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 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
y i k e s
Less than two years ago, you were my best friend.
We would stay up every night and talk, creating fictional worlds were we lived our dreams.
Two antipathetic, pessimistic kids against the world.
Running on little sleep, we'd create this worlds until we ran out of ideas.
Then destroy them and start over.

A year ago, things changed.
Like all good ideas, you run low on them.
So we stopped creating and talked about us, our life, and how we'd end up.
Hours on end, we'd talk about how we had no future, no path, and how we'd create our own.
But then something else happened, you made new friends that year.
I already had new friends.
They're great friends, I never had friends like them.
I'd try to tell stories about them like you did with yours, but you'd give me a 'cool' answer.
So I shut up.
They too meant the same to me that you did.
After all, you're my best friend too.
But like best friends do, I never left you.
I never could.
You were my best friend.

Less than four months ago, it was my birthday.
Like all birthdays, that day wasn't special for me.
Birthdays never are special to me.
I apologized for not buying you a gift for your birthday earlier that year.
My dad had lost his job last year and I'm low on cash
Plus, I'm not doing too good mentally, and emotionally.
You said it's fine, and got me a gift anyway.
With that gift, you wrote a letter.
You're not good with words, but you were saying I saved your life and I'm your best friend.
None of your friends get you quite like I do.
I cried, because for the most part, it's the same for me.

Less than a month ago, you stopped talking to me.
Our conversations grew into petty arguments anyway.
You never did listen to me.
I should've known you never did care from the way you never listened to me.
You would talk about yourself, and not care about me
And if I did, the answers were so vague.
okay, cool
But I still ached to talk to you.
I'll never know why.
Another thing I'll never know is, if I truly was your friend
How would it be so easy to forget me?
97% based off of true events.
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Ted Hughes
He loved her and she loved him
His kisses ****** out her whole past and future or tried to
He had no other appetite
She bit him she gnawed him she ******
She wanted him complete inside her
Safe and Sure forever and ever
Their little cries fluttered  into the curtains

Her eyes wanted nothing to get away
Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows
He gripped her hard so that life
Should not drag her from that moment
He wanted all future to cease
He wanted to topple with his arms round her
Or everlasting or whatever there was
Her embrace was an immense press
To print him into her bones
His smiles were the garrets of a fairy place
Where the real world would never come
Her smiles were spider bites
So he would lie still till she felt hungry
His word were occupying armies
Her laughs were an assasin's attempts
His looks were bullets daggers of revenge
Her glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets
His whispers were whips and jackboots
Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing
His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway
Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks
And their deep cries crawled over the floors
Like an animal dragging a great trap
His promises were the surgeon's gag
Her promises took the top off his skull
She would get a brooch made of it
His vows  pulled out all her sinews
He showed her how to make a love-knot
At the back of her secret drawer
Their screams stuck in the wall
Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves
Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop

In their entwined  sleep they exchanged arms and legs
In their dreams their brains took each other hostage

In the morning they wore each other's face
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Nothing
I Wish
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Nothing
You look in the mirror,
And shoot yourself down
With jagged daggers
Aimed straight for the ****.

You feed yourself absolute
*******
Because of what some
Pathetic
Little
*****
Told you
Lied to you about,
And maybe still do.

When the daggers hit you,
Straight in your heavy heart,
You take them to your skin
To feel the pain
Real.

You tell me that
Blood is pretty,
But i dont see it.
Only as yours falls
In teardrops on the ground
Leaving crimson stains,
Do i see how beautifully, disgustingly twisted
Your theory is.

Your mind
Is up and down,
Your heart a whirlwind of overpowering emotions,
Too fast,
Too soon.

Too much
Is how much you do it,
Id love to see those
Crimson tears not fall
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Lizzy Lo
She blamed her dad,
Or lack of one,
Who left when she was a little girl.

She blamed her mom,
And the men she brought home,
Night after night after night after night.

She blamed her school,
Who didn't understand
Why she didn't understand what they told her to do.

She blamed her friends,
Who left her, abandoned,
When she had nothing left she could give.

She blamed the stories
She read as a kid,
Tricking her mind with love and happy endings.

She blamed her first boyfriend
Who stole her virginity,
And left her: scared and cold and alone.

Se blamed society
And all it's minions
For casting her away like she was a freak.

She blamed the doctors
For lying to her.
Telling her she was okay when she knew she wasn't.

But most of all,
She blamed herself.
For being unable to give life a second chance.
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Jay
Burning
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Jay
Hush, my love,
I'm here. Please,
don't worry.
I'm always with you
even when I'm far away
and in deep slumber.
Please inch closer.
I dare you.
I'm sure then
we'd both be blushing.
Please,
push into me
how I cry out for
your warmth and the
feeling
of your skin
brushing against mine.
I'll kiss you
and I'll hold you
and in the dark,
I will always make love to you.
Even if it's just with
one another's words.
So, Baby,
how about
tonight?

I will always tell you goodnight with a kiss.
Last night
I was in your arms,
as your kisses
mingled
with smoke,
and your voice
whispered me a lullaby.

Tonight,
I'm alone with my thoughts
and my cold bed,
and my nightshirt
that smells like you,
and your sheets.

Tomorrow,
I'll wake
tired and groggy.
I'll need a cup --
or two --
to make me feel
even a little bit alive
like you do.

But tonight,
tonight I miss you.
© MAB September, 2013
"Smoking is bad for you."
But so are you.
I breathe you in
deep into my lungs.
You fill my head
with pretty feelings.
You're killing me slowly.
Each time we meet
you touch my lips
and dive right in.
You set my heart racing,
making it hard to breathe.
You're my vice.
I need you
even though I know it's wrong.
I'm addicted.
© MAB October, 2013
There is no pain
like
loving
without being loved.
Needing
without being needed.
Giving
without getting back.
There is no sorrow
like
the cool side
of the bed,
or waking up
to a dormant phone;
Passing couples
on the street.
I'm tired
and alone.
This penitentiary
I can't escape.
A constant desire
to have my hand held.
To watch your lips
part;
To hear you coo
my name.
There is no
bad dream
dark enough.
No night
cold enough
to compare to
what it feels like
to want you,
and not have you.
© MAB October, 2013
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