“Set wide the window. Let me drink the day.”
― Edith Wharton, Artemis to Actaeon and Other Verses

Matapang, sino ang tunay na matapang?
Yung siga ba sa kanto?
O yung pulis na marami nang na-tokhang?
Hindi kaya ang senador ng oposisyon
Na laging bumabanat sa administrasyon?
O baka naman yung mamang komentarista
Sa radyo at telebisyon?

Saludo ako sa mga sundalo’t pulis na
Nakipaglaban doon sa Marawi. Walang
Sindak ang mga bombero na sumusugod
Sa nagngangalit na dila ng apoy.
Hindi matatawaran ang kagitingin ng
Mga nagpapakasakit para sa kalayaan
At kapakanan ng inang bansa.

Pero may ibang anyo ang katapangan
Na mas malalim at kahanga-hanga.
Ang katatagan ng puso at isipan sa gitna
Ng dusa at malagim na paghihirap.
Ang hindi pagsuko ng kaluluwang hindi
Kayang ibilanggo ng takot at banta ng paghihirap.

Si William Ernest Henley ang bayani ng
Katapangan na tinutukoy ko s’ya ay di nalupig
Kailanman. Hindi s’ya sumuko sa siphayo ng kapalaran
Hanggang sa huling sandali.

Pagnilayan natin ang kanyang Invictus:

“Mula sa gabing bumabalot sa akin,”

May mga kawawang nilalang na walang umaga
Ang kanilang buhay puro gabing madilim
ang laging umiiral. Walang liwanag, walang bukang-liwayway.
Mula pagkabata hanggang pagtanda puro hinagpis at pait
Ang kanilang laging sinasapit.

“Kasingdilim ng hukay na malalim,”

Maraming bangin sa buhay ng mga kapos palad
Na nakabaon sa dusa at hilahil. Hindi nila ito ginusto
Hindi kailanman pinangarap kaya’t hindi nila ito
Kailanman matatanggap.

“Sa mga diyos, ako’y nagpapasalamat”

Ang mga kawawang mahihirap at mga mangmang
Sa kaalaman na laging salat sa mabuting paliwanag
Ay laging nagpapasalamat sa diyos. Salamat sa diyos……
Hahaha….. walang diyos mga hangal. Kung may diyos
Wala sanang kahirapan at kaapihan na umiiral.

“Sa kaluluwa kong hindi natitinag.”

Katawang lupa lang ang sumusuko
Ang kaluluwa at pusong matatag
Kailanman ay hindi ito magagapi.

“Nahuli man ng pangil ng kapalaran,”

Ang pangil ng malupit na kapalaran
Ay laging nakabaon sa leeg ng mga hampas-lupa
At mga walang makain sa araw-araw.
Pero hindi nito kayang sakmalin ang mayayaman at
Ang mga burgis. Bahag ang kanyang buntot
Sa harap ng mga panginoon.

“Kailanma’y di nangiwi o sumigaw.”

Kahit sumigaw ka at ngumawa nang husto
Walang tutulong sa’yo, walang makikinig
Dahil bingi ang mundo at bulag ang mata
Ng panginoong mapagpala.

“Sa mga pagkakataong ako’y binugbog,”

Paos ang tinig ng mga inang mapapait kung humikbi
Mga pinanawan ng pag-asa at ulirat dahil sa pag-iyak
Walang saysay ang sumigaw – nakaka-uhaw ang
Pag-iyak magmumukha ka lang uwak.

“Ulo ko’y duguan, ngunit ‘di yumukod.”

Bakit ka naman yuyukod sa putang-inang kapalaran
Na walang alam gawin kundi ang mang-dusta at mang-api.
‘Wag mo’ng sambahin ang isang bathalang walang-silbi,
Lumaban ka at ‘hwag magpadaig.

“Sa gitna ng poot at hinagpis”

Galit at lungkot ito ang kapiling lagi
Ng mga sawimpalad. Malayo sa masarap
Na kalagayan ng mga pinagpalang sagana
Sa karangyaan at kapangyarihan.

“At sa nangingilabot na lagim,”

Nagmistulang horror house ang buhay ng marami
Walang araw na hindi sakbibi ng lagim, walang oras
Na hindi gumagapang ang takot. Takot sa gutom, sakit,
At pagdarahop.

“Mga banta ng panahong darating,”

Bakit ang mga walang pera ang paboritong
Dalawin ng katakot-takot na kamalasan sa buhay?
Ganyan ba ang itinadhana ng diyos na mapagmahal
At maunawain? Nakakatawa diba?
Pero ito ang katotohanan ng buhay.

“Walang takot ang makikita sa ‘kin.”

Tama si Henley bakit mo kakatakutan ang lagim
Na hindi mo naman matatakasan? Mas mabuti
Kung harapin mo ito ng buong tapang at kalma.

“Kipot ng buhay, hindi na mahalaga,”

Para sa isang lugmok sa pagdurusa wala nang halaga
Ang anomang pag-uusig at kahatulan na nag-aantay.
Impeyerno? Putang ina sino’ng tinakot n’yo mga ulol.

“O ang dami ng naitalang parusa.”

Parusa, ang buong buhay ko ay isang parusa.
Ano pa ang aking kakatakutan na parusa?
Hindi naging maligaya ang buhay ko ano pa
Ang mas malalang parusa na gusto mo’ng ibigay?

“Panginoon ako ng aking tadhana,”

Oo ako lang ang diyos na gaganap sa aking
Malungkot na buhay. Walang bathala akong
Tatawagin at kikilalanin ‘pagkat wala silang pakialam sa’kin.

“Ang kapitan ng aking kaluluwa.”

Walang iba na magpapasya sa aking tadhana
Ako lang hanggang sa wakas ng aking hininga
Ang dapat na umiral.

Si Henley ang tunay na matapang dahil kahit
Pinutol na ang kanyang mga paa, sa gitna ng sakit
At matinding dusa hindi s’ya sumuko. Ang kanyang
Kaluluwa ay nanatiling nakatayo.

I remember when I wanted to be
Anything and everything somehow
Now I’m starting to think:
Was that jus childhood or I am different now?

I haven’t achieved anything yet
I’m ordinary and average
I’m no one you’d remember
The world is not my stage.
 
Still, why do I feel I don’t need any help:
When it’s obvious that I do?
All those people giving me advice,
Why can’t I just listen to you?

Why does it take so long for your words
to sink into my brain?
Why can’t I see how much I lose
And how little I gain?

Why did I make myself this way?
Why can’t I make myself change?
Why can’t I just do it?
Why am I so strange? 

Why are there so many “why?” s in this?
I need to stop making excuses
Stop procrastinating and delaying
I should just get down to it.

There are things I need to do
I need to learn how to talk
I need to start listening now
I need to crawl before I walk

Today, I feel like I’m worthless
Tomorrow I’ll feel fine
I need whatever I’m feeling now
To stay inside this brain of mine.

I’m too young to be worthless
Too young to keep on crying
Too  young to even feel this way
Too young to stop trying

I just need to find the will again;
The will to do something great
Find it, Keep it and never let it go.
“I am the master of my fate” (Invictus, William Henley, 1888)

When you wake in your crib,
You, an inch of experience--
Vaulted about
With the wonder of darkness;
Wailing and striving
To reach from your feebleness
Something you feel
Will be good to and cherish you,
Something you know
And can rest upon blindly:
O, then a hand
(Your mother's, your mother's!)
By the fall of its fingers
All knowledge, all power to you,
Out of the dreary,
Discouraging strangenesses
Comes to and masters you,
Takes you, and lovingly
Woos you and soothes you
Back, as you cling to it,
Back to some comforting
Corner of sleep.

So you wake in your bed,
Having lived, having loved;
But the shadows are there,
And the world and its kingdoms
Incredibly faded;
And you group through the Terror
Above you and under
For the light, for the warmth,
The assurance of life;
But the blasts are ice-born,
And your heart is nigh burst
With the weight of the gloom
And the stress of your strangled
And desperate endeavour:
Sudden a hand--
Mother, O Mother!--
God at His best to you,
Out of the roaring,
Impossible silences,
Falls on and urges you,
Mightily, tenderly,
Forth, as you clutch at it,
Forth to the infinite
Peace of the Grave.

My mind was pulsing
with endless subtly shaded descriptors
and shockwave verbs,
when a pop-up alert flashed
red and yellow and blue…

YOU HAVE ONLY 9 WORDS LEFT !
ACT NOW !!!

YOUR LIFETIME ALLOTMENT IS 20,000,000,010 WRITTEN WORDS,
AND.........YOU HAVE USED 20,000,000,001.

ACT NOW OR LOSE YOUR RIGHT TO WRITE FOREVER!

BUT WAIT !!!!!!
  
COMPLETE THE SIMPLE FORM BELOW IN THE NEXT 60 SECONDS
AND WE’LL DOUBLE YOU TO 40 BILLION MORE.
IMAGINE ALL THE SHIMMERING ADJECTIVES, THICK NOUNS,
CLEVER ADVERBS AND PITHY PRONOUNS YOU WILL HAVE!!!!!!!!!

Panicking, I clicked on the form
and furiously typed …

William Shakespeare
10 Henley Street Village South
Statford Upon . . . . . .

The boy with the green henley, I’m in lust
And I must tell this story of the first day.
The beaming sun, the grass full of distrust
That first day was perfect and all of play -
Leaning over each other, talking of class
And of past fancies, our favorite candies
And we both know who has the roundest ***
I put on a little Daft Punk, dancies
Together - while, the sun left for the moon,
darkening the sky, pulling the two of
Us - with dinner and a second date soon
The two of us, snug as an older glove.
Closer now, the boy with the laugh like bells -
He won’t ever give me visions of all of the hells.

Lawrence Hall
[email protected]
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

        William Ernest Henley Never Owned a Snapper Lawnmower

                                                 Unsparkus

Out of the oil that covers me
Black as the pit of a president’s soul
I resent whatever flawed designs may be
With my unmechanical soul

In the fell clutch of a slippery clutch
I have often winced and cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of that son-of-a-Dutch
“I’ll junk this [mess]!” I have avowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of engine-part prices
And yet the promise of a case of cold beers
Finds me hammering again at these devices

It matters not how high the grass
How charged with prices the hardware store bill
I am going to whip this foul machine’s [self]
Or bury the [buzzard] in the nearest landfill!




Legal stuff:

William Ernest Henley, "Invictus," from Poems (London: Macmillan and Co., 1920): 83-84. Public domain.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is ******, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

GROWLTIGER was a Bravo Cat, who lived upon a barge;
In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large.
From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims,
Rejoicing in his title of “The Terror of the Thames.”

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please;
His coat was torn and seedy, he was baggy at the knees;
One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why,
And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye.

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame,
At Hammersmith and Putney people shuddered at his name.
They would fortify the hen-house, lock up the silly goose,
When the rumour ran along the shore: GROWLTIGER’S ON THE LOOSE!

Woe to the weak canary, that fluttered from its cage;
Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger’s rage.
Woe to the bristly Bandicoot, that lurks on foreign ships,
And woe to any Cat with whom Growltiger came to grips!

But most to Cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed;
To Cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed.
The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear—
Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear.

Now on a peaceful summer night, all nature seemed at play,
The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molesey lay.
All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide—
And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side.

His bucko mate, GRUMBUSKIN, long since had disappeared,
For to the Bell at Hampton he had gone to wet his beard;
And his bosun, TUMBLEBRUTUS, he too had stol’n away-
In the yard behind the Lion he was prowling for his prey.

In the forepeak of the vessel Growltiger sate alone,
Concentrating his attention on the Lady GRIDDLEBONE.
And his raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks—
As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks.

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone,
And the Lady seemed enraptured by his manly baritone,
Disposed to relaxation, and awaiting no surprise—
But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes.

And closer still and closer the sampans circled round,
And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound.
The lovers sang their last duet, in danger of their lives—
For the foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives.
Then GILBERT gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian horde;
With a frightful burst of fireworks the Chinks they swarmed aboard.
Abandoning their sampans, and their pullaways and junks,
They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks.

Then Griddlebone she gave a screech, for she was badly skeered;
I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared.
She probably escaped with ease, I’m sure she was not drowned—
But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround.

The ruthless foe pressed forward, in stubborn rank on rank;
Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank.
He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop,
At the end of all his crimes was forced to go ker-flip, ker-flop.

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land;
At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the strand.
Rats were roasted whole at Brentford, and at Victoria Dock,
And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok.

To be sung to "***** Laundry"
by Don Henley

We have a little story
That we could tell
We have a little poison
In our inkwell
Let's be a gossip
Let's be a shill

Give us the 'ol Pulp *******'.

We peep through the windows
And listen at doors
We buy the "Enquirer"
And "The Star" at the stores
"She ***** herself"
And "She's a *****

***** little minds galore!

Give us the 'ol Pulp *******'.

Have a li'l "lady"
Who's fast and free
I've heard she's been a prossy
That she's easy
Nothin' nice to say?
Come sit by me!

Give us the ol Pulp *******'

Could have been emeritus
Could have been a great
But I pound out nothing
But dreck and spate
So what if it's full of hate?

You don't really want to know
If it's real or true.
It's not what they SAY
it's what you they DOO DOO
DON'T YOU WORRY WHAT
I THINK OF YOU

(THAT YOU ALL POO POO 💩)

Give us the old Pulp *******'

Kick 'em while they're up
Kick 'em while they're down
(1, 000, 000, 000 000, 000 X)


🎯 Write of Passage


***** Laundry"

I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something
Something I can use
People love it when you lose
They love ***** laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor
But I wound up here
I just have to look good
I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us ***** laundry

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em all around

We got the bubble headed
Bleached blonde
Comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash
With a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die
Give us ***** laundry

Can we film the operation
Is the head dead yet
You know the boys in the newsroom
Got a running bet
Get the widow on the set
We need ***** laundry

You don't really need to find out
What's going on
You don't really want to know
Just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your ***** laundry

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff
Kick 'em all around

(Kick 'em when they're up)
(Kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're up)
(Kick 'em when they're down)

(Kick 'em when they're up)
(Kick 'em when they're down)
(Kick 'em when they're stiff)
(Kick 'em all around)

***** little secrets
***** little lies
We got our ***** little fingers
In everybody's pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love ***** laundry

We can do the innuendo
We can dance and sing
When it's said and done
We haven't told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us ***** laundry

Don Henley

If the shoe fits...



SoulSurvivor aka
Write of Passage
2022