seems impossible at this point
cause every time we kiss
i can taste the ******* on your lips

and i'm starting to feel numb again

my PO asks about new track marks and i am too embarrassed to admit
i stay up half the night shooting blanks into my wrist

"i'm just trying to get high"

I work three jobs
I'm not home much but when i am i'm usually asleep
unless i'm pushing needles into veins
(which is actually more often than not)

you work part time and you're home more than you're not
unless you're out with boys who claim to love you when they're getting off

i'm angry about a lot of things and you ******* a grown man that still needs help paying rent is absolutely one of them

and she doesn't look anything like you

and shes's warmer than she is angry and she looks at me with these eyes

and they aren't yours
so i should be happy
that's what everyone keeps saying
"i'm so happy you've moved on, you deserve someone who is good for you"

i know you're no good for me and i ******* love it
and i love you
i love the way you smell and the way you feel pressed up against my chest when we're together because when we're good we are so ******* good the world stops to smile at us

and i know i'm not good to you like i could be (should be)
but i'm trying

and i want so badly to be consumed by you
so what if you're ******* someone else
i'm still the one you love

disaster

i'm like comparing honey suckles to rose thorns

both of my arms ******* ache
in more ways than just longing for another needle

my house is cluttered with your ghosts

whispers telling me you're still coming home

you used to tell me you loved the way my voice sounded when i read my poetry to you
and now i don't ever feel like writing

except i saw you two days ago
and you said i tasted sweet and you kissed me like we were still getting married tomorrow

and i've wanted to die ever since

except you called me names and slapped me hard and it didn't feel like making love

except for when we kissed and suddenly i was drowning

you're ******* other people and i'm trying to pretend like that doesn't bother me
he hurts you when he ***** you and you come curl up in my arms for safety so how can you tell me he loves you more

or that you love him

we made love again

even if it was angry and rough
we still made love
over and over and over again

every time you looked at me

I am dope sick for the third time this week
which means at least three times this week i've gotten so high my body couldnt handle the come down
which means i'm shooting for a fourth

you have a new boyfriend
except you wont admit to me how you feel about him because you think i still love you

i still love you
which means i'm sick from more than just the dope
which means i still havent gotten over you

but four times says i'm **** well trying

I CAN'T STAY CLEAN LONG ENOUGH TO THINK ABOUT YOU
*******
I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING I HAD AND YOU BLAMED ME WHEN I WAS ******* EMPTY
YOU TOOK EVERYTHING *******