I need to remeber what it felt like to have a blade run across my skin

I need to remeber the feeling of relief when the pain starts

I need to remeber the joy I get when I pick up the knife

I want to know the feeling I get if i burn my skin

I want to know if it feels better or worse than the knife

I need to do it one more time

Don't you hate it when you love somone

and you would **** anyone who tries to hurt them

but they are the ones holding the gun?

My heart still may beat


but im no longer living

Strong independent
This we all want to be
To bad this world leaves us
Depressed insecure and lonely
Is there any one truly happy
Is there such a thing
How can i hope for a life without misery
When pain is in every note the bird sings
In every breath a child takes
In between the empty i love yous
The meaningless i do's
Why do we even pretend we are happy
We all know it's not true
We are all slowly dieing
And none of us know what to do

I want someone to hear me complain about my day
I want someone to lend me their shoulder
I want someone who wont complain when i wake up at midnight to cuddle
I want someone who thinks sorry is enough
I want someone to love me
I want someone who is there for me
I want somone

I learned that men can't heal my wounds
That no matter how many pictures i send
I can't believe im actually a ten
No matter how many guys to get to like me
I can't like myself
The last one i talked to was 21
Younger than the others
But still couldn't unage me
Couldn't make me forget the things they did to me
Im sorry i can never fully be yours
I gave my heart to every soul that has a photo of me
Now im left with nothing
This is torture
But you see i learned
U can't find happiness in lovers
And love can't be found
Till you love yourself

I wish
we could drive
out to the middle
of nowhere  with
you and talk
under the stars

Anyone can write a deep poem
I can write about sucide
or texting while you drive
this thought just came to my mind
because one of my friends
new to this site
she wrote a poem that got 17 likes
and I was jealous
because I cant write as good as her
I really wish I could
because I want that
I want people to like my poems
and appreciate me
like they do her
to top it off
she is younger than me
and it makes me feel
like I can't write poetry
and then I thought of stoping
I mean what is the point of writing
if your writing
isn't the best
what is the point of joining this contest if your gonna lose
what is the point of that
I really want to end this poem on a high note
talk about how I changed my mind and I will gloat
I just don't feel like it
I feel like my poems
aren't good enough
that i should change how i write
that my poems should be more like stories
and not conversations with my readers
some of you might be sayin " I cant believe her"
because you think I'm doing this to get people to tell me
my writing is great
but Im not
I don't wanna be put on the spot
I don't wanna make you say
Your writing is great
you don't have to say anything
I just wanted to tell you how I feel
I just wanted to tell you what I thought about my poetry

Dont you wish death could **** the people who want to die?
A man walks infront of a bus and survive
But a kid on his bike hits a rock
Hits his head and instantly dies
Am i the only one who thinks it's not right?

I hate my life

I want everything that is right

to go wrong

They wanted to Ask me what it felt like to not have anything left

and all i was

was upset

I dont want my problems to go away

I dont want to be saved

I like being lost in a dark maze

then i dont


have to see the light of day

and maybe that makes me crazy

but i dont wanna be ok

Tell me how to get over it
how to be sober and live with it
how to stop craving their presence
and be ok with it
tell me how to get over it

Tell me how to get over it
how to forget a person was ever here
forget the pain they left
forget the depression that is here again
tell me how to forget

tell me how to forget the promises they left
the love they sent
and they violently took back
the pain they gave
the same pain I still feel
tell me how to understand
how she left

People annoy me
especially girls
spend an hour in the morning
to get rid of your beautiful natural curls
while others do the opposite
spend hours in the morning to make their hair straight
Im tired of it
Everyone trying to be like someone else
Not realizing someone is trying to be like you
but you don't believe its true
right not you may be thinking
I know people like that but I'm talking to you
Your living in a fantasy
A world where you are ugly
Step into light
Out of your fantasy so you can see
and believe
So you can see for yourself
why you are beautiful to everyone else.

Hoplessly waiting

Carelessly flaunting

All i want to do is feel something

If home is where the heart is
Then I guess my home is you

She had to get it out
So she would write in her notebook
And she would write
And write
And write all of her pain away
Until the only place it exist is on the page

One day
Someone found her pain
They read between the lines
It opened his eyes
He tried to get help
Or would of I suppose
If she didn't walk up
And told him not to go
"There only poems
They mean nothing to me"
But if he lifted up her sleeve
He would of seen her pain
But he let go
" she said she was ok"
Even though he saw in her eyes she was lying
He didn't want to get into it
It's her problem not mine
A few weeks later he went to her funeral and cried
you told me you where ok!
It's your fault not mine!
You deserved to die!
After screaming people stared in dismay
So he was escorted back to his seat
And he wrote down his pain
And he would write and write and write
All of his pain away
Paying one day
Someone would see his pain
And read between the lines
Realize he's not ok

I'm tired
but all i do is toss and turn

all i can think about
is a blade cutting my skin

all i can remeber is the blood on my fingetips

all i can do
is dream about what it would be like for one more cut

but when i want to do it
when i decided its time

I see your face

and i remember
you don't want me to live this way

you believe in me
when i didn't believe in my self

you trusted me
when i didn't trust you

And now when my mind says
One last cut

I see your face
and remember you don't want me to live this way

When I was 5
My mom had a car accident
shes disabled to this day

From that age on I had to help her everyday
and now
its still the same

My father gets angry
he screams
he yells
he pushes
he throws
he pins

I have a little sister
I make sure my dad doesnt hurt her
to the extent that he has hurt me

My methods can be shady
If she is doing something that will get her in trouble
I do something worse

It keeps her from getting hurt

I use to cry a lot
about my life

My dad use to scream at me to stop crying
that it wasnt right

I would right sorry a million times
and he would throw away the paper

I would do whatever he wanted
just for that nod of approval

and he wouldnt give me anything

all A's on my report card
taken care of my sister
and my mom

cooking
cleaning

No thank you

"It's your job to do that, why would I thank you for it?"

Then I would cry
and he would scream
I would say sorry
He wouldnt acknoledge me
I would do more
he wouldnt say thank you

and this went on and on

until

I stopped crying
I stopped trying
I stopped feeling
I put on a mask when I was 7 years old

I pretended to be something im not
when I didnt even know who i was

I stopped feeling
and became the monster I am today

I'm dragging you down with me

i dont want you to get hurt

but i dont wanna die alone

You remind me of her
All to well
From the suicide jokes to the lack of faith in me
Your so similar it scares me to hell
Because she died
And you did too
And now I'm stuck here torturing myself wondering what would happen if I lost you
And it could  happen
Any day now
Any second
And you wouldn't of known...
Please
Don't go
Because if you go to heaven
I can't follow you
As much as I would like too
I have people here
And I promised myself never to leave somone like she left me
No matter how hard life got
No one deserves to know that type of grief
And your my best friend
I won't tell you no to a lot of things
But you can't die from this
You can't leave me
Again

Don't try to tell me what I can do
my whole life people have told me things about myself that aren't true
Don't tell me who I am because you don't know
You dont know the troubles I face or the places I go
Don't tell me you hate me
because you don't know me
and I dont know you
Don't try to confuse me
I know that is what you're trying to do
Just shut up
because I'm done listening to you

No one listens to me
My whole life has been listening
To people complaining
but no one knows the troubles I'm facing
Because no one hears me
When I try to speak
All I am is someone to lean on
But no one is ever there to hold on to me
When I fall
I always have to stand tall
Even when I'm broken
So people lean on me
Not knowing I'm the one who is really hurting

They scream for me
They want me back
Their claws tug at my back
and you where holding me
pulling me away from them
but then you left
And now I don't have a chance against my demons

When did I stop trying to save myself

Take my hand

and you will see the scars

That i left

waiting for you

to help me

She doesn't have a.hello poetry
But i can't stop writing to her
It's as if i need to send her this
To let you know
That she
That he
That they
All left me
And she is the worse of all
She was perfect
To perfect for me

Anybody here remember Claude? She was a user, but she must of taken her account down or something because I can't find her. It's really sad because I loved her stuff. She took a part of me with her.

All you have is your fire
so baby light it up
set fire to the world
shine brighter than the sun
we only have few choice
happiness is not one
so live through your fire
pretend you are one

All you have is your fire
the rest of the world is ash
your fire burned all of your friends
burned all you ever had
all it wont burn
is the pian of your past
so baby light your fire
make it last

I want to text him
So bad
It's as if I'm going through rehab
Addicted to the touch of his skin
And the sting of his words
But I won't
I can't
For you

i don't know what it is
But you make me feel like I can do better than this
Like the person I pretend to be
Could actually be me

You remind me of her
So much it hurts to talk to you
Or To look at you for to long
Because she is at the edge of everything you do
It seems as if she is behind everything you say
But more than that

You  are more than just her memory
You make me happy
Something I said I would never be
I Didn't know I could smile without her
And it's been so long since I truely have

I figured out why you are so special
I discovered what you can do
But I'm not going to tell you because if you don't believe it for yourself
You will never see it

I hope one day somone makes you as happy
As you make me
Because your changing my world
And I hope one day somone can change yours

Inspiration
Looking for the right words to say
And actually finding them

Beauty
Is writing a poem and all the words fit
Its writing a poem only some people can get

Poetry
is an art
the most beautiful poems find a notion and grasp it
Explain the idea inside and out
Leave you with a question on your lips

Being a poet is a gift
Inspiration is a blessing
Use it wisely

Don't let me fall
please catch me
I'm trusting you don't you see
I'm failing and you can't even see me
Please don't prove me wrong
See my faults
Catch me before i fall

I have been suicidal for as long as i can remeber

but its diffrent on the other side

I girl i met only three times

tried to commit suicide

and i went in my room and cried

the entire night

i barely knew her

I she was a friends friend

But if she actually died

I qouldnt be the same again

I dont have natural hair...
Get Over It.
yes being natural is great
I wish my hair would look the same
but it's not

My hair, its filled with knots
and they wont come out
when I was younger when I saw a comb I would shout
so my mother got tired of me screaming out
and she gave me a perm
when it first went in it burned
but after that it was fine

my mother just did what she thought was right
no need to start a fight
I think my hair looks alright
so your the one with the problem
you have hated my braids ever since you saw 'em
and you tell me I'm wrong
then you go sing your 'I'm natural song'
Yet your insecure
You don't like you hair as much as you like mine
and to tell you the truth I don't care if I'm wrong or right
I like my UNNATURAL HAIR just fine