i knew i loved you
when you would be my protecting ***** guard
when your face lit up over a dinosaur book
when we took ugly photos in our blues
when we slapped each other across the face
when you weren't intimidated by my height
when we were poooooosers
when you made me laugh
when i played with your hair
when you looked at me
when we hugged minutes before i left for home

i knew i loved you
when we saw each other after a year
when we would starfish under the sheets
when you whispered along my neck
when you took care of me on drunken nights
when i nestled under your arm
when you spent christmas with me
when you wanted me for new years
when you brought me food
when i put that eye mask on your face
when you left those toothpicks on my nightstand
when you were there for me when nobody else was

i knew i couldn't love you
when you told me you could never date me
when i took you to the wedding
when you never chose me

i knew i couldn't love you
even when i always did

My eyes are watery
My vision is blurred
But I see you clearly
In the fire you burn.

I can’t breath right now
And my legs cannot walk
My mind is broken
I can’t seem to talk.

The snow falls slowly
Onto my warmed up face
And I taste the sweet, sweet victory
I thought I’d never taste.

But the snow melts too quickly
Into blood it turns
My heart begins to race
In the fire I burn.

When did I become a joke to you?
When did I become the person you build up and up,
Only to tear down piece by piece by piece?

When did you start thinking it was okay to mess with my mind?
When did you start thinking that I was the perfect person
To break down and humiliate?

First I became your diary,
Then I became your therapist,
Next it was the advice giver
(Even though you never listened),
And now I’ve become the one you pretend to make plans with
Only to cancel at the moment you're supposed to arrive.

What gave you the idea that any of this was okay?
I’m so tired of the drama you bring.
I’m so tired of trying to help when you won’t listen.

I don’t think I can do this anymore
I don’t think I can be your friend;
Not if this is where it leads.

We planned an entire day,
And yet, here I am,
Writing this poem while watching TV
As I sit at home alone.

If you were looking for my breaking point
Then I can congratulate you on finding it,
You’ve finally hit the last straw.
No more!
I’m done!
This isn’t what friends do.

See morning rolls around,
and brings another April snow day

This sleepy town stirs
on white streets under a white sky
And the only lights that shine
are the ones in traffic--
red and yellow watercolor
on the windshield.
We get home, the lights are down.
We lie in bed under the blankets
and dream of spring...
In barrooms across town
others gather ballads and sing.

Drive these roads
See for yourself the sky
flat, where meets it the earth
and the stars glimmering cold
And Polaris promises to bring you home
Even if they let you down,
you'll rise up off the ground
when you hear morning sound,
maybe it’ll bring one more day of sun.

Everyone's perfect, that I can see.
Everyone's perfect, why can't I be.

Well I'm beaten and broken on the inside
Well I'm looking for a someone to confide

Everyone's perfect everyone's bright
Everyone's perfect look at my plight

Well I'm hoping I'm looking for a good friend
Well I'm hoping I'm trying to stave off the end

Everyone's perfect don't you dare tell me that
Everyone's perfect don't you dare tell me that
Everyone's perfect don't you dare tell me that
Everyone's perfect what do I lack.

I was broke as usual it's okay I understood that far easier than I ever did being well off.

Long as there was a bottle and a room I could crash in I was good.
I never cared to gamble.
I lived my life that was a gamble enough

My money i preferred to be wasted upon myself not given to a fixed game played by overpaid children.

The only sport I ever loved was fighting.
I understood you against another.
In life its always you against the world.

I loved to fight even when you lose you know you've lived
I had stepped between those ropes often.

Paid the the price for a simple mistake and been knocked flat on my *** for it.
Boxing is a human chess match very few men have what it takes to go toe to toe with another.

Anyone can fall down it takes a man or mental patient to keep getting back up.
I had paid my dues broken bones multiple concussions between that and all the ***** poured into my skull you think I would be braindead by now.

Some would tell you I already was.
And those people would be like most full of **** speaking on things they know nothing about.

Critics come in all forms.
Don't worry over there opinions nobody ever worth a **** sat on the sidelines.

I had nothing to show for my years.
I could barely get moving some days.
But when the drinks hit me right and some young **** called me out i still had that spark that fueled the fire.

Never take **** from.anyone no matter how tuff they seem.
Anyone can get caught anyone can bleed.

Remember kids its not what you can dish out.
Its how much you can take and keep going that makes you tuff.

I wore my scars like tattoo's.
Everyone of them had a story.
I never believed in luck.

I just kept going no matter what stood before me.

If I depended on luck in my life.
I would be up **** creek for the rest of my existence.

Never stay down no matter how easy it seems.

Silence follows
Her entry to the room
The flowers flay
When once they did bloom
And as the warm light fades
To a frozen stream
So my love does disappear
On our broken dream

No sorrow
No guilt
Just like the flowers
Our love does wilt
No more does it lead
A star to guide
With strangers I am drunk
My secrets I confide

We will never speak
Of how we have become,
So weak
So fragile yet hardened ,as steel
No respect for the other
And how they may feel

Three decades dissipate
Into the ether they levitate
My heart, it is not broken
My love for you??
Perhaps, just a token,
We part, we walk, we don't look back
The distance grows greater
Never again , to see you later ,