The truth hurts
So I prefer my beautiful lies

That rose had nine inch spikes
It took me months to get pricked

My heart was happy
So she just had to crush it

The flower said i wish i was a tree
The tree said i wish i could be
A different kind of tree
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive deep into the sea
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that is a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on it
And in the sea there is a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on it
And the flower would be it's offering
To the desert so dry and lonely
And the desert so dry and lonely
So that all the animals apreaciate the effort
The rattle snake said "i wish i had hands
So i could hug you like a man"
And the cactus said "well don't you understand,
My skin is covered with sharp spikes
That'll stab you like a thousand knives.
I'm sure a hug would be nice
But hug my flower with your eyes"
The flower said i wish i was a tree
The tree said i wish i could be
A different kind of tree
The cat wished that it was a bee
The turtle wished that it could fly
Really high into the sky
Over rooftops and then dive
Deep into the sea
And in the sea we have a fish
A fish that has a secret wish
A wish to be a big cactus
With a pink flower on it

I feel like my chest is going to explode
with all the good things you make me feel
I don't think I can find any words
To explain this
other than that I am helpless
when it comes to you

the words 'make me better' erupted from my throat
he said he could not
i wept

I am so stupid
I've checked my phone
5 times in the last 60 seconds
And I jump
Every time it lights up
Hoping it's a message from you
I've tagged you in 10 posts today
Thinking that maybe
You'll see them and message me
I am so stupid

I dont yet
want to define
what we are
with a single word
like
"together"

We are soft
and caring
We hold eachother up
when the other would have fallen
We are within eachother's heart
day and night

That is more than
"together"

your ex likes your tweet and you can feel yourself spiralling into the ******* abyss, your body is turning to dust and all that will be left is the thought that when someone says "emily" you still see her face

My soul is ****** out
Through my soft lips
Down your throat
You seem so content
With it in your posession
I can't bring myself
To ask for it back

I keep writing messages and deleting them
and writing and deleting
and hoping I'll gain the courage to send one
to tell you how much I still care
how much I still hurt

There is heartbreak ahead
I am bracing as if it will come
like a hurricane aboard a ship
There IS heartbreak ahead
and yet i still stumble
into your open arms
and wait for it to tear me to shreds

you are everything
and
i am some things

My love does not fade
I force it away
I refuse to play
This children's game

My heart is ******* pounding
just for you
just because the word baby slipped out of your mouth
and wrapped around me in the sweetest way
boy
you got me feelin a certain way

I write so that
maybe for one more day
my outsides will hold in my insides
because they aren't so heavy now

Tell me
Tell me how i got so hollow

The earth longs for my bones
With each passing day its hunger grows

I remember the last conversation we had
you were hurrying to get it over with
but i was taking in everything you said as slow as i could

I've been thinking a lot about how many mouths have touched yours lately
and how
mine's not one of them

My heart aches for lucifer
and all the love he could have known
if he had only been shown forgiveness

I'm grasping on to any little bit of nothing to hold onto you
And my palms are sweaty and my fingers ache
but I can't let go yet

I would give everything I have
for you to be happy
my possesions
the body that holds me
my very life

I can feel no selfishness
while wading in your sadness
waist high,
suffocating at the thought
of your tears

I loved them
and you know how i know
because i feel this ignorant tightness in my chest every time i see them
and I feel this pointless emptiness every time i remember they never loved me back

I don't know
If my words will be strong enough
to describe how much
I want you

I want to scream about how hard I'm trying to surface
even though it feels like the entire world is pushing me down and down

It just keeps getting harder to breath

I can feel it consuming me from inside
It's tendrils wrapped around my crumbling heart
Ripping sobs from my throat
It has made me weak

I press a palm to my throat
where i feel my heart beat hardest
thinking
maybe a gentle hand will calm it

I'll be ****** If I let History forget you
Those firey ringlets tucked behind your ear
And those ocean wave eyes
The galaxy of freckles across your shoulders
Your gentle smiles and knowing glances
I could cry to think that some day they may be erased
You'll live on forever in my words
Immortalized forever in my heart
That I've splayed for the world to see

Im so mentally unstable right now
---
I just want blood
I want hands pulling my limbs from their sockets
I want to rip the hair from my head
And dismember every digit on my two hands
To have my intestines pulled from my body hand over hand
I want to be lying dead on the floor in a mess of parts you can't tell is me

I dont want to know far the depths of my love for you go
because all I know right now is that I want to put you safely away in my heart
and keep you there
and that alone scares me

I love you
to the moon
to every planet beyond
the little rock that orbits us
to pluto!
to the next galaxy and the next
to a whole other universe
to a dozen of them
to the edge of time and space
and all the way back to my head
on your chest
where i can hear your heart beating
i love you

I don't think I know what love feels like anymore
Since all I can gather of it
Is equivalent to amputating your leg
Without anesthetic