Our beginning was beautiful as most beginnings are
We ended tragically as most soul mates do
And now we're just another broken mess of once was'
Another love story that ruined lives and yet, fell as dust among the earth

I see your ghost
In all the places you used to be
In all the places you should be

I feel your absence always
When it's my birthday and you don't call
When I go to parties, alone

I never realized how much I let you in
But your ghost makes sure I'll never forget

How funny
I always thought about how lucky I was
That you loved me

But the truth was
You were the lucky one
To be loved like a girl like me

As I took his face in my hands
Tears streaming down his cheeks
My raw heart out of my chest
I told him,
"Heartbreak is the worst pain someone can experience. But your heart is strong enough to get through it."

And if all we were
All the pain you caused
Was for that moment
Just one brief second where I was able to give someone peace in midst of tragedy
Then losing you all makes sense
And I wouldn't think twice about going through it again

I sit alone in the dark
And reminisce the essence of your touch
Feel your whisper across my skin
Let my memory intoxicate me with your smell

I wonder if you're holding another woman tonight
If she notices the softness of your eyes
And gentleness of your touch
The kindness of your kiss

I hold onto the fews pieces of you I still own
"I'll alway's be your first"
I mumble to the emptiness of the room
And the feeling of missing you takes over

They ask me why I drink so much
I tell them,

*"With this many cracks in a heart, there are a lot of spaces that need filling"

How do you know when it's over?
I've never been on this side before
I've never fallen out of love
I've never been the first to give up

Her broken heart fell into a slumber
Her body never wanted to wake it up from

You stand too close
And I can barely breathe
As your fingers secretly tickle the small of my back
I try to act as if you have no power at all
Praying that you don't feel the goose bumps arising from your touch
But things are complicated
And I'm not supposed to want you

But oh
How desperately I crave you

How wonderfully tragic
To experience the beauty of a broken soul

I know you're trying to erase me
But unfortunately for you
I wrote it all down in permanent ink

You cannot change someone
Entering relationships with the mindset of making them a better version of them self is horribly toxic for both parties

Change occurs by existing
If you want to change someone
Love them
Love them with every ounce of your being without any agenda
And they will change
Not in the way you wanted
But oh,
So much more magnificently than that

"We will always be
Maybe not again in this life
But us can never die"

I could pretend we never happened
I could lie and tell myself
You never really cared
But honestly,
What's the point in that?
Because You did love me
And now you don't
And even though that's a terrifying thought
It's the truth
Your love was necessary in my life for a time
And it no longer is
There was a time where you lifted all my burdens
And then there was a time that you became the heaviest one
I am better for being loved by you
And I am better for loving you even when you never deserved it
Your presence was once freeing
And now your absence is
I found myself in you
And above all,
I still love myself without you

She brushed off her tears as if it were dirt on her pants

And I wanted to tell her
That things are better when they're *****

"You seem... different."

*"People change. You taught me that."

Hitting the ground doesn't scare me, it's not knowing what I'll think about before I do, that does.

Most girls want to be kissed until they feel beautiful
And that's all well and good

But I want to be held so tightly
That I have no need for fear of the dark

You can't erase me
Not after the way I loved you

You don't get to forget me

I could never tell if I was something special or not.
Until I picked up a pen,
That's when I knew;
I was every single poem...
Wrapped into one.

He said to me,

"The reason you find yourself alone so much is because you are truth, where people want to turn a blind eye.
You're a constant reminder of the things that they're terrified to say and so instead of loving you,
They run away and say nothing at all."

In all the pain that comes with missing you
I smile and breathe
Because you'll never be able to escape the story of you and me
I know your answer
To every question they could ever ask

*"Her name was Savannah."

And in your absence
Something incredible happened

I fell in love with myself

What happened inside of you?
What changed?
When did I go from being the person who gave life to your breath
To the tedious chore you felt obligated to acknowledge?

No
His eyes weren't dark
And he didn't smoke cigarettes
He wasn't mysterious and stormy
He lacked charm and the ability of smooth talking

But he loved me
God, he loved me
And one day
He realized he didn't

And I will write about that for the rest of my life

The hardest thing I ever did was leave you

I knew I had to
But to this day,
It's still the only time I've ever doubted my own strength

I want you to be happy
Even if happy isn't me
I'm still happy for you

I clung to you like a drowning person does to air
And in the chaos of it all
There was a moment that I realized
Hanging on wasn't worth the fight anymore
And I let go

I've stopped feelings things
I never thought that would happen to me
But I guess you get to a point where you lose so much
That you forget what it's like to have someone stick around

I stood there
The midnight waves lapping against my bare chest
The black ocean
Sending waves over me
Taking with it every weary breathe
And pouring back into me salt and mystery

And though I could see nothing
I felt no fear
For if I died in the ocean
My soul would live forever with the one thing that always understood it

I'm even lost amongst those who could never find a place to begin with

I was spilling out words and brokenness I didn't even understand
I felt insecure and unsettled in measures that didn't have a way to be explained
And then I met your eyes
And I realized that I never had to be afraid again

Romanticize me
Make me feel overwhelmed with love
Surprise me with all the different ways your love drives you to show me just how you feel
Shower me in words to express the depths of your affection
Pour kisses on more than just my skin
Touch me in my soul so I feel the power of love within you
Go places you never have before
Do things you'd never thought you do
Because even though you've already won me over
I still need to be reminded from time to time
That you can't believe you're lucky enough to call me yours

I tried to tell you
But I guess my silence didn't scream loud enough