All I know is the sadness
That claws up through my throat
The screams and wails of my demons
Wanting to release their pain and agony

All I know is anxiety
The scary fact of living
Everything I’ve ever known
Disappearing into oblivion

All I know is heartbreak
The emptiness of my heart
The source of all my sorrows
Everything tearing me apart

No matter what I feel
No one will see
No one will notice
No one will care

I'm ready for the words you spit
I'm ready for the obscenities you scream
I'm ready for the sadness to overtake me
For the thoughts to take me over

You have no emotion as you yell
You have no reason to say what you do
You yell anyways though
But not loud enough for the neighbors to hear

I am ashamed of you and how you behave
A sorry excuse for a stepmother
Yet you stick around
My mother blind to the way you treat me and my brothers

No matter how hard I try
You always come back
With new reasons to yell
And get into my head

GET OUT
Leave me be
GET OUT
Stop me from my madness

You've caused this
My sanity slipping
Resorting instead to the peace
Of insanity and death

So when people say I don't have it bad
Because I have a roof over my head
At least they don't have to worry about
How much pain they'll be in that night

Pain caused by words
Pain caused by actions
Pain caused by others
Pain caused by myself

You wear leather
As dark as your heart
You speak words
As sharp as a knife

You smell of cigarettes
And sometimes cologne
You wreak of Jack Daniel's
But mostly depravity

You lurk in the shadows
And prey on the young
You desire a girl
But only one night

You tell her your lies
To trick her to stay
And then like a coward
You run away

Who am I really
What am I doing
Where do I belong
When should I care
Why am I here...

Once, I knew her words to be somber sickening little things. The burdens she carried so heavily on her white and withering wings. Alas it was she who showed me the truth, that beauty may be found in heavy words. Fit to pull the heavens down to earth they were, and that was the birth of me. When all merry mirth found a new place to hold residence; in the sad and somber. ‘Twas after this I found myself chasing memories of her seductive shell. ‘Twas after this where halos only fell upon horned heads which could do no wrong. It was thanks to she that I saw beauty in weighted wings.