Wearing songdance
Long time ago
Weaving a picture
Motion-slow

Grasping the nature
Of the unknown
Stumbling, falling
On the hard floor

Words, what are they?
Abstract objects in mind?
Fears? Seem so heavy,
But are rarely right.

Strange debates
One perceives
But it depends
On what one believes

Once projection
Takes over one's mind,
Chains reaction
Makes one real blind

And disconnected
In the abyss
May one still be able
To call life a bliss

Beauty may differ
In stranger's view
Mountains may move

If love is true.

Lost inside
Fractions of mind
Consciousness split

Bubbling up
Unhealthy impulses
Hurting

Hurting
Hunting
Hating

Conflicting parts
No peace
No bliss

Paralyzed
In a dissociative
Circle

Let me out!
You have to endure.
Every feeling

So I am enduring
Breathing
Numb

Opening one eye
Hate. Closing it.
Opening another eye
Lust. Losing it.

Never opening both eyes for too long.
Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.
Searching.

Reminder?
How to connect with myself
When there are 100 parts
Within me arguing.
Unpleasantly.

Who am I?
Who was I yesterday?
And an hour ago?

I am fear.
Afraid to lose control.
I am freedom in disguise.
Lock me up.
Hide me in those woods.
Tyranny.

Being is survival
Existence a struggle
When you fight.

So stop.
STOP.
Stop fighting. Now.

Comparison is a painful death of wisdom.

I allow the flow of love to find me today.

How to be free
How to be me
I need to find
Myself

How to pursue
What's made for you
Still not forgetting
Health

Hell what is this
I am nowhere
Can't find it
Have to fight

This promise
I gave to myself
I need to stick to it

For my own soul
On my true own
Find myself in the deep

Just watching to see
Just coming to breath
Just listening to be
Just living to explore
What is behind that shore?
Each moment brand-new
For me and for you
All roadmaps abondoned
I am on my own
Being guided by NOW
Seeing what's gonna show.

Trust forever
An impossible mission
Whenever I am trying
I simply fail miserably

Can't imagine to break free
Without to lose connection
Two parts within me
Split apart forever ?

Dreaming
Such romantic dreams
All the time
It's all in my head,
It seems.

Without your arms
Sometimes I'm lonely ,
Without your lips
My lips get dry,
Without your eyes
I'm feeling cold.

Without your sighs,
Without your voice,
I just hear silent noise..

My thoughts are rebels
Without you,
My words feel meaningless
Because just yesterday
You have slept in my room
And now all that I see is
Emptiness and lack of you.

Actually
Aching
Endlessly
Making
Stories up
Maybe
I'm a sick..baby

Only me and my mind
In a beautiful space
Only me and a feeling
That I welcome, embrace
I relive it, believe it,
Take it into my arms
And I think to myself
This is how we do arts

I refuse to believe
That my life will always be
A fight

Fight against emotions
Fight against fears
Fight against tears

I refuse to believe
That my thinking will stay the same
That I'll have to keep playing the old game
Of repetitive patterns
With escape and avoidance becoming my second name

I see it and breath in
I step out and breath out
I step into my own body
Awarely choosing
What I want to believe.

I am capable to soften the edges.
To go from perfectionism towards connection.
To speak and act more from wisdom and love.
I am able to believe that I am truly enough.
Changing the paradigm one breath at a time.
I made self-guidance the new paradigm.

You're a thief
You're stealing all my thoughts
You're a butcher
Tearing me apart
You're my muse
For you're my inspiration
You're my alarm
I wake up to your vibration
You're like space
So huge but not to see
You're the sun
You're blinding me
You're my favorite song
It's your voice I hear
This flowering fragrance
When you appear
You're the one for a dance
And to give a kiss
You're the one to love
You're the one to miss

You're my reason why
And I'd have to lie
If I said that it's over
For me

So tired
The baby next to me
Is loud
I'm worried
The thoughts
Run a marathon
And it goes
On
And
On
And
On
And
On
My heartbeat racing
My mind is tracing
Every fear,
That could come near,
It's more than insecurities,
It's rather severe.

I'm anxious on the train.

Stale
I have gone stale
On the inside
Failed
To connect
In my mind
I reject
Disappointment
Lingering,
Drowning
In those halls of whispers,
Which I condemn,
Wanting to leave
Leave
Leave
Leave it all behind.
All at once.

I feel groggy
On my way
My mind is foggy
But bright my day

For if I am honest
I like to tell stories
The ones which end up
In a fairytale

I am the captain of my life
The decks are colorful
Avoiding any kind of strife
I use my special tool

I use the light
The happiness
I choose to fight
And not to rest

Albeit
I can't forget your face
Your smile's dynamics
Your magical eyes
The love you give
The warm, the bright


The decks are shaking
My mind is breaking
I'm losing control
Over my own soul
It's trembling, it fears
As if it was panicking
Fighting with tears
But those are the joyful
The beautiful ones
They are a part of
Something tremendous
Of something so real
That it hurts

The captain stands straight
He isn't afraid
His hope doesn't fade
He tries to adjust
The balance the faith
The love and the trust
To sort out the voices
The signals the settings
That are covered with dust

He feels quite dizzy
The heart is uneasy
Albeit his soul still
Desires to feel
The warmth on the inside
With hope as the starlight
Remembering moments
To help him get out

As he is addicted
To the powerful might
His eyes turn grey
His heart fills with fright
Still sticking to something
The adrenaline
His mind and his soul
And his heart
In between

I can't calm myself
No can't
There is something in me
I don't understand
I just want to get home
To forget?
Too much
It blocks out everything
I am tired, worn out
Miss my health
Have to find a way out
Times and times again
Don't forget to smile
Don't worry and don't cry
Times and times again
You deserve to be happy my friend

I deserve all the love I get.

The present moment is my guiding light.

No other way
I can explain
Inevitable
Beauty's on its
Way
I need it
It's right
Every night
I can see the light
That guides me
It is not purple or
Baby blue
It is rather red
With dark attitude
It has a certain
Background
But this is simply
How I found
My way to be
My way in me

It is safe to stay connected to my body in the presence of another person.

She's deeply disappointed and angry as it seems
She lives in a land of broken hearts and shattered dreams
Unfortunate for me to be her mirror
I wish it was something that helped her see clearer

How hurt and abandoned one person must feel
Nobody to love her and help her to heal
She doesn't see nor her sorrow nor grief
The manipulation is her only relief

I don't want to pity her but
Want to feel compassion
I must admit for me
It's challenging as well
I try to be as present as I can

I'm paying my respects to all these survivors
I have struggles explaining how draining it feels
I feel worry, sadness and anger for
This land of broken hearts and shattered dreams.

Strange
Emotions
Call
Strange
Thoughts
And stay
Not knowing
Where to go
Or what the purpose is
They either question things
Or set up a confusion
And in the end
I realize that
All those thoughts
Were an illusion

this is my conclusion

How to undust
My real
Spontaneous self?

I'm so afraid to
Show myself

It seems impossible.
It's stuck in my throat.
My breathing gets shallow.
I smile fake smiles
I'm sad and still don't cry those tears.
My soul screams.

There's a decision to make
I gotta make it straight
Always look on the now
Never look back somehow
I am analyzing too much
Don't feel free to keep in touch
Heart is worried, feared of breaking
Heavy is the breath I'm taking
It was long ago that I
Lost my truth up in the sky
Every sparkle, it depended
On the stars that you made shine
I hoped that love never be ended
But how to know without to try

He
He is
He is so interesting
I was impressed
And I laughed

I am capable of making healthy choices for myself.

Tell me
Why
Tell me
Why
Tell me
How
I don't know
Tell me
When
Tell me
What
Tell me
Who's gonna show?

Whilst I am looking at those beautiful
actresses,
time is flying by.
Whilst I am worrying about those
wrinkles,
time s flying by.
Whilst I am dreaming but am constantly afraid to try,
time... is... flying…. by.

Whilst I am sitting here, believing in tomorrow,
I close my eyes successfully to the internal sorrow,
I’m frozen and slowly it dawns on me
that time is flying by, it’s taking its toll on me.

My fingers are cold typing these words,
I’ve always wanted to learn some new chords,
And when will I join that sports club finally?
When will I see that
time will not fly by infinitely?

Perfectionism is so far away from reality.
Embracing this moment is more than enough.

We rise and we fall
Together it's all
That matters to me
I want to be free

We rise and we fall
Together it's all
That matters to me
I want to be free

We rise and we fall
Together it's all
That matters to me
I want to be free...

There is nothing wrong about aging. We all have been aging since we came to life. To exist means to age.

I stand by what I say. I am building my way.

Love yourself
Love everyone
Love life
Love being
On your own
Share love
Share hope
Share happiness
Be loved and love
Cause that's the best!

I admit that I am worried
I admit I think too much
I admit to be ignoring
Some strong feelings
Cause they touch

I admit I am not trying
To distract myself at all
I admit to be so grateful
For the feelings that I got
I admit to be admiring
You and just my love for you
I admit that now I'm trying
To make you think about it too

When we communicate and we don't feel seen - we may tend to intensify and overemphasize certain aspects. We identify stronger with them which makes them seem insurmountable and unchangeable. This is when we try to prove something.

Phone-diction
Became a conviction
Everyone is bound
Without exception

Phone-world
Offers no restriction
It's a convenient space
No eviction

Phone-time
Equals the injection
Of dopamine
There's no rejection

Phone-crime
Doesn't yet exist
Each year a new smartphone
Seems hard to resist

A phone back in time had this function:
Connection,
These days oftentimes - it's the opposite action,
In search of warmth, love and appreciation,
We lose ourselves in phone-solation.

I am
Simply
A
Human being.
And everything I am
Belongs to me.

Being
Imperfect
Being
Jealous
Being
Angry
Being
Healthy
Being
Silent
Being
Thirsty
Being
Dull
Being ...
Being ...
Being ...

A part of the crowd.
I am.
And all of this is enough.
And all of this is plenty.
And all of this makes me
A normal human being.

Sounds of laughter
What a joy
Sounds of sadness
Not a toy
Laughing hard
At someone's bad
Keep an eye on you instead

You don't have to force anything.

This pride
This time
That you
I found
However
That happened
It's marvellous
Thanks God
Thank you
I thank myself
This great achievement's
More than gorgeous
I know, I've known
Not always
How much
I appreciate
You and me
But the real
Feelings' touch
Shook me up
Irresistibly

And I felt nothing but fear
And I didn't know at all
How all this could disappear
And I didn't want to fall
And I couldn't tell myself
What I did want and what not
I need to find myself again
To be alone on my true own

And there's a mountain in front of me
A mountain of work, of disarray
A mountain of delights is behind this one
I can only see it when lights are gone

The mountains decrease
Doesn't change anything
There always will be a new mountain within
Cause I create em they're a part of the game
You don't need to care
You don't need to pay

Just carry them, carry!
So heavy around
Just think of it think!!!
Don't let them be drown
Stop thinking then stop
But how can I how?
To drown an own thought
Is like suicide, feels wrong
But you can decide
So do yourself a favour
**** pain.
**** the heavy
The hard life endeavor

Didn't know about it
Haven't expected these outcomes

Didn't know about it
Haven't expected these outcomes

Didn't know about it
Haven't expected these outcomes...

Let's immerse ourselves in this moment here and now.
For we don't know when this time may be over.
Let's feel it all and let go of our doubt.
Life is too short and our thoughts too loud.

Sometimes it's worth it to dive deeply into
Whatever shows for you today,
Take all you can, this moment is unique to you,
The harder you think the farther it may be away.

All people are equal. Are people. Are equal.

Just experience.
Experience what's in front of you.
See it. Feel it. Smell it. Hear it. Touch it. Taste it. No judgement. Pure exploration.

Let's put that phone away and stretch our bodies.

T-rust lost.
I-ronically hopeful.
R-espectfully alone.
E-ndlessly worried.
D-irty promises.