alone
forgotten
never given any time
to try to see
the light
at the end
of
the
tunnel

I don't know
My life is upside down
Blood rushing to my head
Instead of circling all around

I don't know what to do
About the dampening sadness
All I can do is stop feeling
Stop caring

I want to help
There are so many people out there that are more important
That feel like this way for a reason
But not me

I never want to see him again
His smiling eyes
His false emotions
What he used me to do

I want this pain to go away
The suffering to end
But nothing can help me now
Nothing can show me light

From Sadness
To Suffering
To Death
To a final release

Moods can change and switch
Sometimes on their own
Making a sad moment exciting
Making a happy moment dreadful

Like flipping on and off a light switch
These emotions change
Not on purpose, of course
The emotions rearranged

If a day wasn't already hard
This would make it harder
Being dragged into an abyss
This is what it's like to be bipolar

For the first time in a while
I woke up with a smile
It was plastered on my face
Almost perfectly placed
Getting my morning routine done
Was for the first time, fun
And I left with that smile
Stuck upon my face

Walking down the street
Making rhythmic sounds with my feet
I finally felt like I belonged
Not a character in some sad song
I talked to people without a problem
Like my anxiety was gone
And I got on the bus with that smile
Stuck upon my face

Walking into school
Something that is normally a blur
Was for the first time exciting
The pull to learn enticing
I couldn't be any better
As I type out each letter
To this ode to a day
Without any dismay
And so I continued my day with that smile
Stuck upon my face

Pay attention to your surroundings
Always count exits
And cameras
And make sure you aren't alone
For loneliness causes the voices to surface
And you know what happens then

Convince yourself you have company
Even if you're alone
Crying in a corner
Facing sword-wielding demons with a rock

Alone
Hurt

Waiting for your savior
To come from above
To help you resurface

They never come

Someday, my punishment will end
I'll be free form this hellish earth
Until then I must mask myself
And serve my sentence with diligence

I walk these roads alone
With thoughts swarming through my head
Music in my ears flowing like water through them all
Like air through a spiders web

The water drowning my thoughts
Them fighting for air
Soon they will give up
Freeing me from their despair

Days blend into weeks
Mind dulling and dying
But it's okay, for in the end
My soul will go back to hell

All I know is the sadness
That claws up through my throat
The screams and wails of my demons
Wanting to release their pain and agony

All I know is anxiety
The scary fact of living
Everything I’ve ever known
Disappearing into oblivion

All I know is heartbreak
The emptiness of my heart
The source of all my sorrows
Everything tearing me apart

No matter what I feel
No one will see
No one will notice
No one will care