She touches me and knows not why and that frightens her.
She's the only one that can make me cry, so she wonders.
How can I let her know I'm no threat just an admirer.
I only wish to touch her kaleidoscope heart as when friends confer.
Yet she watches me from a distance and that distance she keeps.
The longer she stays away the harder my battered soul weeps.
I have no dark motive nor any sinister plans.
Even if I desired, I could never be what she demands.
I guess convincing her of this is completely out of my hands.
So in the darkess corner of her mind is where I'll remain...is where I'll stand.

We are the hopeless
We are the lost
We are the ones who fight the hardest
Then fall and drown in our own blood
We are the ones with hearts made of steel
Icy cold and burning hot,
Either way, you can’t melt the part of us
That is dark

(Dark)
You cannot find us,
Because we are dark
(Dark)
You cannot save us,
Because we are dark
(Darkness is the air we breathe,
Darkess is a smothering sea)
We are all dark hearts,
And we feel nothing but this pain

When we walk, it is with heavy footsteps
When we talk, it is with
Voices barely there
We are the poor souls
Caught in the landslide
And no one can us scream
“Help me!”
And we give up our last breath and fade
Into the dark

(Dark)
You cannot find us,
Because we are dark
(Dark)
You cannot save us,
Because we are dark
(Darkness is the air we breathe,
Darkess is a smothering sea)
We are all dark hearts,
And we feel nothing but this pain

Don’t try to prove to us that there is love
Don’t show us a world that is absent of pain
Don’t try to tell us that we are okay
Don’t you understand,
We can’t take your hand
Because
The darkness is contagious
The darkness is contagious

(Dark)
You cannot find us,
Because we are dark
(Dark)
You cannot save us,
Because we are dark
(Darkness is the air we breathe,
Darkess is a smothering sea)
We are all dark hearts,
And we feel nothing but this pain

We feel nothing but this pain
Weighing us down
Tarnishing our souls
Don’t ever try to tell us that we
Are anything but
Dark.

Heart of darkness
transcend some light
you confused the body and soul.

Heart of darkness
your youthful years
were gracious and gleaming
you loved with gregariousness.

Heart of darkness
blindsided by *******
it saturated the body and soul

Heart of darkness
forgive and forget
ratify a truce with love,
Let love in.

Heart of darkness
bruises heal in time
in love there is fear
however, perfect love
casts aside doubt.

Heart of darkness
sadness interferes with hope
we were saved in this hope
hope that is seen is not hope
leaving only trust.

Heart of darkess
the essence of hope
the secret to victorious living
lies in seeing good
in every situation that comes into our lives

Heart of darkness
Let love in....

Dolls and Damns
Drunkards and Drifts
Dimples and Darkess
Dank and Dreamy

I am trying to set free

The darkness consumes my every thought dragging me to the corners of my mind.
There I find the memories of days gone by, hurt that was forgotten and joy never known.
My silent torment remains silent as the screams for help echo in the hollwness of the memories I store.
why won't they help me? Cant they hear me cry for someone to save me from myself, from that monster that haunts when I am unguarded and weak. That monster that stole my innocence that stole my childhood, and it wasn't alone as most monster aren't. God help the child trapped in this wretched soul for it is damaged and broken.
To repair a soul, a mind is almost impossible for you can't recover what was lost in a sea of darkess and fear. Forgivness would be a start to finding peace ost would say, but that is an elusive response to the evil that lurks in my memories, and futile to seek that which does not come.
I know the Lord has forgiven me for my past and sin, but I am not so easily persuaded to forive such hurt and betrayal of innocenece. The monster that brought the evil upon me is the worste some would say, but I beg to differ seeing the unknowing accomplice (those with the power to help but not the courage) the worste evil of them all and never worthy of forgivenenss.

Introducing you to the metal that I use to paint
But everytime I use this; I always faint
I'm carving it to my skin like a masterpiece
And everytime I do this it reminds me of broken pieces

I am the red artist in the dark night
The artist who lost her will to fight
So here am I trying to make an art
To my skin and to add bleeding to my heart

My works are not even worthy
They are calling it ******
But seeing my blood in my skin
I am an artist through thick and thin

You are judging me from what you saw
Not even knowing what's behind of my flaws
The best artist that people never noticed
Is now fighting with words as a poetess

The red blood on the floor
Symbolizes that I will now close the door
Of the darkess which I live in
And to my dear self, for how long since it has been?

I see a darkness in you.
The same darkness I see in me.
I also see a ray of light,
Reflecting, shining, a brilliance not many people have.
I'm messed up, my head down the gutter.
And I run. I run from the hollowness and I run from the dark.
And I'll keep running until I'm shown the light shines from me.
You saw the light,
The light I could not see.
You showed me that I too have a light,
A light that refracts like a diamonds, shining colours and splitting, allowing others to see and feel the warmth.

Though I still see the darkness, though it only mimics what once was.
you have shown me a light that I can make shine bright.
You helped show me thatI am more than the hole which tears my heart apart.
You helped show me that I too can be brilliant and I too can shine like a bursting star.
I could destroy galaxies and planets and be something so destructive.
But instead, you turned me int a light that shines so bright I keep other planets alive.

You'll never see or understand how much you've done for me.
How much you've shared or how your kindness has brought meinto the light.

I was a destroyer
I thought I was the darkness
But you've shown me that I am better.
Now I am the light.
Now I can be brilliant.
I know what you've given me.
And I am so eternally grateful.

But the darkess still seeps in. It still stays.
It creeps in at night when I'm feeling low.
Sometimes i miss the dark because it was so easy.
But I hold onto the light because the light shines through the darkness.

I could have kissed you

In the garden, with cold hands and muddled stars

My fingertips tracing patterns in the semi darkess - you trace back , you reciprocate

(do you feel the same? can I ever know you?)

I push back baby hairs, kiss your forehead
Night makes kings and fools of all of us

Staring in the quiet, numb fingers pull on yours

(you reciprocate)

(you are like me, but you say so many words, words to make trivial a kiss, yet words to make heavy this night)

Past faces and wandering hands come into view
I loved her, yet what she did was not love

Is this different? 

Are you different?

And I could have kissed you ( I should have kissed you ) but a sober heart keeps you not quite close.

I have loved, and I could love again

The future, hold my heart, not missing a beat.

There was a time in my life
When I was beaten down, broken, lost
and left for dead.
All those who I thought were my friends
left me when I needed them most.
But before they left,
they blamed me for my suffering.
I was all alone,
abandoned and bleeding on the side of the road
I thought that this was it.
I thought I was taking my last dying breath.

But something happened.
A person I couldn't identify in my wounded state
picked me up off the hot asphalt
I lost consciousness in this stranger's arms
And when I came to
I was in a cabin
On a leather sofa
In front of a roaring fire.
The stranger came over to me
and offered me water.
When I took the glass from his hand
I saw there were round wounds on both of his hands
As my vision unclouded gradually
I noticed that his face had terrible welts
leading down to his neck.
"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned
He laughed endearingly
and said to me:
"Yes, dear. This is the price I paid for all of humanity."
I am confused yet intrigued,
and I ask him to expound on what he's said.
He looks into my eyes,
and there is a split moment in which I experience
this deep sense of recognition,
But my cognitive mind
is having trouble piecing together
these nebulous inklings.
He begins: "You are not alone in your experience
of being scorned, abused, abandoned and wrongly accused."
I look at him puzzled,
for he is merely a altruistic stranger
Who has quite literally saved my life.
But I begin to feel anxious,
wondering how he could possibly know so much about me.
He continues: "I too have experienced all this. I was sent to earth from Heaven by my Father to teach people what unconditional love really is. Since humans are marred by sin, they are incapable of expressing God's kind of love in its purest form. This is why my Father sent me. To embody this Love and liberate people with the Truth of this Love."
"But there were many who hated me for delivering Love and Truth to a dying world. I disrupted the status quo. All these people who had been seeking God religiously rejected God when he came to them in the flesh."
"This all culminated with one of my closest friends deceiving me and delivering me into the hands of my enemies. I was innocent, absolutely blameless, yet they found fault in my purity. They found fault in my refusal to bow down to and conform myself to their customs of *******. I see this spirit in you also. I see this unwillingness to conform and follow along mindlessly with everyone else. You are wise for this. But the world also hates you for exactly this reason."
Tears well up in my eyes,
And I can't keep myself from wailing.
No one has ever known me so well.
But this is a stranger.
I ask him: "Tell me, who are you? What is your name?"
He responds: "I am the Son of God, Jesus of Nazareth.
I know your suffering intimately,
For I was wounded for your transgressions
I was bruised for your iniquities
So that by my stripes you are healed.
I was a blameless man
Who took on myself
The entire punishment of this fallen world
So that you, a wretched sinner,
Can become blameless in the eyes of God
and be set free
from the consequences of sin
which is death.
Though you've been abandoned and left for dead
By this fallen and corrupt world
Keep your focus entirely on God.
Laugh in the face of your every trial,
For what power do dire circumstances have over God?
God will supply you with
His joy, courage and love
in abundance,
Equipping you to spread the seeds
Of this revolutionary truth
about God's unconditional love
to a love-starved world.
Just as I have overcome death,
I have made you an overcomer as well.
Where there is an abundance of light
there can be no trace of darkess.
The darkness of this world
Was overcome by my light.
Chose to accept this legacy of light
and follow in my footsteps."