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257 · Feb 2016
Untitled
Robert Guerrero Feb 2016
She said tomorrow
But tomorrow never comes
Yesterday was history
And today she remains silent
A lurking nomad
Trying to find home
But caves were made for bats
Why dwell in my chest?
255 · Oct 2015
Overdue and Too Late
Robert Guerrero Oct 2015
It's been awhile
I probably shouldn't say this
But hey
I know I wasn't much of a person
That could really be trusted and I'm sorry
I know apologies are too late
And all those poem I wrote to you
I still mean them
You were and still am on my mind
You know I have many talents
Writing and drawing
Remember that drawing I drew for us
I still have it
Still cherish it with infinite lust
To hear your voice again
To hear you say I'm lying when i said
I love you
I know I'm still a nobody
Life seems lost
And I dont want a sympathy party thrown
Or you thinking I'm trying to find myself
My torch went out went I let you go
When I failed to realize the greatest thing
In my life in my world
Was always on the other side of my phone
I wish I could make it all better
I wish sorry had value
I wish I never introduced myself
And brought my own chaos
Stampede through your chest
I'm a ****** person
I deserve to live with this guilt
With this pain
But I know eventually you'll forget
Who I was in your life
I'll become some guy you talked to
Some guy who said he loves you
Still knows your true identity
And will never forget
How I destroyed something perfect
I know you still resent me
Still have those built up homicide thoughts
Wanting to rip my chest open
Feed me my own intestines
I'm probably off base but it doesn't matter
I wish I had the proper words to say
But all I can say is...
Hey. I miss you.
Still a question in my mind. The perfect Mystery. Impossible to unravel.
254 · Feb 2016
Untitled
Robert Guerrero Feb 2016
Her body close to me
I never meant to chase her
She scouted me from across the room
Hands exploring every curve
Double D's firmly cupped
My calloused hands wanting to travel
Cradle the edge of her chin
As her lips press against mine
Alcohol taking over
These X pills kicking in
******* it why did it have to be like this
Finally feeling the softness of a woman's touch
After chasing my own tail
Hoping her feelings would come to meet mine
But anger blinded me
Love asphyxiating my judgement
True I stopped caring
But ******* I love this feeling
******* again for the first time
Since I said I love you
The third time since we stopped talking
I dont even know how I made it through work today
Candy lips still stuck on mine
How did I survive today
Two hours of sleep
Begging for morning ***
Before she's out the door
**** my life is so much better
Not caring whether I love or not
A major distraction in a minor life
I longed for this day
Enjoyed the last minutes of my birthday
Now I'm headed back to the club
Hoping to forget you
At the bottom of every drink I buy
254 · Feb 2013
What Have You Done To Me
Robert Guerrero Feb 2013
I hear your voice
I see you everywhere
I taste your lips
I feel your touch
I smell your perfume
Yet you are nowhere near
You left your mark on me
Im branded
Yours for all eternity
Yet you are not mine
What have you done to me
How can I taste, hear, smell, feel, see you
When your so many miles away
I love you
And whatever it is you did to me
Because it made me a better man
254 · Jul 2013
Torn (10w)
Robert Guerrero Jul 2013
Should I love you
Do I even know how too
253 · Jun 2016
Untitled
Robert Guerrero Jun 2016
She has hair that flows
She has ***** big enough for my hands
She has an *** too big for her pants to contain
She has my heart
For the rest of our days
But I can't help feeling
Like she still deserves better
She doesn't deserve someone so dark
So hateful to this world
She doesn't deserve to know the chaos
Hiding under milometers of flesh
I love her with all my essence
With all that I was, will be, and to come
Maybe one day I'll be the man for her that she deserves
But for now I'll work harder then ever
To get to that point
I love you Alexis Lynn
Maybe this was my destiny
A sign from death that she wasn't ready for me
I'm at home wherever her heart lays
253 · Feb 2016
She Was Everything
Robert Guerrero Feb 2016
She rode into my dreams
On the coattails of comets
Danced with constellations
And juggled planets
She was everything I could want
But reality called at 4:30 in the morning
She wasn't mine
Shackled to ideas that's she's fat
Ugly in every sense
But she had beauty
In the way she carried a smile
With gashes bleeding on her back
She had purpose in her walk
With cast-iron boulders bolted to her ankles
She was the epitome of perfection
Bundle in sweat clothes
Afraid everyone would stare at her ***
Because it shaked a whistle from across the room
She was everything
Any man could hope for
But she was a cab away
A ferry too far
A plane ride too long
She was unreachable
But maybe my heart will stop soon
And take a deeper look
At all the possibilities
That she could be mine
Maybe by then
Every fiber in my body
Will realize
Some dreams just never come true
No matter how many stars
You wish upon
On the early hours of the evening
252 · Apr 2013
HELP!!!
Robert Guerrero Apr 2013
I have writers block!! Somebody help me out here. Give me something to work with.
251 · Oct 2015
I Was Wrong
Robert Guerrero Oct 2015
You act as if I meant to do it
I remember when you called
I just had a beer
Fell asleep in the recliner
Couldn't hear who it was and hung up
You called back
******* me out for 5 seconds
But quickly turned to joy
I knew you were great
I never lied
I do love you
Why do you think I wrote a farewell letter
I wasn't good enough for you and never will be
I'm the **** of the earth
A heathen picking up crumbs
I remember that call
I remember I sat on the hood of my truck
Asked you to be my valentines
Because we both didn't have one
I wrote you a poem even though it wasn't my best
I tried to convince myself
The greatest lie I ever told myself
Was that maybe we could work
Maybe I did find that special someone
That missing puzzle piece
To this jumbled up brain
I'll say it over and over
Even when you refuse to listen
Hey, I really do miss you
I'll always love you
No matter how many times you say I'm lying
250 · Mar 2013
Whispers On the Wind
Robert Guerrero Mar 2013
They are screams from years of pain
They are cries from the helpless
They are whispers on the wind
That only a poet can hear
Because we write what we hear
We write what we feel
And we feel your dying whispers on the wind
So reach out to me
Reach out to the pen and paper
We hold out to you
Become a poet
Let the whisper on the winds
Echo in words
That you write
Be proud of your pain
Your hunger for suicide
Your thirst for freedom
Let those whispers be silence
Let them be heard
Silence the screams
All the cries for help
End it before it goes to far
Hear the whisper on the wind
And save someones life
Save them from their own pain
246 · Oct 2015
Thoughts
Robert Guerrero Oct 2015
Should have died
Never will believe in god
**** society
Emotions truly make you weak
Should have died
I'm pathetic
What the **** is there for me
A world with me in its crosshairs
Should have died
19 years held onto my self loathing
I'm holding too many secrets
Should have died
Wish I would have
Why do they torment me
Should have died
Listening to these voices
I'm fighting a losing battle
Should have died
**** it
I'll do it
I'll leave this world
With out a tear
Without a single thought
I'm as useless as thirty year old milk
Love my depression. Love my self loathing. But I love dying more. Greatest place to die is your mind. All it takes is the hounds of a revolver hunting the voices
244 · Feb 2021
Little One
Robert Guerrero Feb 2021
Smiles cross your face
Easy as dew drops on morning glories
Worries don't beckon you
In late night hours
Innocence radiates through you
Like sunrise in frosted trees
Little one with the biggest heart
Never grow old
Into a remnant of what I am now
Your path opens up
As my hands bleed
From carving your beginning
Keeping your feet warm
As you'll walk this journey
With wisdom I wasn't given
243 · Apr 2019
Am I Going Crazy
Robert Guerrero Apr 2019
Was I all along
Too blind to notice
Sanity a self illustration
Painted in the dark
242 · Jul 2021
Up-Down
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
Life's little rollercoaster
Full throttle
Short ride
Up
Down
Here we go
Can I ride another
Stuck on this loop
In circles I go
Somebody fix the tracks
Fired the maintenance crew
Can I bail out
It's been a suspenseful climb
Now dive down with me
No brakes
Stopping is overrated
Out of track
Do I keep going
Why not
Only way I'll learn to fly
When it's no longer
Up-down-left-right-around
Spam the buttons
Broken e-brake
Sad the last thing
I'll think about
Is why I never had a woman
Just to tell me
Riding an abandoned rollercoaster
Was a bad idea
Or restored it
Before I throttled it
Ha
Certifiable idiot

We interrupt this broadcast with breaking news....man dead after rollercoaster flew off tracks..more on this at 5

R.I.P.
Don't hold a memorial
Don't attend the funeral
Grab you a six pack
A pack of zigzags
Jar for the roach's
Bucket for the tears
Celebrate the moments
I was actually there
Grieve only for the notion
I became what I already was
A passing face
Dead before and after
I touched your tv heart
239 · Mar 2018
Barely Human
Robert Guerrero Mar 2018
I’m not always so cheerful
So talkative begging for smiles
Little pushes toward my own happiness
I’m barely human
Wanting to disappear
So I can forget the world
The way it tries to erase me
With every passing second
I’ll force a perfect painting
Of who I’m suppose to be
Just so they won’t see
How unhappy I truly am
Thinking the world hates me
That the next foot I put forward
The other will be dragged back
I’m barely human
Yet you expect me to be more
239 · Jan 2018
Took Too Long
Robert Guerrero Jan 2018
Took too long
Clearing my head
Uncertainties clouding
Insecurities piling
Am I good enough
Does your dad like me enough
Do I stand before him a man
Or a coward not sure
If I’ll be able to handle it
Supporting no longer just me
Barely managing my own chaos
Yet your eyes cut through me
Diamonds to glass
You saw a man
That could walk with you
Through hell and high water
A man worthy of your love
I never saw that’s what I became
But I know what I feel
Happy in your arms
Safe in your heart
Rich in your love
That’s why I have to lay claim
To your precious hand
And ask you to marry me
A question I never thought
Would make me happier
When it was answered
My proposal. Even though I asked you to marry me with a note on a shotgun shell that killed a deer. 2 years and it’s still not long enough. I’m glad I get to call you my soulmate.
237 · Apr 2013
To Emily
Robert Guerrero Apr 2013
Your young I know
But listen to my words
You want 10,000 views I believe
Here is some advice
Open your heart
Let your hand do the writing
Let your pen think for you
You have great potential
Emily
Don't just write a poem
And expect everyone to read it
Write a poem that means everything to you
About you and for you
236 · Jun 2017
Her Bed
Robert Guerrero Jun 2017
It's sanctuary
Not too far from the front door
It's a castle
Where she's a princess
Waiting for her white knight
It's a jungle
Where treasures are buried
Taboo on every step
It's a mystery
Where clues need to be found
On who stole her last cookie
It's a cave
Where she can hide
When things go bump in the night
It's her bed
Where she finds bedtime stories
Are things of reality
In her unconscious state of solitude
It's a finish line
Where her race with work
Gets celebrated
It's her Friday night every night
Her Saturday morning cartoons
With breakfast in bed
It remembers her curves
Always knows when to hold on
And knows when to let go
So maybe that little twin
Can rest assure
It's the only thing she loves
At the end of every day
Got the idea from a friend
232 · Nov 2021
I'm Leaving
Robert Guerrero Nov 2021
I grew tired of asking
What it would be like
When I'm no longer there
Not within range
For you to touch
For you to say hi
For you to hear from
For you to think
You saw me on the freeway
Or able to pick up
When you're broke down
Trying to hold it together
Wanting to get away
I won't be there anymore
Can't run out the door
So don't take it personally
When my feet sway
Parallel to the floor
It wasn't anything you did
It wasn't any reason why
I just felt I had to die
There wasn't anything
I could do to be better
I tried to avoid it
But it haunted me anyway
I was always going
Never knowing where
But I'm leaving
And I know when you learn
I'll be too far for you to stop
So save your tears
Forget all your fears
I'm exactly where I should have been
I'm leaving
Don't worry I'm fine
Nothing anyone could have said
Would make it easier
I just hope you find strength
To carry on through the day
Sorry I couldn't stay
I just had to get away
From the me I was becoming
Always running out the door
Just to find a purpose
That kept my feet on the floor
Now they're parallel to it
As I take my leave
From all the pain
I've gotten familiar with
I grew tired of wearing
My heart on my sleeve
So here's an I love you
Before I hit the road
I'll try to send a postcard
But where I'm going
I doubt has an address
Here's the PS just in case
I'm sorry for going
Now that I'm gone
Don't let a tear leave
I wasn't much of anything
Even though I meant something to you
I just couldn't stand
The fighting in my head
Every 2x4 snapping
As my mind caved in
I couldn't take it anymore
That's why I locked the door
And my feet sway
Parallel to the floor
230 · Jan 2016
I Forgot
Robert Guerrero Jan 2016
What it was like to cry
The way tears ice cold
Would feel acidic on my cheeks
Rolling down my face
Children playing on hills
What it was like to smile
The way lips still pink with life
Would bend upwards to my ears
Bringing joy to my face
Balloons inflating at each corner
What it was like to laugh
The way sounds echoed from my belly
Would sound amazing early in the morning
Pushing for you to enjoy
Annoying children wanting attention
What it was like to love
The way she smelled after a shower
Would drive me crazy as my nostrils flared
Begging to be brought closer and remembered
Homeless people with their hands outreached
What it was like to be complete
The way it gathered my senses
Would echo only my worries
Knocking on every door in the corridors of insanity
Orphans just looking for love
I forgot all these things that started me
Just empty shells and broken glass remain
Cardboard homes and lost hopes
Gathering in my abyssal chest
A void trying to be filled
I forgot what it was it was like
To have a heart and offer it to another
A meaningless sacrifice
To a god that never existed
Aztec myth and Neanderthal paintings
A warm embrace
Just a clash of two bodies now
Love no longer a word
Lost definition in my dictionary
What's the point of trying
When every perspective is misguided
Lies piled on each other
I'm tired of this memory I possess
I only want to remember what its like
To be human once more
No longer this monster
Intent on feeling nothing
Shows how much fear I own
To hide from more pain
Pain I couldn't dare burden myself with
I dont want to back
Back to the scars and puddles of blood
I want to go forward and be happy
226 · Jan 2016
Page One
Robert Guerrero Jan 2016
Staring blankly into oceanic stars
Searching for my titanic tragedy
Page one of every story
Seems to start off like I'm falling in love
I despise it, these thoughts
Letting cool breezes of comets
Brush through her hair
As if the cosmos aimed
To make her even more heavenly
Page one always seems to say
I can't stop thinking of you
Yet its never the case
I just dont want to stop
I'm an alcoholic to your affection
Growing bored of counting
Every wish I made on shooting stars
It seems I'm writing too much
For too little of a reason
I'll choke on the dream of oxygen
While you drown
Begging for it to leave you
We came from two different worlds
Seems my head floated a little too far
Past the clouds even I knew I should have escaped
While your heart was swimming
On the rim of the deepest trenches
Maybe oneday I'll get tired of writing about you
And your name will disappear into the stars
Like your feelings did at random
I wrote a long letter to someone...here is a poetry form of page one.
216 · Sep 2014
Walk With Me
Robert Guerrero Sep 2014
Leave your shoes in the car
Together we'll walk for hours
As you try to see
What is all wrong with me
You've asked me twice
Not even bothering to think thrice
What kind of man am I
Always wanting to die
Chasing butterflies that never existed
Thinking too long till my life twisted
This is who you see today
Going every which way
Just to find the heart
I thought I couldn't tear apart
But even tears leave tattoos
While loving someone seems taboo
Walk with me
Along side the salty sea
And realize that it's not us here
It's only me looking queer
Talking to myself like I'm insane
Calling out your name
Knowing all too well
Your going to see me to hell
I know your not around
But judging from what I found
Your walking with me
Even if its only one set of footprints
Going back to the peer
Tried rhyming this poem I wrote about an old friend
211 · Jan 2016
Never Meant To Be
Robert Guerrero Jan 2016
Some day the old bards
Will gather round from afar
Sing in unison the story
Around the great fire
Of the hunter and his beloved
Miles apart they managed to love
How she became weary of his absence
Began to love another man
One more closer to home
Less likely to leave for a hunt
One day the bards of old
Will sing how the hunter
Became a war god
Hungry for blood
Bleeding his anger
From the veins of all in his way
All he ever wanted was taken from him
It was never meant to be
She never truly loved him
She only loved the idea of him
211 · Mar 2019
6lbs 13oz
Robert Guerrero Mar 2019
So small
Fragile cry’s
Laying cement in my chest
Look just like me
With your mothers eyes
But how could I have helped
An architect to perfection
Innocent and beautiful
Our little bundle of joy
How can I not enjoy
The changing of diapers
The constant feedings
Wake up room service
Midnight calls
6lbs 13oz
Only 20 inches long
And already a bigger boss
Then her mother
Speaking Morse code
On every cry
Still blowing my mind
Your a product of me
Finally giving my life a definition
I know happiness beyond bounds
210 · Oct 2018
Our Own Version Of Tag
Robert Guerrero Oct 2018
Tag your it
Hey
Four days later
Tag now your it
Hey
A year goes by
Tag
I miss you
A month slips by
Where did we go wrong
From hourly messages
To random replies
Few hour conversations
Random philosophies
Sharing stupid little funnies
Hoping our jokes would chisel a smile
From the same path
Torn in different directions
Tag your it
I really miss you
I shouldn’t have let you go
I made excuses for myself
When my own problems
Got the best of me
There was a level of distrust
Etched into us from the beginning
Why did distance have to be the issue
Tag
I don’t know why
Your stuck in my head
Never touched
Never kissed
Yet I was always blessed
When your voice was the last thing
Whispering sweet dreams
Before we said goodnight
Tag
Always finding myself
Stuck asking questions
Hoping someone will give me answers
Yet I’m the only one asked
And the only researcher looking for clues
As I pass time flipping through pages
Scrapbooks filed in my head
Your voice still an echo
I have conversations with
When I’m lost in a daydream
Wishing this game of tag we play
Wasn’t the only way I could keep you
Forever in my life
Tag your it
Maybe now I’ll either find closure
Or find another step into insanity
210 · Jan 2019
Sign Here
Robert Guerrero Jan 2019
I made a deal with the devil
Sold my soul
For a cheaper price
Just to finger bang
These *** backward emotions
Out of existence
All I have to do
Is sign the dotted line
The deal is done
My soul is his
All for the knowledge
That she smiles
One more time before I go
209 · Feb 2021
Happy This And That
Robert Guerrero Feb 2021
What's so happy about it
Birthday
Valentine's
New year
Holidays
I seen another year
Don't want to
Only have to
There is no need for me
My existence useless
I'm only here for her
To bare my cross
And carry her burdens
Mask the pain of life
Happiness doesnt exist
At least not for me
I've seen glimpses of it
My daughter knows more about it
Then I ever will
If I can keep her smile strong
Depression will die with me
All malicious emotions
She'll never feel
That will be the only glimpse
Happiness will be seen
When I take all this negativity
To the endless abyss of my grave
Or maybe I'll be the reason
She doesn't remember me
And she finds happiness
In the comfort of that
Depression hit me hard today...
198 · Jul 2021
Tank on E
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
Just filled up
Ready to conquer
Miles upon miles
Stretched out
Untamed asphalt
Awaiting me
Yet I watch
Ever so diligently
As "Full" gradually drops
3/4
1/2
1/4
1/8
Dancing on E
Soon to be stranded
Thumbs out
Thigh might shake
Maybe a laugh
Will get someone to stop
Help me put fuel
In a tank ran dry
It won't help now
My gauge has been broke
I rigged it to be on "F"
When it's really bone dry
I've been running
On a tank stuck on E
No amount of prayer
You whisper in idle hope
No supply of hugs
You discount tirelessly
This gasoline engine
Intent on starving
Rather keep going
Depriving all maintenance
Oil leaks
Transmission slipping
ECM haywire
Throwing endless codes
Mechanics can't figure out
This one here
Ole Reliable
Old Faithful
We'll call her Betsy
Somehow
Someway
With a tank on E
Your destination you'll get to
Run ragged
Throttled till the lifters knock
Patiently dying quicker
Holding out
Till that one mechanic
Actually will take the time
Put forth the effort
Ever so effortlessly
Running part by part
Through and through
Fixing what needs it the most
Just so the gauges won't lie
And the performance
Will be dramatically improved
What more do you expect
When you got a tank
Stuck on E
And nowhere to fill-up
Where the price
Actually matches the sign
Or the quality of the fuel
Is genuine in it's conviction
To get you there
That place you need to be
Where the fuel is abundant
Maintenance is easier
All attention is set
On the perfect match
Between your fuel station
And my vehicular heart
Always wanting to go
Just no destination
Or company for enjoyment
Just a tank on E
Waiting for the towtruck
With salvage on the side
Crusher it is
Even if it runs and drives
No use without the fuel
To keep it going
197 · Jul 2021
Random Pieces
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
The great teachings
Wise old master
Kong fu is everywhere
Lessons in everything
Life is a puzzle piece
Mix matching
Wisdom to experience
Vivid in detail
How many pieces
Does the box say
Some finish early
Others way later
We each take the puzzles
Wear as poster boards
Rioting thru life
Chanting the purpose
We're given at birth
Questioning what it says
How do you believe
In something monumental
When you're not sure
How to start understanding
Random Pieces
We're given through
Just as random people
195 · Sep 2021
Notes..
Robert Guerrero Sep 2021
For these feelings
Foreign are they not
Heed thy anchors call
As too many moons have passed
Since the last breeze
Clung to cloth bedding
Pulling further away
For the love of the sea
Is stronger than the warmth
Any woman may bring
For her bounty may be blue
Yar to be warned
Her ***** be ever vast
Foreign are these feelings
Not
Foreign is the care
Not
Why your smile still
Stings at my heart
You shouldn't be aqui
In these butterfly sails
Causing mutiny upon me
My vessel battered
Wars have waged
Blood staining the bow
Cannons still smoking
Smell of gunpowder
From daybreak's call
Almost resting in the depths
Davy Jones locker
A too close encounter
I've sailed those waters
One too many past the 7
I know the fate
Dead men tell no tales
Where land stops
Nothing begins
You'll see what I mean
When your crew
Never reaches
The same port again
194 · Jul 2021
1 round in a 3 round clip
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
That first shot you heard
Wasn't to the brain
The second shot was
All intentions when loading
Closing each channel
To this reality
Heart, Mind, Soul
1 round each
3 round clip
I'm finishing this out
Homicide a suicidal thought
****** on my mind
Got a 138 personalities
Genocide I guess
I'll fill a mortuary
Create my own cemetery
Send flowers from hell
My heart hurts constant
My mind adhd on crack
My soul fatigued
1 round each
3 round clip
I'll put them out of misery
Call it selfish
Call it brave
You'll each have an opinion
So plant me
Like the **** I tried growing
Caring for you all
No thought of myself
Cashing in death
While I sell out life
I'd rather accept the truth
Then live a beautiful lie
194 · Jul 2021
Perpetually Lost
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
Scratch the first thought
You dared to have
Thinking I'm referring
To that vacant feeling
Crawling in between
Layers of flesh
Not anymore
I warned you
The great **** river
Has ran dry
Lapped up
By over indulgent tongues
With diluted principles
Overestimated my secret stash
I kept hidden
Jokes over
Fort Knox is empty
Every **** is gone
That roaches don't bother
Thinking crumbs of one
May still remain
Dust doesn't settle
Where nothing exist
I'm perpetually lost
In the sense that who I was
Won't come back
Emotionally unstable
Balancing life on fishing line
All the while dancing
To the sound of my own thoughts
As they stampeded
Across marble floors
With lead soles
Deal with it
This is the me you wanted
The one you knew
In your subconscious
Given the chance
Won't hesitate to say
******* in the neck
As I'm skull dragging
That pathetic version of me
You so inclined to abuse
Walls are up
No one's getting in
You bombarded Area 51
Forgetting the other 50
Stockpiled with an arsenal
You weren't prepared to fend off
So relish in the dismal
Bleak fantasies of me
You ******* with
That won't let you peak
I promise it'll be faster
Using a corpses dead ****
I'm perpetually lost
To the era of once was
Forged ever so harshly
In the dawning of the era
I'll **** into a lake
Of ***** and blood
Joy to the world
I feel alive
So strike a match
Watch me combust
As two massive feet
Collapse your ******
Blessed is the New Founding Father
A man reborn
Purged of emotional filth
Baptized in ******
Yeah...I'm angry, but dead *** serious. Same reasons I hated myself while everyone loved me will be the same reasons I love me while everyone hates me
194 · Mar 2019
Throw Me Sumthin Mista!!!
Robert Guerrero Mar 2019
A crowd slowly creeping in
Flocks of let loose nobody’s
Interested only in good times
Pretty woman
Sleek men
Beads cups potatoes and cabbage
Where every minute is a party
Thundering on every block
Horns of 18 wheelers
Floats lugged around
Marching bands of different calibers
Music weakening worries
Life couldn’t get better then that moment
For once a stranger is a neighbor
And what you don’t catch
Will surely be a laugh
As someone else gets pelted
Kisses from women having fun
Men try to loosen the ladies
Flowers for kisses
Dance moves from grandma
And without a doubt
The kiddos have more then enough to do
Throw me sumthin mista
Throw me sumthin sista
An echo of calls
Hungry for more fun
Might not be Mardi Gras but the Irish-Italian Parade was fun and close enough
194 · Jun 2021
Building The Fence
Robert Guerrero Jun 2021
Dig, level, set
Frame, stretch, nail
Processes repetitive
Outside looking in
Bird ******* eyes
Perched upon porches
Deemed easy enough a job
Physical demand obvious observation
Biased evaluation without involvement
You can read a book
Watch a video
Learn the process
Yet what's lacking
When yours doesn't look
Nearly as good
Or picture worthy of pastel colors
It's the intricateness of an artist
The detailed eye of experience
The mental strain of determining
Where exactly is sufficient for a days labor
Where we are
Isn't satisfactory so more motivation
Pumped into fuel lines
As augers break ground
Eagle eyes marking straight lines
As muscle puts in place
Never enough to be where you are
With the next 15 line posts
Dug, post in whole
Prepared to be conquered
Reach the end of a line
Thrill of the adventure
The end post is reached for
Still wanting the excitement
Add a corner post
Chase a new line
New obstacles unseen
Hidden adversities take form
Roots, nature's little ***** trap
Electric and gas lines
Humanities little twist
Comical to one
Aggravating to three
That's life is it not
Series of stages
Building and building
Fundamentally the same
Different with every line
Panels a little short
An inch or two longer
Maybe a jog adding a curve
Avoiding a hassle
Prepared for with careful planning
Executed by lessons previously learned
Going with the flow
But keeping an appearance
Making individuality transparent
To even the untrained
Without a perspective placed in sweaty boots
You shouldn't determine
Whether this job or the next
Easy or hard
Take into account
Clientele, human behavior
Outsourced obstacles manufactured
Seasons change
Constant reevaluating courses of action
Orchestrating others with mutual benefits
As wallets become less hungry
Piggy banks no longer butchered
Building the fence
May look easy to you
With knowledge learned
Instead of implemented
What's the point of having a car
If you still walk everywhere you go
Knowledge isn't experience
Experience is wisdom
Making metaphors out of labor
You probably won't participate in
Understanding is the ultimate power
Learning life lessons
Without having to wage wars
192 · Oct 2015
You're Right
Robert Guerrero Oct 2015
I can tell I'm not getting anywhere
I know I don't know how you feel
I just hope you remember that poem
That one that was only for your eyes
That only you and me ever knew about
I meant every word
Surely you forgot
I'm only ******* you off
Sometimes you have to know when to bail
I'm ejecting
Aborting this mission
But ill never stop feeling this way
I know how I feel is true
I wish I knew what to do
Knew where to go from here
Because its easy to see
You want nothing to do with me anymore
Maybe all the idea of an us was
Was a hallucination
Compiled by the frailty of my eager heart
To find someone that didn't fall for me
But simply just liked me for who and what
I was already
Nothing
192 · Feb 2019
Those Simple Moments
Robert Guerrero Feb 2019
A star struck gaze
Across endless isles
Stocked with our favorite snacks
A brush of your fingers
Before we depart
A whisper of her perfume
Finding your senses
A shotgun stare
When you make too much noise
While the baby sleeps
Those simple moments
Where we whisper
Careful not to destroy them
Because they don’t come around often
Even when I forget to say
I love you
You know my heart
And where it lays
Eternally residing
In the trunk
At the foot of our bed
Where scrape book memories
Remind me of those simple moments
Written while taking a ****...literally...a ****** poem *****!!!! Hallmark where you at?
188 · May 2019
What Makes A Man
Robert Guerrero May 2019
Is it his chiseled chest
Bulging biceps
His ability to run
His playful eyes
The way his chin grows hair
The way he laughs
His age perhaps
What makes a man
Is it his job
The way he makes money
His heart
The way he loves
Is it his inability to let you go
The way he makes you feel
What makes a man
When you learn his past
Maybe you’ll see the connection
That defining moment
That labeled him a man
I’ll await an answer
Because sometimes
I still feel like a scared little boy
187 · Jul 2021
Impossibility
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
Every love story
Has a beginning
A surreal middle
Either happy or sad end
Mine only saw sparks
An ignition
With no fuel added
You just got here
Red hair
Cute blouse
White pants
Sandle like flip-flops
A recluse
I had to know
Somehow my lips
Met yours
With fear in my soul
Divorced dad
No real reason
To be even considered
One date
Steakhouse and a walk
Little conversation
Yet your silence spoke volumes
I read and comprehended
Each aspect you hid
Thinking your diary
Was locked and unreadable
You asked me then
What my intentions were
I didn't want a relationship
I didn't want love
But given the chance
I would have chased it
Held dearly to it
You just didn't get that part
You just saw the start
No real intention
Of your very own
My love story
A hopeless impossibility
Staging scenarios
Playing out in dreams
I've grown to despise
Knowing all too well
There is no point
Keeping you in my mind
So I'll place the period
At the end of this page
Bring this failed romance
To a decent enough close
I'm still viable
For the casket I'll fill
At the end of my own story
Impossibility
That's what you became
It was beautiful
Loving you for this long
Doubt I'll truly ever stop
I just won't let another
Bear witness to it
So the ones that know
Will forget I ever did
You don't need to know me
Even if in your head
I was a possibility
What you have seen
Is all that you'll know
So don't forgive me
When I'm not there
Waiting for the owner
Of my impounded heart
186 · Mar 2019
Act I
Robert Guerrero Mar 2019
If you ever wondered
what happens in my mind
Where I drift
When my eyes glaze over
When I no longer reside
In this barren plain of existence
It’s a bit scary
Even for me
I strangle cats
Detach limbs from dogs
Mutilate humanity
Roast souls on open flames
Consume my own darkness
In the hope I’ll be able to brave it
The uncertainty of living
Finishing what I started
Giving up when it was necessary
Knowing when to stop lying to myself
I know I’m not happy
Yet I fake it till maybe it’ll go my way
I’m starting to resent it all
With myself at the top of that list
How can you love
When your entire existence
Was fueled by hate
How do you find happiness
When happiness is undefined
I know what happy moments are
But it’s only a temporary fix
With unpleasant side effects
Chasing and chasing
Playing cat and mouse
With silhouettes and laser pointers
There’s a target
But no chance in hell of obtaining
And even when I want to say it
I can’t
I’ll be interrogated
Asked what’s so unhappy about my life
Who do I hate
Why do I hate
It’s as simple as
My own emotional standing
Disregarded
Hate myself
For never measuring up
To invisible standards
Always being told No
Just accepting it
Because it’s all I’ve known
But what does one life mean
Even if my biggest accomplishment
Can’t even understand
Her father is dying before her
I hate myself mostly for that
Bringing her into a home
I don’t even consider a home
Nothing I built with my own hands
Slipping deeper into a depression
I don’t even want to admit to
I just play Happy
With a Resting ******* face
If my expression never changes
You can’t tell how I’m feeling
Even when I crack a smile
In the hopes you’ll keep walking
Stop talking to me
Sure your problems may be bigger
And this might sound
Like a useless person complaining
Pathetic in his own right
I wouldn’t even object
But what’s so wrong with wanting
Aiming to do something amazing
Even if you consider it stupid
Never given the opportunity
Just for once I’d love to hear
That sounds awesome so do it
It’s a small feat
For someone with smaller ambitions
As long as I can remember
I never wanted to live
But I’m not ready to die
I just accept that it’s coming
Ready for when it does
Won’t resist
Already wrote up a physical DNR
So here’s my emotional one
Call the time of death
Notify those that need organs
Leave the heart
It’s too broken to use
Donate what’s left
Maybe my final act
Will be what defines me
And bring happiness to someone else
Then I snap back to reality
Ask for you to repeat what you said
Because the amount of ******
In my head
Drowns out the sound of your voice
Late night poem thrown together
183 · Jun 2021
Helping Hand
Robert Guerrero Jun 2021
It's human right
Lending a hand
To someone who
May or may not bite
When it's outstretched
Guidelines and rules
To keep peace
But here it is more strikes
On tally boards
You caught feelings
Even why you tried not to
Over used
Under appreciated
Here I go
Giving up again
When life's hammering
I try to be the back bone
Of every situation
The level foundation
Yet I'm scheduled
For more demolition
Before blueprints are made
A helping hand
Grabbed and pulled
Never grabbed and held
This is isn't right
For me to do this
To be like this
Hating my existence
When everyone else
Finds something to love
I'm the water hole
In the desert
Alone
Drying up
I can only fill so many
Before I go away
It never rains
So value me now
As shade and food
Are bountiful
I'll have given it all
Just to see you grow
Yet you never considered
My affection and gave back
You used and polluted me
Making me what I am now
A burning hole
Filled with ash and bone
Waiting for it to rain
To drown you out
And carry you far enough away
You'll appreciate me
When I take form
In another place
183 · Oct 2015
Lost & Found
Robert Guerrero Oct 2015
Searched high and low
No footsteps or trace of her
She ventured of into the unknown
I lost her without realizing
She let go
My hand so far outstretched
I blindly grabbed into the crowds
Caught only dust
And the scent of her perfume
A lovely goodbye
I dreaded for so long
I held her from birth
In my very own infant hands
Watched her grow
Ran around the yard so many times
We left a pathway so pops didnt have to mow
Swimming together at Papa's
Too many memories
And I'll curse the heavens of every religion
For taking her away
For not letting me be strong enough for her
Why did she leave
Why did she let go
What purpose do I have without her
I should have been the one to go
I have nothing
I'll always be this broken man
Longing for another chance
To fight a war I'll never win
But if it means saving her this time
I'll wage war with titans and gods alike
I lost her
Never found myself
I know oneday I'll find her
In that old sandbox we played together in
Or swinging on that old swing set
We had our first kiss on
I know she's waiting
So maybe I should let go
Fall into her arms
Let her hold me like she lost me
While I love her
Till she finds me in the darkness
I created when she left
179 · Apr 2021
I Don't Expect You To Know
Robert Guerrero Apr 2021
That feeling of just existing
Floating through life
Without a purpose
Wake up to the alarm
Maybe a bite to eat
Coffee a nice idea
As your racing out the door
Mess up on the job
Tiny details were overlooked
Grow tired of the commute
Daily headaches
Coming home to nothing
Till you're allowed
Being denied the opportunity
To be a parent
I'll accept that the decisions
I poorly made in annoyance
Have consequences
Yet limiting my daughter
And the time I spend with her
Shouldn't have been a result
Let alone an idea to punish me
It's torture
Cruel and unusual
So I'll just smile
Work towards the dream I have
It's a reset and reboot
Deleting the unneeded
Watch close
You'll miss how I win this
179 · May 2021
Rejected
Robert Guerrero May 2021
More than expected
Love notes and serenades
Batted away
Transmuted into grenades
Left at the threshold of my heart
It'll always be like this
I'm not meant to be loved
Just a source of love
To those who need a daily dose
I'm that barrel of ale
Left on tap
Abused as I'm consumed
Go to meetings to avoid me
I'm the problem
Never a solution
So why am I still here
Hoping still trying
Outcomes the same
I'm ok with that
They don't see any value
I'll have in their lives
How can I blame them
When I myself can't find any
Bleak and bland
Possibly the worst excuse
A shell of a man
With goals and ambitions
He himself can't achieve
Life's not meant for me
Love is evading me
Only thing I have
Are voodoo doll personalities
I converse with
Just to make the day go by quicker
176 · Mar 2019
And the Director Yelled
Robert Guerrero Mar 2019
Me: I wonder if I should call
Voices: She won’t answer
Me: Should I text
Voices: She’ll never even open it
Me: Should I Snapchat
Voices: She’ll laugh at your desperation
Me: Did I lose her forever
Voices: As long as there is breath in her
Me: I’ve let her down too many times
Voices: The only reason she forgot you
Me: Still it’s her birthday
Voices: Give Up
Me: Why does it hurt even after so much time
Voices: Not enough time in this life or the next
Me: When does it end
Voices: when the director yells..


Pistol: CUT
Happy Birthday old friend may many more come your way... with love
176 · Jul 2021
No Matter What
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
I don't know
If it's my depression talking
Self esteem issues flaring
Delusional unjustified attacks
Self terrorism at it's finest
Yet no matter what
I won't measure up
Not even to the hunchback
I'm just an existence
Floating unnoticed
Unwanted undesirable
I'm subjected to loneliness
Best friend a shadow
Worst enemy a reflection
Only lover I'll have
Is the stars
They're already dead
Yet still trying to light
The path I'm on
176 · Mar 2021
I Do It To Myself
Robert Guerrero Mar 2021
Dive head first
Plummetting into the depths
Knowing jagged rocks
Await below my descent
Deserving of this crash course
Every time I open up
Secrets I keep to myself
Sometimes slip just for advice
Resulting in knowledge I already had
Knowing I'm the reason
My heart always gets blamed
When I feel the pull
That dreaded tug
Ripping my chest open
Just to hold onto her
Even when her hearts in another's hand
I don't need a her
I need the reason to come home
A responsibility to commit
To safety I disregard
As 90 becomes so easy to obtain
I chase my own form of happiness
In the thrill of knowing
Any second
I won't exist
I won't hurt
And the ones I wanted to love me
Will finally see
How without me
Smiles wouldn't have came so easily
I don't mind being that silent one
Taking the punches
Everyone throws wildly
Just to ease a moment of their pain
Subside a demon they ignore
Till it eats them alive
I do it to myself
I know that better than anyone
I just wish
I had someone to calm
The demon I'm becoming
All too friendly with
I need a reason to change
I don't see me achieving it
All by myself
I'm acknowledging
I need someone
When those lonely nights
Start to devour more
Of what I no longer cherish
So when I'm gone
In a fashion I carved my own
Miss me only in the moment
When you needed me the most
For then I'll wash over you
A calming hand
To hold you one more time
176 · Jun 2021
Dear Self
Robert Guerrero Jun 2021
I'm tired of this
Every open window
You peer through
Becomes doors swung open
Just to slam in your face
When you get to the threshold
No singular heart
Can possibly sustain
This much agony at once
Why is it trial and error
With every passing face
Heart too big
If you tried to ****
Somehow it would manage
Locating a rhythm
Deeper than any machine
Could hope to detect
It's always move on
She's around the corner
Be a gentleman
Do what they never had done
Managing never to be
More worthy than anyone
You stand beside me
I can't compare
To what she wants
Or what she desires
I'm not the happy middle
I'm the lost cause
Still trying to find
That one heart
That will cradle mine
Long into the silent hours
That taunt me with exhaustion
Plague me with insomnia
If this doesn't end
I might have to
Ceasing a human existence
Just to see how hard I'll be then
To either love or be loved
Admired for positivity
When I'll simply
Focus on only doing
No doing
Void of desire and need
I'll drop dead
From malnutrition in heart mind and body
But they won't care
They got what they chased
I got used without realizing
My dysfunction is a disorder
They'll never cure
It's fool
Hopeless dreamer in the art
Of giving thought a second chance
That for once
I'll be adequate finally
Dear Self
I hope you found her
The messiah to your idiocy
The blessing behind your faith
Maybe you didn't give up
Perhaps you did
Either outcome
Your bound to catch hell
I'm not the type to please
I'm the pleasing type
175 · Mar 2018
Lost
Robert Guerrero Mar 2018
We lost ourselves
Somewhere in the sands of time
We lost sight
Forgot where we were
Who was there and why
I waited on every reply
Every word you wrote
Crack addict wishing for another dose
Withdrawals 10 times over
You were my best friend
All I wanted
All I could need
Therapist to self inflicted scars
Motivator of my soul
Yet you stripped it from me
When you said goodbye
We lost each other
And neither one bled more
Then the emotions that blossomed
Still in bloom
On sunny days
When I read your words again
175 · Jul 2021
Hail To The King
Robert Guerrero Jul 2021
Hear ye
Hear ye
Hail to his Majesty
The king has arisen
****** he plots
Be weary of his call
For the Red King
Hates you all
Out with his heart
Out with his heart
Watch as it beats
Till all existence cease
Ideas of love are sweet
Ye might relish in now
Reality whispers in his ear
No place for ye to be held
Ever so dear
In a heart ran red
As he ripped it out
So no queen could ever
Take his head
Hail to the king
His royal Majesty
Hail the Red King
Out with his heart
Out with his heart
The king awakens
Intent on ******
His only victim to be
Shall forever be solely me
173 · May 2021
Again
Robert Guerrero May 2021
Seems like it's inevitable
Somehow this folly of depression
Sickening as it may be
Is my only saving grace
My super power
To harness words
Delicately placing them
In ballet slippers
Watching them elegantly
Summarize emotions I'm plagued with
Constant fears and thoughts
Screenplays Broadway ready
Tragedy to fantasy
Rarely comical
Yet a jokers laugh is heard
Deep in the cellars of my heart
Knowing all too well
I am what my opinion of me is
No religious text
Deranged teachings of dark minds
Or philosophical psychology
Can eradicate it
I'm lost beyond hope
Trying to make a dream
A not so far off reality
Hindered quickly before
I even take my next breath
What will it take
How does it happen to me
When will it end
Where will I be
Who cares anymore
I'm surrounded by myself
Engulfed in my delusions
Try to become my own martyr
Why can't I be my own god
Carve the destiny I desire
With only a snap of fingers
Or the wiggle of my nose
I know I'm not hopeless
Yet mind and body
Reject truces or seek compromise
Again
I'm lost in these senses
Hating myself
For feelings I can't control
Loving myself
With little avail
I'm detestable
Deplorable
Defeated
Yet waving white flags
Seem only to incur wrath
From whoever raises it first
Again
Another war
Futile in all aspects
The answers the same
Outcome forseen
Again
And again
And...

              ...again

It's only one purpose
So tell me already
Show me what I'm meant to do
Who I'm to become
I'll strive to make it true
If only there's a sanctuary
From the me I am again
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