mornings scribble while the rain drizzles...

vulnerability
fragility
gracility
being strong all the time
day to day
month to month
year to year
feeds the need
to sometimes be
less
less than strong
less in control
feeds the need
to release the lead
let the bruise
become the soothe
yield to the bleed
release feeding
into deep peace

© J.C.

woken by sultry rain
droplets big fat splots
upon my window pane
feeds the need
to feel your skins warmth
next to me
in nights dark pitch
knowing
at my fingers reach
you are here
closer, so near
not kept from me
by swirling vast seas
It hurts
pulling your pillow
in close
wrapping my body around it
whispering your name
is not the same
as feeling your breath
upon my skin
your touch
that I need so much
the rain falls
on and on
pushes me
through this barren night
til dawns light
breaks me apart
with it tears at my heart.

© J.C.

you lifted my arm
to see it drop flop
like I was a rag doll
when I was still a child
should have still been
a child instead
my body heavy
limbs drugged
and sleeping
my mind
still awake
although drowning
small heart pounding
I could feel your heart beating
excited with anticipation
carrying me to
the midnight garden
silver dollar leaves
their dusky shimmer
becoming
my focal distraction
blurred points of light
guiding me back
to days spent in sunshine
sunlight glistening
on gentle ocean waves
childhood delights
dusted with light
slipping the knot
mouth filled
with leaves of rot
mixed with coppery blood
becoming
escape artist extraordinaire
Houdini of the mind slip
not to feel young flesh rip
invoking warm summer air
not to feel the rip and tear
making myself spring rain
not to feel the searing pain
recalling my mother's embrace
tactics to temporarily erase
to catapult
through time and space
dusky
silver
dollar
leaves shimmer
feeling the burn of the rope
grasping any filamental
glimmer of hope

© J.C. 25/12/2019 3.40am

you slow love my scars
I love your fast cars
my sweet basil kisses
playing Mr and Mrs
I fancy your tickles
you tickle my fancy
we're in for the long haul
bucket list Spain Italy & Nepal
I'm a fool for your affection
& communication
with no deflection
how we love to share showers
I could get lost for hours
and hours
and hours
and hours
your sharp wit is never dour
how you give love
is your secret superpower
even your cats are quite amazing
whether launching at possums
or dining on lobster paté
piggy wiggy grazing
or mew, mew, mew, to say
you don't even know
how beautiful you are
as rare as crystal cinnabar
even across seas afar
a love beyond par
my honey bee so clever
I'm going to love you forever
with tender sweet care
grace with kisses
your face fair
nuzzle your fuzzy belly hair
and further, further,
further down there
breathe in your sultry musk
kiss the lovely freckle
on your love tusk
honey bee this love we share
deep and truly beyond compare
from baby bee to my honey bear

J.C.

you are not gone from me
still constant
your love remains
yet an imposed shift
the fire break gap
pushing space between us
an emotional wall
a memory trawl
evokes strange
unwelcome feelings
frets shivers
begins a
f
     a
        l
          l
in my chest
she returns
not a stranger
yet estranged
the cuckoldress
revisits
a once in common
address
I hold your heart
within mine
as you hold
my heart dear
I know you are not gone
from me love
I still feel you
between every beat
held caged in my chest
no notice given
or taken
or regrets
perhaps
a returning
temptress
hits that feeling
again
of
falling
falling
falling
within my chest
my mind cursed
with overactive
imagining
seeing
she employing tactics
static crackles
inside my head
take the hit
the pull of you
felt belly deep in the pit
the cold empty
side of the bed
taunts
then taints
twists longings knife
after a few swift
sliced precision bites
you are not gone from me
logic puts up a good fight
when the heart is in so deep
and falls the long cold night
thoughts simmer
they steep and creep
you are not gone from me
love.

© J.C.

you are true beauty
to me
tiny glints
of amber fire
in your forest floor eyes
your generous
full lipped mouth
customised
for all my kisses
perfectly made
to kiss all of me
your errant eyebrows
misbehaving daily
their cheeky allure
endears my lips
to lovingly
chastise them
mostly
though
it is how
beauty radiates
from the way
you communicate love
it floors me
renders me trembled
at the knee
breathless
and flush cheeked
you are to me
golden warm light
exuding joy
when you speak to me
whispering my name
uttering words of love
and devotion
softly growled
against my mouth
my entire being
harmonizes
as one
with the vibration
of you.

© J.C.

Weird not wired
I drew so did you
Not dire how we do
All the weird
that weirdos do

one weird day an'
words I? (per) se
how we found
our weird way
weirdness abound

if you weird on me
I'd love to too
weird all over you
we did weird see
weird on weird lovely

wordie ******
swim don't sink
I think in pink
weirdos in sync
I could would do
****** love you!

J.C. honey-assassin 22/04/2019.

with passing peers
faster pass the years
and shifting gears
not so smoothly run
in moonlights bathe
our sunset days
too soon over after just begun

J.C. honey-owl 05/06/2019

Ain't Life Grand..at 1.30am.

Ain't life grand when your
teenage son decides at 1.30am
to take a stomp
through the house,
feet as loud as possible
on the lovely Tawa boards,
'coz he had a 'fight' with his
gf..his bf..his best friend
over nothing
over something
blah blah blah...

knowing your tenuous
relationship with sleep,
bangs away
doors swung a 'lil too hard,
sighs heaved audibly,
yes son, yes son, wide awake now
if you want to talk,
instead choose testosterone
and I'm a ***** for asking you
to please be a little more gentle
in the middle of the night.
single parenting,
ain't life grand,

as 'he' sleeps blissfully
on the other side of the city,
unaware of either his child's
best friends name,
or their most favourite things,
colours, songs they sing
quietly to themselves
when relaxed disarmed
alone with their thoughts.

ain't life grand as sleep,
gone now the way of
too many dried tears,
runny noses,
and skinned knees,

son sheepishly tapping now
on my door, with sorrys and
I love you's and
that was not cool of me mum.
well I'm awake now son
if you need a cuppa, a hug
and a chat at 2am,
or anything,
ain't life grand.

it's nothing,
it's everything,
it is.
It is the empty half of the bed,
sheets cold still tucked
it's not getting ******,
no comfort to be had,
except for my
constant companions,
my cicadas,
chirping rhythmically
on and on outside
the open summer windows.

Ain't life grand, monster o'clock
right around the corner now,
just beyond the breech,
any point in trying to grasp
a handful more
of tattered sleep
lost.

I want to scream it
into the still dark night
to all those peaceful bodies,
curled together in
ignorant Innocent bliss,
wake up! wake up! wake up!
yeah, ain't life grand.

J.C. 30/03/2019.

wrap me
in the warmth
of your sleeping body
let your love
be my blanket
make me a pillow
of kisses & caresses
soothe me
run your deft fingers
through my fallen tresses
let your heart beats
rythym
in sleep
feed
my own breaths
metre to keep

*  *  *  *  

love in stasis
your heart beats
in sleep
an ocean sways
my heart beats
stranded
10699 km away
so
love becomes
pain
a gnawing ache
in the pit of my belly
until
your whispered
breath
grazes my skin
as you utter
my name
in love
again
and
again

  *  *  *  *

I feel your love
with me always

craving to
exalt our love
with my body
on your body
belly to belly
lip to lip
fingers interlaced
into ecstasy
we slip
nourish me
with the fire
in your *****
let your passion
take me higher
and higher
every particle
of life
is pure pain
until
we are
together again
forever joined.

© J.C.

3am silence
sings to me
like a siren
on the stormy sea
it calls your name
carved out of
nights velvety ink
I reach for you
feeling my heart sink
as the night air
swallows my touch
without response
as silence screams
this pit deep want
interrupts my dreams
dry runs loves font
without you here
laying warm
against me dear
all is empty & cold
no joy of love
to thaw my heart
pain defined
is being apart.

© J.C.

when I'm sick
with physical malaise
and pain gives way
to anxiety in waves
of rising panic
you soothe me
with tender care
ease me through
to peaceful calm
tending
so I come to no harm
with you
I feel safe
for you to see me
stripped and bared
of my outer armour
fragile weak scared
returned to
a child-like state
needing reassurance
kindness
and 'there-theres'
to know that
someone cares
I feel it all with you
I feel cared for
nurtured
I feel you
I feel loved
deep and true.

J.C.

even though
it is bitingly cold
outside
it is the heat
in my *****
that wakes me
the longing for you
outweighs any frost
the thrum of my pulse
drowns out the heavy rain
I crave to feel your warmth
close to me
burn for the touch
of your arms around me
reaching out for me
in slumber
as always
this ache
settles deep in the pit
of my belly
magnet pulling
to wherever
you are.

It's 3am again.

J.C.

my diurnal rhythms
the push
and the pull
of my tides
now ruled
by
the magnetic force
that is you
your love
felt deep
in the rising swell
of my desire for you
I am powerless
against
this gravitational pull
of wanting
of aching
of breathing
only for your touch
for your kiss
I can feel you
in every beat
of my heart
taste you
as the whet
on my tongue
feel
the vibration
that is you
as both sound and sensation
like a stretched string
quavering in perfect pitch
feel
my pounding heart
the buzz
running through my core
like a hummingbirds wings
in oscillatory motion
feel
every fibre of my being
awakened
every atom
in an excited state
your love both
the catalyst
that causes star bursts
behind my eyes
in a myriad
of beautiful hues
and
the soothe
the restorative
that lends a deep peace
to my soul
your kiss
your loving caress
the balm
that heals my heart.

© J.C.

Infinite tiny kisses
and how
my heart misses
a beat for you
all the tenderness
that you do
moves me deep
so many sweet things
in the love you bring
how you sing
me to sleep
then watch over me
with loving song
and wake me
gently
when my dreams go wrong
the break in your voice
for my pains of past
the depth of your love
how my heart does rejoice
these feelings for you
are more than vast
thought I'd known
true love in the past
all pales that came before
until you opened
loves true door
this rare connection
we share as one
aligned to perfection
its depth profound
all my defences undone
as emotions abound
you are the ocean
to my earth
the air
to my flame
I ache inside
I burn
I live
for when next
you call out my name


J.C. honey-tiger 09/08/2019 3.33am.

From ******* sweet tips
and curve of hip
milky thighs and sighs
of feminine mystique

Its the inner sighs, smiles
and why's,
the mothers touch
that heals so much
the loving reach,
across the breech,
soothes woes of man
she is Woman.

© J.C.

the pull to you
in slumbering peace
sets my nerves
on fire
to be held by you
in loving embrace
sparks flames to
deepest desire
to kiss your lovely face
withhin your dreamscapes
infects my heart
with joys bright fire.

© J.C. 24/09/2019.

do you see it over there
crouching in the corner
horns prone, teeth bared
don't take a breath
don't make a sound
maybe he will leave
if I don't turn around
unpealed screams
hidden deep down
push it push it push it
back down underground.

J.C.

just like that
I felt it
the snap
the fall in my chest
dissolving inside again
the spell broken
as pain
floods back in
irrevocably scarred
by the monsters
cruel intentions
he follows me
still
lurking in the shadows
hiding in wait
inhabiting
deep dusty corners
of my mind

a self promise made

to
      never
                   ever
                               forget

the wolf
wears sheep's clothing
comes a hunting
with gleaming smile
sharpens his teeth
on the soft bones
of fair children
fills his belly
with a ragout
of broken dreams
and lost childhood
innocence


the hunters knife
sliced away
all my goodness
left fear
left mistrust
left pain
left emptiness
in goodness's place

could I be too broken
to ever be good again
when simple words
misspoken
sets parralel tracks
a moving together
in beautiful sync
on a collision course
becoming a train wreck
the track snaps
love at its neck

the spell is broken

and

I remember
I remember
I remember
I remember
why I have remained

                      
                           alone.


to love
to open up
to be vulnerable
to trust
to allow myself
to be loved
is it
too late?

my shattered pieces
have very sharp edges
such a good man
such a good heart
too good
to lacerate
vicariously injure
to hurt by proxy
too good

for me.

© J.C.

your wondrous love
flows over me
like warm honey
and molten lava
sweet & tender
with
loving devotion
hot & fired
with
burning urgent need
to feel both
so deeply loved
and
so fiercely desired
the marriage
of
tender true love
and  how
you burn like the sun
for my body
on your body
your body
in my body
saturates
every cell of my being
with love for you
fierce & unstoppable
as a raging storm
gentle & yielding
as a summer breeze
deep & overwhelming
as the Mariana trench
I am consumed
by the wild forest fires
of your love
willingly lost
in your forest floor eyes
every moment of my day
not with you
is spent aching
for your touch
to feel
your breath on my skin
your embrace
pulling me in close
no air between our skin
your kisses
raining on me
everywhere
my pulse thumps
and my heart
beats out your name
your love has
forever changed me
never again the same

© J.C.

rips pulling strong undertow
your saline buoyancy flow
lulls me floating
while carrying me westward
blissed out eyes closed 
I do not know
how far I have drifted in your arms
now way past the breakers
charms turn to harms
eyes open tolling alarms
strong arms set to crawling
across not against recalling
training given in harsh water
to a once young earth daughter
lessons learned
merits earned
guide me home safe
tired but wired
remembering
the power
the strength
of the mighty Tangaroa
mother sea
soothe me
or take me
free me
or devour me
respect.

J.C.

drunk again
the Bourbon sliding
down your throat
like a lovers kiss
out comes
the witty charm
banter up the *****
that's you
when drinking
not over thinking
or feeling like
you're sinking
but when you
get home
crawl into bed
and into my arms
knowing you're
safe from harms
the shell cracks
your softer side
showing
child like
knowing
I see you
yes I truly do
just me and you
the fear shows
as trust grows
it's how it goes
my s.q.p
lay with me
lost boy
of the morning
with rising sun
so your thirst
is dawning
the light
catches
you in fright
reflected
in the mirror
not a palatable
sight
so dawns
the time to drown
be again a cad
out about town
charmer
smooth as honey
dripping away
all our money
buying rounds
burning our love
to the ground
still
you keep
coming around
seeking
that familiar peace
reeking
of ketones
on your knees
begging my love
please baby please
to give you
the soothe & ease
you crave & need
but sugar
your absence
planted a seed
now I'm craving
to be freed
that sweet love
we did share
turned to chains
ownership
no care
I need so much more
than to be
your priestess
and your *****
a place to confess
while you
take off my dress
chain me to your hips
lies dripping
off your lovely lips
it's stripping
me bare
skin to the bone
I'm more
than something you own
so as love
turns to vapours
draw up
the divorce papers
you get
down & *****
now
its about
how to hurt me
your pains message
plain to see
is so I don't forget
you keep the key
never going to let
me
truly
be
free
Well
see....
me fly away
my lost boy of the morning
my s.q.p
see me
sad it's true
no longer
can i
give my love to you...
s.q.p.
you & me
sugar,
we're through...


J.C.

you sweep in on scented night breeze
with utterings that bring you to my knees
intentions set here clear to please
her nature relents freely to your tease

this heady scent intoxicates thee
your affections now aggrandize me
her penners pen does panegyrize you
appetencies to lo sweet blown through

this dance transcends base hypnotic
sifts the filaments within unto ******
her delta grande radiating blue glow
your beacon signal guides to my flow


as our desire rises to bliss yet unknown
tides overwhelm us then drive us home
the breakers wild crash all around us
within calm eye our peace is found just.

J.C. 14/03/2019.

I remember the days
of our spotless youth
perfect bodies
yet to be touched
by bearing
our children
or weathering
your fists
back when love
was still
tender sweet fruit on the vine
you lived to lay your head
upon my breast
post ******
you christened them
'the heavens'
how you offered up
prayers of adoration
with such sweet tenderness
made me believe
we would last forever

I remember the days
of our arcadian youth
you stole stars light
from moonless nights
sprinkled it my eyes
and between my thighs
you were
such an adept mountebank
playing fast and loose
with the truth
and my heart
set me up
for the greatest fall
of all

I saw a photo of you
the other day
and
finally
felt nothing.

© J.C.

If love bids you to could you love me
If joy bates you would you en-joy me too
If hope ignite you will you share the spark
If calm greets you can you soothe me too

When light brights you can you see me lit
When song fills you plead gift a little bit
When happy your day send some my way
When kisses dust thee I plead kiss me play

Now you're seen I bid you gaze upon me
Now your heart soars lift me up to thee
Now sun graces you come warm up me
Now moondust shines do glisten over me

After you catch me bid you still chase me
After sleep befalls you please lullaby me
After lust ignites you I beg set me alight
After sated supine let me love you right

J.C. honey-tiger 06/05/2019.

Heidelberg
Heidelberg
Sing to me
Beautiful
Noisy
Rhythm
I hear
4 true colours
Sweet smell
Of
Ink.
Of
Oil.
Heidelberg
Heidelberg
I'm in love
With
You
Your pistons
Your wheels
Your
Smooth repetition
Sweetly
Engineered
Appeal abounds
I could
Happily be
Stuck
In a room
With just you
For days.

05/08/1995 J.C.

Memory's bell chimes
its knell pealing
back time
the tempo
of backward clocks
ticks following tocks
undoing
dusty mind locks
a voice long past
leaps the void vast
unbidden creeps
along my dreamscape
lingers haunts steeps
reminds me
there will be no escape
searching
for lights trapdoor
unfound
fetid breath my captor
persists
anchors me down bound
taste leaves moss
dirt fed fear in ground
breaking with silent loss
that which can never
be found.

© J.C.

Underwater bells ring
candles fire flickering
burning down
to waxen embered nub
thunder rumbles
as lightning strikes
flashes through
my dreamscape
kicking up through
the undertow
hoping to wake
his cool hands
pull on my ankles
trying to keep me
down with him
where deep underwater
bells ring
where deathly angels
with sweet
voices sing.

© J.C.

Once a lovers heart has
taken a few knocks
endured those
deep cardiac shocks
demurred
at chance advances
all in the wake of
the greatest heartbreak

it becomes and unbecomes
it depends on the unbend
the waver set in place
and we lose more
precious drops of time
rather than lose face
with it our grace
it's how goes I know

after your greatest love
is gone leaving all fallow
the idea or very thought
of love burning to nought
too much to bear once more
so we shut tight the door
consequence ourself
into situation is this...

now possibly on the shelf
for the long haul
expiry date unknown
seeking but not keeping
looking but not leaping
forsaking for fear of breaking
apart again that pain of all pain
deeply gnawed in our soul
took too much of a toll
to entertain in your heart again.

I get it I get it... But...
how then to reset it?
I want to feel brand new
un-know what I did do
un-feel the pain of you
believe in not one but two
I get it... I get it...
but cannot just forget

the devastation my heart met
when true love slipped the net
turned this heart to dust
eroded trust to rust
so now I know I must I must
be sure before I entrust
and go soft go gentle steady
only once this heart is ready.



J.C. 29/03/2019

Once a lovers heart has
taken a few knocks
endured those
deep cardiac shocks
demurred
at chance advances
all in the wake of
the greatest heartbreak

it becomes and unbecomes
it depends on the unbend
the waver set in place
and we lose more
precious drops of time
rather than lose face
with it our grace
it's how goes I know

after your greatest love
is gone leaving all fallow
the idea or very thought
of love burning to nought
too much to bear once more
so we shut tight the door
consequence ourself
into situation is this...

now possibly on the shelf
for the long haul
expiry date unknown
seeking but not keeping
looking but not leaping
forsaking for fear of breaking
apart again that pain of all pain
deeply gnawed in our soul
took too much of a toll
to entertain in your heart again.

I get it I get it... But...
how then to reset it?
I want to feel brand new
un-know what I did do
un-feel the pain of you
believe in not one but two
I get it... I get it...
but cannot just forget

the devastation my heart met
when true love slipped the net
turned this heart to dust
eroded trust to rust
so now I know I must I must
be sure before I entrust
and go soft go gentle steady
only once this heart is ready.

© J.C.

Our last thread
is dead
closed for business
you too are gone
sending me back
to the time
midnight
beat back the clock
like grains of sloe ice
melting on hot skin
in cold air
where you ever there?
it's that time again
bleeding
and on the run
hard to lose
soft to bruise
when a sick belly
feeling for the *****
tied her desires to you
in truckloads
"the monster and me
are real good friends"
once again
all sunshine
ice cream,
big eyed dreams
not o'er here dear
more akin to
black knights,
hemlock &
screams
freshly pealed
for your sonic pleasure
take me home
to my father
let the river
wash me clean
so I may
emerge as a dove
this sentient wanderer
is in dire need
of some paternal love.

© J.C.

without
these walls
red fired dawn
burns into
shimmered lucent light
dancing brightly
against a
slow warming horizon
within
these walls
windows opened wide
Tuis morning song
and warm bright light
spilling into the room
I ache on
stretching my limbs
as if doing so
will find you
beside me
pressing your belly
(how I love your belly)
against mine as I stretch
your hands
(how I love your hands)
holding me
at my waist
your generous mouth
(how I love your mouth)
dusting my face
with kisses
and whispered growls
of love & tenderness
I keep my eyes closed
knowing
the moment I open them
the spell will break
within these walls
I stretch
in the hot summer morning
alone
without these walls
you are too far
from my touch
from my kiss
sultry droning cicadas
Mr Tuis ardent
morning serenade to Mrs Tui
the rising heat
serves only to feed this ache
settled deep in my belly
the pull in my ***** to
wherever you are
palpable

© J.C.

when the light
is becoming obscured
by the black dots of panic
closing in
increasing
in number and volume
buzzing and fusing together
you pull me in
draw me back
peacefully
your voice, your love
guides the stillness in
the warm blanket
of your loving care
calmly
gifts me the pause needed
to find my centre again
to not feel alone
or isolated
it is a new thing for me
not dealing alone
feeling your love
and how you give it
the power it has
to soothe my fractured soul
turn the black dots of panic
into shimmering glints of light
golden and dusted opalescent
how is it
you can both thrill me
and instil such deep peace
at the same time?

J.C.

I was looking forward to our
rocking chair days
Suns rising and setting
On our front porch
It brought calm to my storming seas
Ironically, with you who tore
My soul apart
I felt the safest
I've ever known.
Til night you set my mind
to overdrive unable to
Override the real of it all
blood spilled from ****
on hotel sheets, fist mark's
under skin on thighs
belly
Bitten breast, perfect mold of teeth
left behind left breast
I wondered why
of all my wounds and tears
the teeth mark left did anger you most
as I lay in your arms, comfort seek
unaware then, twas at your command
my soul shattered & scattered upon
the wind
wondered too, why you wouldn't f*ck me well
heal me again
damaged goods I thought ok
I got it, understood
if only I'd known that you knew
exactly what occurred in suite 2315
had watched it even play by ill replay
maybe even slow mo, who can say
not I not me, my soul fragments fly around
my feet never again touching ground
no more Terra Firma for me
now I'm lost lost lost,
that peaceful calm you always
looked to me to bring
broken, tossed into the mire
along with two golden rings.

So Close, just There...

So close, just there
Nights inky blackness,
enfolds us in warm embrace..
sultry jasmine
drifts through windows
opened to the velvet summer sky
your body heat
my homing beacon
in the dead of night,
in our too big bed

Just there, I feel it, so close,
draws me into your stratosphere .. intoxicates my senses,
carrying me to you
locked into your orbit
The nape of your neck,
(I'm already done for)
my trigger.
Your essence
so close just there.
I feel my pulse,
thrum, thrum, thrumming
blood courses through my body
as I breathe you in
I am
            lost,
                         lost,
                                        lost.

Inevitably drawn
to your musky haven,
surrendering
We were I'm sure,
formed this way,
before we were born,
you the key to me the lock,
made to fit together,
perfectly.
like our bodies
had known each other
forever.

My loving lost boy of the morning,
the only one
who ever really saw me
really knew me..
I thought...
you were forever

So close..Just there...
Your scent,
my kryptonite
& my solace,
your strong arms
my safe harbour
only my embrace
could calm your storming seas,
the timbre of my voice
salve to your wounds
Alpha to Omega,
Yin to Yang
we were..

So many secrets shared then...
so many secrets still kept...
forever you will be
My lost boy of the morning
heart open, fists closed
but I saw you.
forgotten & denied,
all your
past,
          past,
                      past,
hurts
buried deep down

I still see you
in moments of every day,
at night
you come calling
in my dreams,
Sometimes...
tears stinging my cheeks awake,
heart bruising from memories
of a beauty we once shared,
an enveloping sense of grief,
lays heavy on my soul
and sleep is lost once more.
midnight beats back the clock
like grains of slow ice.,
'til dawn breaks again.

I miss the secret 'we'
the scent
at the nape of your neck
being so close...just there
a mere reach of my hand
to find you,
in the dark,
your slow calm breaths
bringing me back
from the night terrors,
the monsters of my distant past,
trying to force their way in...
from a life past
a life before you,
my panacea
saved me from myself

Our bed, your arms,
that musky firm embrace
our whispered secrets
in the dark,
kisses first
sweetly stolen,
then savoured deeply
my cheek pressed against
your chest
the
strong
slow
steady
beat of your heart
strong fingers threaded
softly through my hair,
one powerful hand resting
in the curve of my waist,
fingertips tracing
invisible patterns on my belly.
I could have stayed that way
forever,
curled up against you,
safe from the world.
I thought.

Safe no more
Love no more
Trust no more
Still...

I miss it.
I miss it.
I miss you.
I miss the 'we' that once we were
I miss the deep love
'we' once shared
I miss...
My loving lost boy of the morning
at sleepy fingertips reach.
So close, just there...

J.C. 01/04/2010.

Then

it was most
elusuve a chimera,
hidden and veiled
a reluctant host
by machine enigma
loves suggestive ghost

Now

your anima blended
with my feminine psyche
masculinity lended
a pairing possibly unlikely
delta apex merging
waters of life surging
unity of life how it frees
and what love gives
whilst on her knees
harmonic blends
flowers stretch then bend
soft dappled morning
when night into day
sleepily yawning
draws me in near
pulling me
into your stratosphere
breath on my shoulder
awakens my desire
encourages you bolder
ignites our fire
here in this moment
all sadness forgotten
you now loves proponent
loves filaments spun
like silken cotton
sheets over us and undone
prismatic lights dance
behind my eyes
as you blend and unbend
my lovers sighs.


J.C. baby-owl 01/08/2019.

dreaming you
sonic ally  of love
the tone comes in
enters stage right
quiets all the din
blooms open in pre dawn light
as summer on heat
exerts her beautific might
elementally present
you feel so right
your breath the air
my skin needs
to breathe
your seed the nourish
my earth it feeds
your touch the flame
that fires my heart
your infinite tiny kisses
quench my drought
to set this love apart
the tone comes in
enters stage right
colours burst in my eyes
I feel you as sound
carried by light

© J.C.

I feel you
across the expanse
of the city sleeping
all fallen quiet
big city hum
undercurrent of
industrial buzz
now silent
in lockdown

you
live way way way
away
across town
still
I sense you
in my dreams
crushing in
running me down
still looking for the win
my sleep
your hunting ground
you steep & creep
my affection
no longer yours
so keep
off my astral plane
baby

it's too late
I shut that gate
my heart is
a barren landscape
for you
bears no oasis
there'll be no succour
no comfort
no tenderness
here for you
the cost
of doing it
how you do
I understand
you believed
when you tricked me
into breaking 7 years
of silence
not hearing my voice
not seeing my face
nor smelling my scent
I understand
you believed
your charm
would win me again
but listen up
heed...
your need
is not my need

your voice just as it was
the first time
you whispered my name
tenderly fervent
against my breast
in love
but I remember
the pain
I remember it all
your spectacular fall
from loves grace
keeps a constant pace
with my broken heart beats
paper planes dissolving
in the ***** bath water
no blue sky horizons
or a return
to happy landings
sweet words of love
whispered against skin
this one
you'll have to take it
take it
on the chin
**** it in deep
a serenade to your chagrin
give it up ghost
no scenario here
in which you win


© J.C.

One loving fingertip
after one loving fingertip
softly and firmly
through touch
on my skin
you rip
through horrors
lived nightly
relived visions
unsightly
feeding back the light
with loving spoonfuls
of you
softened voice in my ear
tearing through
the fear
words dripped
off your tongue
pull me back
from when I was young
when the dark road tripped
peace rendered
unclipped
now tenderly tendered
fingers and lips
undoes the backward
slips
revealed a piece
of myself
until then hidden
on a deep dusted shelf
at the back of my mind
I thought no one would
find
historically
would cause me to run, flee
this exposure
of privately held me
ironically
with you
it's the opposite
I want to do
magnet pulls
inevitable
to you.

J.C. honey-owl 30/07/2019.

in the promise
of your kiss
mouths barely
touching
the lightest brush
of your generous lip
against mine
the warm dusting
of your breath
against my skin
tasting you
in my mouth
before you have
even touched me
I'm fully lit for you
thrills running
through
my wanting body
pulse thrumming
in my veins
my skin
on fire
craving
your touch
in those stolen moments
of almost touching
almost kissing
I feel your love
completely
it washes over me
pulls me
like the 7th wave
of an outgoing tide
at full moon
heavy undertow
dragging all logic
out with it
tossing me
tumbling me
caught
in the current
of my desire for you
I could be
shipwrecked
blissfully content
to be lost forever
your body
my deserted island
sometimes
all this love
all this passion
all this tenderness
all this heat
I have for you
overwhelms me
I lose time
just feeling
the intensity
of it all
find myself
breathless flushed
from
the mere thought of you
always
there is the pull
felt deep
in the pit of my belly
magnetised
and drawing my compass
to wherever you are.

© J.C.