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 Jul 2013 Sarah Antilope
Madison
There comes a day in your life where you meet someone special…
You try so hard not to admit it but you just can’t hold back the way you feel…
I like you.
You get all those feelings…
Those butterflies you can’t stomach,
That heart rate you can’t put at ease,
So baby …
Sweetheart with the beautiful smile. Sure, I loved sleep
But dreams couldn't compare
Not to talking to you until my mind screamed for rest
And the butterflies in my stomach settled
Darling with the endless amount of love…
your love could fill the oceans and climb the tallest trees,
but could your love belong to me someday?
Be given to me?
Can you feel the way I do for you?
& Boy, sometimes I tangle my own fingers
Closing my eyes, losing myself in a daydream
Where your voice is more than an echo in my mind
And I even believe for a few seconds you're still here
Lover, who writes me poems,
You should know I write you too.
I write about you until my fingers ache
And still after that I keep writing
Because there's just some people you could write about forever
And baby, you're one of them.
And boy who played me a song,
Sweet sounds bow down to my ears,
And the way you play your guitar…
& the way I daydream about kissing your lips...
I can’t wait until the sparks of your tongue burn my mouth
send electric shocks through my body
Cutie… with the funny jokes,
You make me laugh.
Today you made me laugh,
like you always do,
you’re the only one who can now a days.
Baby, with those sparkling eyes,
Your eyes haunt me whether I'm dreaming or not
And what haunts me more is the fact that
I can’t have you now
because you ruined it
It hurts to think about it,
So I have to block you out.
Play your songs to someone else,
Read your silly lines of heartache to someone else,
And go find… someone else.
If you asked me if I was real
I would tell you no
But if you looked to my wrist
Those scars are all too real
These smiles and laughs
Come from the instinct to hide
To avoid the predatory explanations
Everyone will ask for
When I tell them I'm not happy
I can't tell you in a sentence
And I'm not asking for time
So you can hear my story
Cutting it short would still take too long
The summary itself would take all day

The smiles are fake yes
But not these scars
So if you ever see me
Look the other way
You'll see nothing more than a mask
Deemed undesirable even at a masquerade
This isn't a charade
Or a game I'm playing
I don't need your attention
I'd rather be left alone
Because you'll want to know
Why there is so much blood at my feet
Why the scars I have are the only thing that's real

I'm not the person everybody knew back then
I'm just the kid looking for a way out
No escape ropes
Or secret passage ways
I want a clean way out
Making sure to never end up
Back in the pits
I managed to pull myself out of
I want to be free
From the mask I wear now
To quit my acting career
And finally be who I was meant to be
I'd like these scars to fade
And these smiles to be real
Because it's killing me
To be like this
I don't want to be the author
Of another tragedy
I don't want to dance
One of those fancy dances
I just want to smile for real...for once
He was a fireplace
in a brutal winter,
who's warmth extended
to me,
close enough to be embraced by it.
He was the first leaf
to fall in autumn,
giving me the guidance to land second.
He was soil
from the purest garden of spring.
Baring fruit
to nourish my
eager body.
And now
He is my protecter this summer.
A cloud wide enough
withstand the powerful sun.
He keeps me from the heat
of  raging hell.
The fire that boils hate
in my heart,
that turns violently
inside of my chest,
this summer night.
He protects me from
summers temptation.
He prays
for the seasons to change.
As your lips gently glide over mine
we swap deep dark secrets
with cracked, chapped lips
we share regretful memories
our soft warm lips overlapping
when we find contentment
your tender lips hungry for mine
as I find myself yearning for you
our lustful wet starving lips
a weakening passion
tender loving embrace
a breath taking need for you
First poem Ive written in a long time...i'm still a little rusty!
there is no longer a division between days...
it is just an endless phase of flashes of light, followed by prolonged darkness.
these eyes are tired but don't seem to close,
the ache that is deep within these bones.
drawing up blanks.
the words don't seem to fit.
but they dont need to.
its 3am.
lips deep in tea,
under empty blankets.
But then I remember why I am here...

the feeling in your heart stays
long after your lips depart.
no one has ever made me smile as much as him.
the simple things...

standing in the forest barefoot, alone, and in fear...
I gained more then I think I will ever comprehend.
when day after day you wake up to the sun rising through
the windows of a log cabin
you begin to see life in a different way.
have watched the stars rise above my head,
my body cold and wet.
the milky way and the scattered collage of lights...
the first thing that came to mind was him...

stars respresent the vast possiblities of life
anything is possible
the most beautiful things happen when you least expect it
like him...

Once you blink the moment is gone
two weeks later here I am...
from his flaws to his perfections
I love unconditionally...

No one is perfect,
there is differences,
there can be awkward silences...
nothing is pure, but the key is to growing and trying.
ive learned in the past two months
it can be hard sometimes in life
to be far from the one you love
or to be far from things you expected or known
but you cant give up
no matter how much it can be trying
in the end things will work out.
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