He just wants to be friends.
I'm okay.
       I'm okay.
             I'm okay.
You're never enough.*
I'm okay.
       I'm okay.
            I'm okay.
Look at how broken you are.
I'm okay.
      I'm okay.
           I'm okay.
Stupid girl. Your dreams are too big.
I'm okay.
      I'm okay.
           I'm okay.
Silly girl, you can't hold your tears in forever.
I'm okay.
       I'm okay.
            I'm okay.
No one loves you.
I'm okay.
       Ill pull myself together.
                              I'm always okay.

You said you wanted me
But those who crave the rose
Must live with the thorns

I thought that maybe if I just kept sleeping
I'd wake up and be who I was again

I do not ask that you understand my choices
You need not support them
Or agree with them

But please
Do not look so hurt
When I made it clear my dreams
And you refused to get out of the way

Poetry written
On the corners
Of napkins

Scribbled down
The thoughts
Of the soul

You are everything I want to be
Everything I wish I was
And I will never understand
Your complicated soul
I will never get past
The walls around your heart
I know there is a garden hidden behind
There are flowers that poke out through the cracks
Ones that you can't get back

I am just lucky
That you let me keep your walls company
Drawing on the keeper of your soul

I wish you here
To see who I am
To see all I am becoming
Knowing you are out there
So faraway
Breaks my heart everyday
So many times I need you here
Holding my hand when I get scared
I ache for the way you'd hold me tight
When nothing else quite felt right
I felt invincible with you
The way you took my hand and danced
You protected me
From all that wanted to hurt me
I couldn't be more grateful
For how much you loved me
I couldn't be more thankful
For the friend you were to me
And though I often felt enraged
At the choices you would make
You were always the one
Making me laugh at the end of the day
Oh how I miss you
How I wish you did not go
But most of all I hope you know
How special you are to me
How wonderful is your company
I will love you forever and always
No matter how far you are from me

Was she there for you those nights
You cried for every reason why?
Was she there to listen
To all the darkness concealed within your soul?
Does she love you without boundaries?
With every inch of her being?
I did all that I could
My heart was put in the palm of your hand
And even when things were scary
I didn't ask for it back
I showed her how to love you
Because while you were loving her
I was loving you
So it seems like you're happy
And don't notice how you make me cringe
Years of friendship
Were thrown away
Because you're to self centered to see any
Of all the pain you cause me

You were the first to see
Every single piece of me
And for some reason you stayed
But she slowly dragged you away

So was she there for you?
Is she everything you dreamed?
I don't see how she could be
Because the second things are frightening
You find your way back to me

I'm not quiet
Or mysterious.
I love to laugh loudly
That is all I know how to be
Loud.
Wild.
Vulnerable.
I will never be a quiet girl.
I never will simply agree
Anything can be an argument with me.
But oh how I can love
You see
Us serious girls
The ones who talk to much without thinking
The ones who have so many layers that they never stop being new.
When we fall in love
We can love with such an intensity
That you'll want to run
But it's much too addicting.
So you stay taking everything in
We're right between here and there
And you'll pray that we decide to never go anywhere

There are so many words tucked inside my heart
I am not sure how to get them all out
Some of them are terrifyingly true
Some are beautiful thoughts about you

They're the words that stampede my head
When you turn and look at me
And my lips quiver begging for your kiss

They're the things my hands cry
When your body is wonderfully close to mine

There are thoughts of love pouring out with my tears
When your company overwhelms me
Because I do not understand how it found me

My spine screams when your fingers are pressed gently against it
My body finds rest at your touch
Desperate that it will never stop

Even in my silence I am always saying something. My body never ceases to stop whispering how there are no words that could encompass the beauty that you are.

I do not ask for perfection
For it is not there.

All I want is your love
When times get hard
Or I act cold.

I want you to love me
And never let go.

I jump through stars
                And
Moons-planets-universes
       They hold me
  Amongst the gods
Who play with humans
             Like
        They’re rag dolls
    They call me their pet
                                      And I feel happy

What am I to do
With all this love I have for you?
For you are so in love with her
I can see that it hurts
Your smile, it is brighter
Your shoulders, they feel lighter
I watch as she comes around the corner
And you head straight toward her
I want you to be happy
That is all I care about  
Even though it kills me
That now I have been kicked out
She takes up all your time
She needs you every minute
Even though she swears
She is independent
So tonight I walk alone
Down the middle of our road
The solid yellow lines
Are blurry in my eyes
Because you should be here with me
Laughing like you did
This shouldn't be our ending
Nothing has been said

I walk by your house
To see you standing there
She is close beside you
You are playing with her hair
The tears they pour down
On our yellow lines
For finally I realized
You were never mine