I wish I could hate you
And get rid of all these feelings
I wish I'd never met you
All it does is make me crazy
I'm an obsessed freak
I wish I didn't care at all
And that you never crossed my mind
Rather than constantly be
My number one thought
It torments my brain
I don't understand where my feelings stem from
You're not even in my life
Not even a little bit
So why do I always find myself
Sitting around thinking about only you
It's really not fair
I pray every day that these feelings may one day fade
It only cause me heartache and pain
I've never felt so emotionally dissatisfied in my life
It will be a miracle if this ever leaves me
But miracles can happen, right?
I just want to reverse back time
And never even learn your name
But I guess things happen for a reason
Now I'll never be the same

It's hard to say goodbye
But it's a whole lot better than living a lie

I'm no writer.
No artist,
No scientist,
No mathematician.
I'm not a genius.
No Galileo,
No Einstein,
No Freud.
I am who I am.
Weird,
Self-conscious,
Caring.
I may not be rich,
Or own an expensive car,
Or buy expensive clothing,
Or live in a glorious home filled with expensive belongings.
I am happy where I am,
With what I have,
With who is with me,
With my life.
I've learned that the most important things
Are not materials,
Not who owns how much of what,
Not how much smarter he is than she.
I believe the most important things
Are what we love,
Who we love,
And the love we have for ourselves.
And I believe
That believing all of this
Is what makes life important.

*jm

We smile at each other
and I lean back against the wicker couch.
How does it feel to be dead? I say.
You touch my knees with your blue fingers.
And when you open your mouth,
a ball of yellow light falls to the floor
and burns a hole through it.
Don't tell me, I say. I don't want to hear.
Did you ever, you start,
wear a certain kind of dress
and just by accident,
so inconsequential you barely notice it,
your fingers graze that dress
and you hear the sound of a knife cutting paper,
you see it too
and you realize how that image
is simply the extension of another image,
that your own life
is a chain of words
that one day will snap.
Words, you say, young girls in a circle, holding hands,
and beginning to rise heavenward
in their confirmation dresses,
like white helium balloons,
the wreathes of flowers on their heads spinning,
and above all that,
that's where I'm floating,
and that's what it's like
only ten times clearer,
ten times more horrible.
Could anyone alive survive it?

I see all this suffering, this pain and guilt
And I just can't stand to see it all, that's just not how I'm built
I'm built to hold, to comfort and fill
The empty spaces, to stop the pain and the ****
The **** of the everyday, the sufferer, alone
If that's who you are, I got one thing to say: that you're not alone.

I've had it so easy, so smooth in my life
My parents are in love, together, my brother's a student, my sister's a wife
And a mother to healthy, living child
I wasn't pregnant in high school, haven't smoked, drank, or ******
'Cause none of that's worth it, I don't need it, never have.
Not much in my life to hide from, to fear.

But I can FEEL the pain of loved ones and strangers, and whoever is near
When they're near to death of body or spirit
I can sense it, it makes me cold
Makes me want to cry
To steal the closest person in an embrace
When was the last time someone held you, and told you the sun would rise again
Or noticed how STRONG you are
You've made it so far
Don't you ever give up
Don't you ever stop trying
Don't you dare
If not for you, then for me, you can't stop me, I'll care
Care for you, even though I don't know you

Doesn't anyone notice
Doesn't anyone feel
All these PEOPLE around them
How afraid they are,
How tired they are every day
Won't somebody STOP it all?
These people are dying
Dying a little more every god ****** day
Isn't there something you can do?
Isn't there anything I can say
To make you believe
To make you understand how much I love you
How badly I want you to live
How I want you to prove to me that this world is still alive, still trying
PROVE to me what I already know

You are strong
You are loved
You are worth every second.

As his life gives way to silence
As you shame him with your eyes
All you think you feel is justice
You believe in your own lies
And when you lie awake in bed
You'll rest easy in the night
Because the record says you're innocent
And that all you did was right.
But have you ever stopped and asked yourself

Wouldn't you have done the same?
Wouldn't you have done the same
Knowing that you could take the credit,
Someone else would take the blame
Knowing all he'd said and done,
Knowing who you'd save
Knowing that you would seem a hero
To put one man in his grave.
How can you rightly blame him?
Knowing you would have done the same.

Pain is the wind.
It whispers all the things
you can't bear to hear.
You have no control over it.
It is free to pick up
and die down as it chooses.
Try to catch me it whispers
fleeting with a grin because it knows
you are subordinate to it's commands.
Try to escape me it breathes.
You are alone.
Nobody can see me
I am the only one here for you.
You should be greatful for me.
Look what I've done for you.
I gave you a home.
I'm the only thing you know.
And you know it's right.