In my quest for love, I gained clarity about what love is not.
What began as love bombing, which made me feel giddy and soft,
quickly changed to breadcrumbing and feeling shut out and lost.
You withheld communication, and I longed for our playful ease.  
Being left out in the cold depleted my inner peace.  

Your inconsistencies made me question my own feelings of worth,  
And the gaslighting led me to second-guess what I knew to be my truth.  

Being treated as another option didn't resonate with my soul  
It clashed with my self-respect, which had kept me authentic and whole.

Facing this reality left me shattered, but it made it very clear.
Our time together was toxic; it was neither love nor care.

did you do it purposefully?

so that when women asked me if you actually took me on those first dates, I had to smile and say yes —

remembering the last week when we just sat in silence because if words were said we’d have to get off the phone.

or was that unintentional?

putting in your all and then breadcrumbing so I felt bad. And when you could see me withdrawing— you bring out extravagance.

So I couldn’t ask for a standard minimum.

But you wouldn’t do that, cause you’re the nice guy.

like she told me.