Cloistered manifestation
Candle lit veneration
Indoctrination it seems
The apocalypse of dreams
subtle degradation
emotional *******
a soul split at the seams

you whisper wicked words
pleasure and pain are blurred
subliminal hypocrisy
fingers slick I grip these beads
wheat and tares sprout from these seeds
twist the truth in a noose for me

formidible religion
this gospel of indecision
life bled out on your killing floor
render me defeated
my lesser gods unseated
wrath poured out I am no more

chant your litany of lies
This sinner you despise
clench that unread Bible to your chest
consign me to eternal shame
never again to speak my name
bury me with the rest
your religion is death
with my final breath
a means to an end is best
TLB 11/01/08

If I handed you the knife
Let you cleave flesh from bone
Spilling blood
And broken promises
Fragmented thoughts
Fall where they will
Would you crack the marrow
Leave me dry
Pain the only release
In pieces of me consumed
Death is a shuttered room

Singing Psalms
Your Pollyanna mantra scatters rainbows

And dirges to the troubled skies
Revel in the celebration
Of a slow descent
Skipping stones across poison water
Wings of paper cannot save you
From the fall
Rushing pulse in my ears echo
This empty shell
Illuminate my way to Hell

Screams in silence
Lady Desperation

Behind my weary eyes
Ties another knot in the cord
Hold on a little longer
Let the words
Fall where they will
Vain resurrection of the faithless
Pain is the only force
Along the course with me exhumed
Sanity is a shuttered room
TLB 012208
Sometimes there are too many 'me's' in my mind

© 2008 TL Boehm

Would you kiss me
Gently
On the back of my neck
My collarbone
Whisper soft
A feathers’ touch
Would you close your eyes
Breath to breath
Linger
Lost in the moment
Embracing each taste
Sensations
Sweeping down my spine

Stopping
Before the mundane
Mechanical act of *******
Leaving foreplay
For the desperate
Communicate your forever love
Not your temporal lust

Just seal me
With a kiss
Goodbye
To keep me
Until the time is right
For the two of us
To be one.
2006 TLB

So the world spins
Inner discourse thinning
In the wake of daylight
Muted blues shift crimson
And the halcyon light floods my vision
I remain saturnine
The inner tenebrae of my dusky soul
My personal shadowland
sedulous manifestos etched
across my heart
the tattooed movement
cadence of oblivion
stained by the purpura
Of bleeding dreams

Apollo rides grandiose
Careening orb obliterates the dusk
Yet my eyes rain
myriad tears chase themselves
forever obedient to that same gravity
leaving me face down
with nothing but wet earth
and seeds dormant
full of promise that never blooms
My heart in the darkness
Of a shuttered room

TLB 092308

I watched the mama's desperate
Wiping tears from babies eyes
I watched our old ones suffer
While our heads were filled with lies
From the safety of my dry land
I watched the waters rise
But my heart was torn and broken
Tormented by the cries
Of a city put through hell
While the hope of a people dies

I listened while my nation
Played a deadly game
Fearless in the face of creation
Too lazy to take the blame
While parents and sons and daughters
Died in the street without a name
Tides relentless covered families
But nothing washes away the shame
Still lives hang in the balance
Some things will never be the same

I feel the desperation
Of thousands of shattered souls
Who trusted that salvation
And protection was the goal
Now scattered, lost and lonely
Too far gone to ever be whole
And the sum of the lies they've swallowed
Is bitter poison that takes its toll

And yet I still believe
What sparks the heart of a man
Beaten down a thousand times
And yet the warrior stands
There's a place beyond survival
Where the spirit reclaims the land
I still believe in the love and life
Sparked in the heart of a man
TLB 082906

Pretty girl with stars in your eyes
And the world at your feet.
You never gave another breath about me did you?
You never thought about the consequences.
Sad little awkward one that I was
With my toothy smile
Face peppered with freckles and imperfections.
You took the first chance you got
Grabbed that ring
Drank that koolaide
Whatever the mechanism was
You swallowed faster than a desperate pledge at a frat party
You’re on that perpetual joy ride
And I am left alone
To drown in the gray desperation that is my glass ceiling life.
How can you breathe in the thin air of your rarified sky?
I think of you and I hate you
like I hate burying a kid’s first puppy.
You left me with nothing
But an open wound where my soul should have been.
You can’t come back
And I can’t rise above
This little existence I’ve dug out with my own jagged nails
Hell may be too good for you but at least I know
The monster in the mirror is more real
Than that illusion of angels
I thought I saw in your eyes. Love is a witch of a mistress
You taught me well
TLB 031313

You are never happy
Again, he chants the sad mantra
Of a life spun out in threadbare patches
Pain etched in weathered eyes
Gray green like late summer grass
Burned by the whirring blade
Again she says…if only we were friends
Under breath held to quell the deluge of
I can’t be your everything
Then anything
You ever were is nothing
In the soft blur of days that drip
Empty windows scarred with the memory of
Rain.
And I
Am so brittle
Harsh light behind your eyes
Hostility disguised as loving correction
The caress of fire on kindling
My petty dreams the memory of smoke in your lungs
Just breathe me in
Shallow
Ripples across this thin skin
Break the surface tension
I ache to be something more than
Empty words
Penciled afterthoughts in margins
Eventually illegible
In the steady decay of days
I am never happy
Lost in the transience of you
03/11/13 TLB

Lifting
Sweet summer morning
Silent before birds singing
Welcome sunlight rising
Slipping
Over windowpanes spilling
With the anticipation of daybreaking

I am listening
To your steady breathing
Softly snoring
Perhaps you're dreaming
Thoughts skipping
like stones dipping
Under cool water trickling
Toes skimming
Wavelets tickling
All your hopes surfacing
Love is believing
In you, knowing
Forever is in the learning
Two becoming
One destiny ascending
You'll find me whispering
soft secrets warm with meaning
between us nothing
more than this embracing
Sharing
This blessing
Of living
TLB 061208
From the vault of lost poems

I have a dream
The gentle tread
Cool marble beneath my feet
Sweet succulent scents laced in the lavender air
Velvet curtains parted
You there
Stretched out supine
A banquet of delights
you are mine
The rustling flutter of garments
Let them fall
Echoed wetness
Your hands leave their ghosts
On glistening walls
Cascading flurried ringlets
Tendrils of hair
Caught up in the excitement
Of you
And me unsullied
Pristine between Egyptian cotton
and whispers of skin
Place a kiss on the altar of we
This love begins
you know
I have a dream.
TLB
05/17/07

I have learned that blood and bone
Are no assurance of love
That the parents who should protect you
Forget you
In the wake of their own unspun lives

I have learned that the newborn life
Once cradled in my arms
Won't consider my sacrifice
In the wake of unbridled rage
Love is a hollow lie

I have learned that I am a monster
Murderous and cruel
Selfish and judgemental
Producing bitter fruit
That withers on the vine

I have learned that the world
Doesn't love a dreamer
War and tragedy churns
In the belly of Babylon
The meek are weak expendable
Casualties of circumstance
Destined for demise

I have learned there is no sanctuary
No refuge from the malice
Washing over me like sleet
On a winter day
My heart is cold stone
I am lifeless

I have learned that intoxicants
Only fuel the ache
magnify this emptiness with
shallow platitudes
The flavor of the day
Scraped off the spoon tomorrow

I have learned
I still don't know how
To give up the little dreams
In the silence of my soul
I gather them piece by piece
Hiding them from myself
For fear I'll do me harm

I have learned I should love myself
I have learned....I don't know how to love
TLB 05/20/08

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                   A Middle-Aged Sack Boy Yelling into Space
                      While Carelessly Loading the Groceries

“MAN, THIS WEEKEND I’M GONNA:

“CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT! TLB AMPLITUDE MULTI-MEDIA CONTENT! STREAM VAC STREAM PROFILE VISUAL DISPLAY UNIT SONIC VIBRATIONS IoT KERNEL ZETTABYTE! YOWEE! T-POS VM VE VPN HE DON’T KNOW RAM FROM ROM HA! HA! OS GL LOAD BALANCE LOGIC CATE BIT RATE ALAC ADC AIN’T GOT NO CHI FI IN MY SYSTEMS, DUDE! NT DAC MMORP G FLAC WAV MQA OGG MP3 AAC MQA PHASEY-DAISY DRIVIN’ ME CRAZY! PCM SHE BRAIN-TICKLES ME! OPEN BETA GAIN DRIVER SO SHE’S GOT THIS KID BY HER FIRST MARRIAGE TERMSYNC LOGIN BUT I’M DOWN WITH THAT SHE WRITES MY GRAPHICS CARD IF Y’ KNOW WHAT I MEAN HEH! HEH! AFB METAGAME CHEESE KONAMI CODE LEVEL! GAME MECHANIC BUFFED NERFED LFG LFM GAMERTAG!!!! XBOX CYBERFI SMOKE ME SOME PANAMA RED ELECTRON KOMMANDO! NEUTRON NUGGET PROTON PROTEAN A PRIEST A RABBI AND A WITCH-GODDESS TRANSPORT INTO A NEUTRON BAR SLIDERULERS OF THE UNIVERSE DON’T BOGART THAT BIOME AND THEN I GOT ME A WEEK’S VACATION COMING…!”

(Don’t forget the dog food)