking about you

Think and think
Drink and drink
So you can’t anymore

I hope you are reading this
In fact I hope you save this
Sometimes I think about kissing you
I think about our bodies pressed against each other
Big hands gripping my thighs
It’s the first night I brought you back to my apartment
We are on the little couch
But it’s more than that
I think about how
Heaven
Met
Earth
In between
Our thighs

I missed you
I thought to myself in my kitchen, candle light beating against my face
As it flickered
By and by
I was still allowed to think about you
In the lonely hours

Memories moving
Like movies
Flipping fervently
Trying to
Find you

So you say go

And the words crash to the floor like glass

So many pieces I cant pick up

I could be half way around the world
Looking at the most breath taking things
And then it hits me like a train
I miss you so much
It makes me ache

Give me one day of peace
One day where you don’t
Cross my mind

I wanted to be the falling star,
In someones pocket,
Never to fade away.

My skin burns for you
Even if you don’t think of me
Your gaze turns me to

Speak to me again
Speak to me one more time

Pathetically I scramble and scrape
Any reason to have you look in my direction

I am on the edge burning for you
Your lips like fire
Dripping with flames

Think of me again
Think of me one more time

Can I make your heart race
Like you make mine?

How are you there
And I’m here
And why
Why do you want it this way

I love you baby
I love you
As long as the longest day
As big as space
Growing and changing
Expanding in new ways

I love you even when you are far away
I close my eyes
And I love you
I love you so much

Loving you is like faith
I can’t see you, hear you, smell you
But I know you are all around me
I wake up and feel you enveloping my space
I wish you knew how much I endlessly and eternally loved you

There is a certain level of respect
You must carry for the person you built a life with
Experienced things with
But they will never be the one who pops into your head
When you read poetry about love
Or songs about things you can’t put into words
I’d move mountains
And split the sky
Just to be next to you

-please talk to me-

I dont care what time you come home tonight

Or if you call me

My heart knows that you

Lie

Lie

Lie

You are a liar

I love you so much it hurts
I fold back into myself
I fold over and over and over
Please let me hear your voice

When you read my poems
Does it feel like your talking to me
If you close your eyes right now
Can you hear me
Whispering in your ear
Can you remember what my voice sounds like?

Last night I dreamt
We shared a meal
And you were smiling
I was smiling too

I just want to know
Why I wait
Wait wait
In this life
Too

We are just sitting around day dreaming
Missing each other
Aren’t we
I miss you
Can’t explain how I can feel you
Thinking about me

So it goes
The same song
Repeating
Repeating
Repeating
In my head

I forget it
I forget you
White noise

I know things
I’m not stupid
I know that,
Two plus two is four,
The sky is blue,
I have two feet,
Ten fingers,
Ten toes,
I know that you,
You tell lies,
More than you tell the truth,
I know that about you,
So when you sit here and say,
It’s different this time,
Why would it change,
Something I know.
The sky is not purple.
I do not have fifteen fingers
And two toes
And you,
Hardly tell the truth,
I know that.

Intrepid followers
For
The blameless god of love
Giving their hearts for sacrifice
For their chance
To be eaten up

Goodnight
Sleep tight
Don’t let
The bed bugs
Bite
I miss you
I love you

You are strong
And yes,
you feel weak right now

But, you are strong
Nothing will wear you down

I miss you, I love you, I miss you, I love you
Talking to you is something irreplaceable
My soul lights on fire with simple words
And I’m reminded
I’m never alone with you here in this world
Even when you are silent
Isn’t it a fact that we always find each other
I love you, I miss you

I could get to know a thousand more
Fascinating people
But they aren’t the flint
To the steel in my heart
Ready to start a fire
I ******* MISS you

Is that you
Calling me from
Unknown numbers

Or am I dreaming

I mourn for the girl who has become woman
I sort through old photos
She and I are the same
But her face has less wear and tear
No deep grooves
From furrows and smiles
This hangs around me
This air of bittersweet sorrow
How I longed to be her still
Naive, and unknowing