I used to love
being all on my own
That was until
I had you in my home
We'd have music play
and all the lights would be on
I haven't flipped a single switch
since you've been gone

I used to love you
like a shark loves the smell of blood
And now I'm stuck missing you
so ******* much
We used to play games
like opposing teams
But those battles were never
as bad as they seemed

I miss your face
I miss your hands in mine
I miss all the gloomy days
when you'd let your sun shine
I miss your mistakes
Hell, I even miss the lies
But I don't regret the fact
I left tears in your eyes

No, I don't miss the pain
and I don't miss the fights
Now that your gone
I'm fast to sleep every night
I don't miss waiting on you
or being your mother
But I do miss the joys
of having a lover

I feel so bad
for leaving you lost
But you were eating my soul
and it wasn't worth the cost
I don't miss the fears
I don't miss the mistrust
I only miss the feeling
of there being an "Us"

Yeah, I only miss the feeling
of there being an "Us"

I'm drowning,
In a vast pool of
Water.
Of which,
I'd been
Thrown in.
Being held down,
So short of air,
My lungs about to burst.
The air around me
I won't dare breathe,
Yet soon the panic
Settles in,
And the screaming
Bubbles that hold
My desperate
Pleas for help,
Come up to the very top.
Every,
last,
One,
And I sink faster to the
Bottom.
No one
Heard me.
Even as my
Screams were
Sharper than a blade,
They were dulled by the
Halting water
That consumes me.

last night i went through old polaroids
of when you were still around-
the edges had faded and i couldn't
remember if they had once been coloured
or if the pictures had always been
black and white.  i tried to think back
to the exact moments they were taken, but
i couldn't get dates to stick in my head,
just the sound of your laugh right after
the camera had clicked- (it changed almost monthly,
and it was the only way i judged the
passing of time back then)

when i put them away to get some sleep,
i dreamt of your new laugh, and when i woke up
i realized i wasn't able to hear it.

I never knew
How love could be.
How it could catch you off guard
And wrap you in a sense of security.
Like waking up in the middle of the night
Disoriented
And realizing she’s still next to you
And in her sleep she sensed your distress
And curled into your arms.
How it could hit you so suddenly
Like looking around at the world one day
And realizing you want to hand it to her
On a silver platter.
How it can make you feel like you belong somewhere
Even with all your flaws and crooked edges
Like a puzzle piece that finally found its mate.

I never knew
My missing piece would look so different.
So different from what I predicted.
So different from my puzzle.

I never knew.
But I suppose that’s the beauty of it.
I’m certainly not complaining.

Love hits me with everything she does.
Love hits me every time she breathes.
Every time I wake up next to her
And want nothing more than to kiss her shoulders for the rest of my days.
Every time I want nothing more than to kiss her for the rest of my days.
Every time we fight.
Every time we sit next to each other doing nothing more than reading.
Every time we’re both too stubborn to admit we’re both wrong.
Every time I’m drunk.
Every time I’m alone.
Every time I breathe
And my heart aches with every inhale
And every exhale
Because there’s a set of stitches
Where she walked in and took a piece of my heart
And replaced it with a piece of her own.
And that space is more sensitive when she’s gone.
It feels twice the pain of her absence.
Mine
And hers.

I never knew
How love could be.
But I sure like learning new things.