At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

At times we need some times we want swimming threw a creak in to the swamp I step I sink I move I drop. A Lil bit lower I brings me down with every step I keep on pushing muddy and soaking wet I loose my shoes and can't see where I step my pants are soaked and waighs me down I take them off with no regrets not much further till I see some success  forward I move while I bleed out sweat  I push I pull watching  out for what I grab  life can hand u something that bites or stabs I dream of snakes  when I meet some new only a few can help me threw    this mucky land  I can't afford to sink further then I sand my knees my my waist my chest my neck any further it's worse then death I watch I pray I push away every day I choose my way I help I breath or I'm in the breeze all I want is this mud to stay from under my feet be careful who u choose when it's time to meet cause some will leave u dead and beet

I learned how to fly 4 nothing

shattered my own broken heart
diminished to the lowest feeling
belittled my confidence
i steered  my self to a dead end  
i crash thinking i could love again
after my love left this earth  
the remembrance of her appeared
in a beautiful soul
an Ora of an angle
reflections of lights off her skin in the dark  
my heart  instantly wanted to work again
dreams appeared my brain was focused
i had a chance and it was amazing
i felt the energy run threw my blood
the connection was incredible
but every time i saw this outstanding person
my love grew strong
but love she was not looking for
i strained my mind
shattering  my heart that was broke already

Only in life a mind body and soul is all in one
When we sleep our mind and soul freely run
The time will come are soul will leave
Reincarnate to who we are supposed to be
The sun the moon the stars do last
But are body's are just an hour glass
Time will tick it can only live so long
It goes so  fast  but no need to run or dash
Love the ones and cherish them b4 they pass
Cause only in your dreams they will always belong
Time is ticking till it stops and are mind body and soul separates and move on

to truly think existence is a matter
im still here but dont feel seen
my mind reacts with depression
lost in a cave under the sea
droning slowly
hopping to be noticed
and i was
pulled out of my doubt
refreshed with faith
but it was just for a few moments
i got so excited that i was found
rambunctious i became
*** i felt like i was loosing my way again
and the more i push i started swimming down
down to that cave i droned
with more pain i had
no matter how much people help
it feels like they ruin me more
i sit in deep waters with pruned hands
waterlogged and warped  
comfortable with being alone
for that water i soak in is my tears
and that dark cave is my head

I'm like a star
Millions of light years away
from any thing
No one is around
I shine by my self
Things float along
But to hot to come close to
I travel alone
I conversate with my self
No one shows up when I need help
No one not no one
it seem like
I only know how to make people leave
Walk away walk away
Know matter how good I do
No one stay no one stays

I'm on a plain
I must of past cloud nine
She speaks of life
Like life is just to deal with
what ever your ddealt  
Hidden card a bluff of fearless
In it to win it
kknowing theirs an option to loose
She speaks of life
like an unborn's mood
TTreasures of dirt
As if it was gold
Salted waters
and waves of creation
bbeginning to mold me
Like life is just an illusion
No one can make u feel
no one can let u down no one can pick your self up
Only your wave of creation
The vibes u want are the vibes u make
timeless placement in a selfish state
she shows me life
as if it's was never existing



The angels watch and keep me strong
Apear in my dreams and tell me the wrongs
Show me the paths and sometimes the future
they never gave up and always been truthful
Hand over hand I rest with in good arms held by the tightest
Guardian  arms every day I walk and their hands in my palms

Lost in the crowd
Alone and hurt
The pain runs thick
No one is beside u
No one is with u
Not one person really cares about u
I do nothing wrong
I do nothing right
I'm so sad inside it akes my heart
This is the worst depression
The pain is insane  
I can't live with it much longer
I'm getting weaker and weaker
I just know I don't be long here

My last words shall not be spoken
Heartless moods and selfish tokens
Doors are locked so none can open
slit my throat and gouge my eyes
Rip my tongue  and chop my prints
I shall not hear it may not speak
Can not feel and I must not see
this life has been cursed for me
I fall in love but never loved
Me sober is a high of drugs
A king of kings with a mood that swings
pleasure makes it worse

I can't wish I can only feed I give food
To the ones who need
The ones who feed me
Are only a part of a dream
But it seems I hold on to a part
That will only fall apart on me

It's not that I'm to serious my emotions run deep I laugh I play I joke but in side my smile is crushed with grief my heart twists splits and rips every with every breath to the point I have a painful feeling like somethings missing in my chest I cry day by day tears run dry I don't know what's wrong with me but emotionally I can not fly I allow no one in my head and let alone my life I drink I drink I drink I drink till its time to die sleep for days and wake up knowing that my  life is just not right

Let it be
I know it's me
I hear it often
Really sour but spoken sweet
my hearts been broken  
And now it's rotting
Cold cells run threw my warm blood
I have issues yes because
U lost mmy trust
I wish u didn't do that cause u lost my love
Feeling used beat down and hurt
It's worse then hearing
that your dieing  since your birth
it's really messed up how my life works

You lie you lie u lie
U had me even lie for u
U lie to them
U will lie to me too
U lie u lie u lie
Your words make no sense
U speak gibberish
U mix up the truth
And blow your own spot
I believe  nothing u say
Except for that it's a lie
This is not the first time u looked me in the eyes
U lie u lie u lie

So sad

Just waiting to dies slow
The pain is no better then the lies
heart akes with every breath
sadness and the feeling of nothing let
it's binds up and squeezes tight
Putting me out of place in a twilight
blood flow out of my eyes
hurt and heart broke from life
No friends to help out no one's around to see my torment
my life is a disaster  my soul is locked up in an air tight box
No time to breath no feeling of free no relaxation
And no self esteem
Fought for the end but now I'm just waiting
Theirs nothing left but pain and  paytionts  
Waiting to die I'm anxious

It's JUST a feeling
Dwelling in my soul
CChewing me up and spitting me out
Used and then let go
Smile in my face
Rip my hheart out from the back
Misunderstood and always attacked
No one really likes me
Just friends cause I'm easily used
No one sticks around left for dead
Abandoning  me with nothing said
I guess they where not amused

If u are done u are done
I always new I was not your type
I felt that once B4
I have not yet found what I am looking for
I can not seem to keep anything
For the most part
I have  no time for the same old jokes

In the end are looses are really a win
A win that can't be beaten..
A lesson can be brought up as a downer
No depression  is just insane
Everyone wins everyone hurts everyone lives with them selves
Chances are always given u have to fall to stand back up taller
You have to loose to fight harder to win
Don't just take anything as a loss cause everything that goes on in your life prepares u for your next step forward

I already mastered a woman's heart she's gone
I cry every night I make a river from a pond
I finish bottles with dark sky's and bright stars
Me and a full moon have this bond
Damage done my eyes dont dry when i hear the words from young
It's crazy how things haunt u and it's all over with nothing said or done
I like to enjoy my moments and I'm so much better alone
Cause I can't explain my self nor do I like to go home
I can't sleep till I'm good and ready
my smiles a charmer but my eyes give me a way
So just have a drink with me cause anyone can be gone in a day

Things are the way they are
Come the way they come
And go the way they go
I can only change my life
And choose which way it flows
I'll never know the ending
Till its the time for it to end
Never realized how much thing can really disappoint
And only feel it's my fault
I'm gunna start putting my thoughts in a volt
I enable even when I don't even try
It's like people look at me and get a contact high
I just want to  liv and have a good time
I can just sit and talk or we can believe we can fly
All the things I try to do.. its like life says never minds
Just starting to feel what I want and like I will always be denied
I'd like some good in my life
And about to work hard to try

God will guide u
Love and direct u
From this hell of survival
Clear u from your rival
Choices are made
Up to u which one u decide to
Love is why I'm alive
U have decisions
Your destination is awaiting your arrival
Your choice .. how ever u want to make it
You travel your own paths
Emotions may clash
Success  may not last
For better or worse
Things happen for reason
Go with it learn from the past
It takes time to heal after a crash
Just don't give up
Change up make life
Take out the trash

Lost ones still communicate
Their souls are still around
Your love for them hurts u
Flashbacks from a sound

Lost ones still communicate
Threw dreams or a bbreeze
Goosebumps out of nowhere
From the sounds of the trees

I tell u they haunt  me
My loved ones are with me
When I close my eyes
or when I don't like what I see

I tell u they tell me
watch me threw the sky's
or their right next me
looking dead in my eyes

I still ask questions
They still second guess
I never follow my gut
I follow the gghost on my left

My best friends tthey haunt me
My ex girl is still here
some times I feel her squeeze me
a Lil will my eyes tear

I love feeling them around me
they help me see somewhat clear
I know I'm never alone
Cause they show me their souls are still near

No choice no mind no option no opinion money money money money learn to live l8k3 a prince **** it I run my kingdom

Not everyday can you wake up gets ****** over and be nice about it..
Apologies mean nothing I can live with out it
But to do the same thing over and over I ain't really about it
My stubborn is careless but I hurt no one but me
I go behind no one's back lie or just leave

A poor man's soul once told me u can live blind and still be able to see
Or u can have site and live life blindly

I care way to much till I begin to get hurt I still don't give up till I feel I'm lessening my worth

I've been left for dead more then a dozen even by family often by people I can call cousin  or by people u think u can love.. I must of been buggin

Never really had no one always chose to be alone theirs so much drama in the word and to me it's just better for it to be unknown

Still in this till the end
I sheltered my soul can covered my heart
I agreed to stick to my self
And just stay here alone

Falling in and out of trapped doors
We close one another opens
When it rains
The drops free my enslavement  
As I rise up from the floors
I maintain a slyte grin
It poor my eyes gloss
Determined  to chance a risk
I role my dice
For a hand of cards I chase
I awake  twisted with illusions of snakes
Granted I look at my friends first
Enormal I think I know I feel
Nothing alters a vain of blood
As they hand me water
Feed me lies
Tell me I'm special tell me I'm strong
Help me coexist from the pain of time
They feed me lies
Trash my trust
And stab my back
The **** my heart and
Grab my stash
They claim we make perfect sense
I stand alone
I gave up hope
I'm on my own
With a pain unknown
I gave in 100%
No I give nothing 100%
Played by vulcherz  
Just for Lil rocks
Now I'm altered in to a selfish state
I want nothing
That's just the music I face

Sadness... I've lost way b4 I knew what loved ones truly are... I have lost with the card I was handed ..
Once you throw every thing away  you will

Be dealt the next hand

Who cares no one.,,,,i am worth millions ... and rather die b4 I touch any penny alone no one will give me enough love to spend a dime  it ***** cause I suffer for the fact no love will take me for being broke ... I'd rather stay broke  ******* American girls ..... it's a great big world

If I fly does it mean I have super strength  
If I win it doesn't mean I'll ever loose again
If I cave in
It don't mean I'll be stuck with in
under neath this rrebble
If I live
as free as I can be
it don't mean I'll liv forever now
life is timeless we can only get it ttogether now
It's endless so let's get it together now
if I scream
I sing out from my heart With in
if I speak I speak out from my heart right now
If I breath
I won't ever try to hold it in again
even from under water the bubbles rise
in time it takes seconds to feel alive
So let's get it together now
just get it together now
we can live for ever now
as long as we can breath this second
we are living fforever now
Let's just get together now and get it together now

Let me see the flaws of the worst of u
Open up till your negativity reacts
I want to see just to know
Let me see rage unleashed
Pain set aside I'd like to get to know the other u
Instead of hiding and acting one way
Cast away these spells of addiction
Open your eyes and let it go
Shaking with withdrawals  biting cheeks with grinding teeth
Let me see the best of u the change for the best
I'd like to know who u are I've already seen the worst of u
Nothings changed I'm still aware
I fight for a Chance  of a second shot
Soaking in my own sweat restless nights beginning days
I open up for u I'd change
By my self I am weak
And no one else seems to see
I spoke to u like I pray to God
Hopping for another shot
Years I gave up on me know one cared no one tried
But around u I felt alive
Damaged soul felt lifted and hole
The way u touch the feelings u mold
Chased away ran down my dreams
I close my eyes and its your eyes I see
For a long time you where the only one who bettered me

Released in the colors of gray
Hidden beneath besides or above
Always their in the light
But the Darkness be hind it's matter
Some times look bigger then it should be
Or smaller then what it really is
It would walk with u at all times
and stay with u till the end
Some times I feel my shadow is my only friend
It never speaks back and does exactly  what I do
The only one ever around when I need someone
The only thing in my life that hasn't hurt my feelings
Or stabbed me in my back
My shadow is my best friend

Blends in my soul
Block blood that fills my veins
Enchanted from the moons mistakes
Breaths have been taken
Moods mistaken
Darkness in the light we shall
Walk on clouds broken down .
In this llightweight heave
When the darkness bleeds
my life must start right now
Being hopeless brings me hope
Hate and strain is blemished with coats of pain

It's only a negative to me when feelings arupt
Love is fake and emotions cerupt
It takes control and it's hard to ajust  
My hole life I'd just take it and rush
Nothing ever last all it does is mess with my head
No one is real I'd just rather be dead
I stay alone even with a crowd
Only people play with my head and tare my heart down
Just a feeling of me that no one likes it's
When I accompany I'm just left alone it's not the first Time.
I tear my way home
.setting a ground no one is aloud
I'm meant to be alone and alone I am now

The world can't ajust
It spins and it wharls
Twisting and turning
On a line with the pearls
Spinning it's coarse  
Night and day
24/7 it's runs threw it's way
This world will not stop
Not for me or you
This world will keep going
After u and me
*******  us down
With the power of gravity
Chemically inclined for man
Are kingdoms are berieal ground
Are former land
The weight  it takes on the punishment  we give
It just keeps spinning  as its all life that it gives
Power to be promised it still runs it's coarse
The wait on my shoulders is no wait at all
But the emotions in my head and the feelings I get
The reactions I give and the sadness I sweat
I look in the world I see life and it's views
The only thing I don't get is why it's so tight in my shoes
I have everything to gain and really nothing to loose
I've been alone and can't seem to find a way I keep on circling the same coarse and nothing good comes my way
I just want to rip out my heart and mind and start over with out thinking or feeling this way

Waisted in a land of misary
Tourmented by my self
Cursed till the death of me
Lonely forever ill be
Singled out from  my pain
Looking in I can't see
Hurting cause its blinding
Lost alone
I find something to love
But they will never love me
I lay in bed for days no one even questions
Not one person would ever know
I drink my self to death
Drag my self to live
Owell is how I take it
Another on bites the dust
My feelings get the best of me
Overwhelming  my self to change
I'm eaten half way in side
My heart seams to fall even more apart
Shattered from this hell
I wake up just to pass back out
Day by day I live my life
Wondering why its so bad
I can't leave alone what I like
I push and push away
My stupidity gets the worst of me
My shame brings me down
I fall apart easily but since birth I worked it out
I can not have no one in my life
Cause when I do I fall in love and drag my self back to hell

Existence
Here nor their
A Pease  of matter
That really don't matter
I exist but don't
I feel invisible
Like the air that surrounds me
But stagnant
Only if one can see
I'd give my all to them
Undermined
I'd probably get struck by lightning
B4 someone will stay
I'm just a good time for just a night
my undivided atention is unwated
my love is never needed
My pain grows with every one I meet

I know this girl that laughs the same way she cries sounds like she gasps for her last breath be for she dies she keeps the struggle in her bubble dead in the center of her eyes she fakes lies till u look deep down black a to a pupil of her life she hides it good but every day she wants to die  I'd rather live she screamed out the choice is mine  this is my cancer and I own it with pride

I would sit and relax but
I have to watch time fly
Are mess is cleanable
Hurt but still desire
Lust is not love
But having love does not truly mean your in love
I can't help but see
And it's all not good
In time we grow old
And knowing this
And knowing that
Are two different things
I truly be leave I will go older alone
I can not fall in love anymore
It's just disappointing
And I refuse to go threw it
My mess can be cleaned
And I will try and help
Anyone who needs it
The last girl I really wanted a good relationship with
Took the last peace of my heart
And I would definitely stick by her side
But she is done with me so I am done with dating
Only in time only in time
I will not look I will not search
I try my best when it can to relationships  
But now to me it just don't matter anymore
I live my life a single soul

It don't bother me if u don't like me
I don't like me
I never expect things to go the way they go
It's un expected
U entered my life.... life is just a fling
And that's all i expect everything to be
A fling I pushed u away for a reason
No one ever sticks around
But don't fight with me to stay in my life
Just to make me hate my self even more

It's pretty sad when u only attract pain sorrow or addictions
One word about it it bring confertational confliction
Their is nothing wrong with u I know that's why u chose me as a friend... deep down inside I can read people's mind souls and actions
I was taught to see deep I lead only the week to a free mind and a chance to seek... I allow your soul to freely express tears run threw pain hurt or worry... I can redeem your presents Ora and blurry.. me my self I have more issues then u my heart pounds harshly when I close my eyes it's like a wiplash in a threshold going threw a black hole but it only happens when I'm sitting alone I panic for no good reason and inside out of nowhere I feel like I'm bleeding  I tear up constintly and shiver like I'm freezing .. with a foot on my chest or like Jesus is kneeling my hole life was just a painful unpealing stripped  down to my soul for the beginnings unwheeling

Sleep walking my life
Their but not truly
I like to find some one who doesn't want to loose me
but we just hold on loosely  
I'd like to be smothered held on too and covered
I'd like to have everything I've never had
Kept in line with smiles and cries
some day I could say I've never been so glad
Mend my heart no rubble dert or dark
Just a love with fireworks and sparks
Some one to mend my heart

A slave to love a dark time for my heart to feel  a sucker  that punishes him self from a deep pain of feeling ice cold this world is ice cold I must not become..  a four letter word that rips me to peace every chance it takes  cursed since birth is a feeling I will never learn to deal with  torments me and brings me down any chance they can I will only breath steam in this ice cold world cause me heart is to big to give up on love

Is it wrong to not trust you
Do me wrong and still love u
Want to gain it back at the same time
Knowing it's just not gunna happen
emotionally steaming trying to work it out
High and dry u left me
Hoping u understand my anger
And y I always bring it up
in my mind I had enough
But my heart is more like don't be a stranger
Can't really seem to get a grip
Feel lied and cheated on some foolish ****
I keep putting my self in danger
Just cause of my loneliness

Really y even bother
They did nothing 4 u
Take your time leave u hanging
High and dry
Really y even bother
Used u for your money
Waisted  your time
She never loved u
She never cared
Y even bother
Y even care
U did nothing to her
U tried to help
She lied to your face
Day one and day two
She played with your emotions
Hanging with other dude
Y should I bother
Y should I care
U put food in her mouth
Gas in her tank
Made u look like the bad guy
And just threw u away
She would take your money and just run away
I slept with my wallet and my keys on the bed
Left them under my pillow right under my head
Y should I have love
I had faith I truly cared
But she damaged the trust
The threw me a side
She leave me for a couple days just to get high
I spent any dollar I had on her for or with us
But she wanted more then that
She got high off the rush
I can't even bother now don't even care
I have more things to worry about
Then someone who's not their

I know this girl
That laughs the same way she cries
sounds like she gasps hher last breath B4 she dies
She sacrificed her life
for her child's bright blue eyes
She tried her hardest to stay alive
She battled her pain
To see her baby's first breath
Just to let go of the last beat in her chest
Her strength held on with every push
And now her soul lives on to make sure that child is good

She always like to leave me
She always likes to leave me
With a shadow of a doubt

I go to the end of the earth
To see the galaxies reflection
In the waves and calm waters
The ripples begin from a breeze
Still looking downwards  up
From a distance
Like looking half way threw the mirror
The sounds of the clashing white waters Magnifies  
And expands the mind like a hulusanagen
Open from all angles   u can feel each element around u
Free and exact
The night of day
The breath of the sea
The fire of light
And the land we comfortably control like it means nothing
If I can live and breath the site of a beach every night
I'd fully be at peace

i build a wall of stone
directly around my soul
with just enough space to feel free
i let people in threw their mind

The stars disappear the moon follows and the sun comes out... as long as u pay attention to the lights in the darkness u will find your way to a bright day...