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So reach out to me before
I cut myself off of this world
I be-gone
I cut myself off of words
bring me out of the blue
It's all dark ahead now
and waves will guide me through
I sway I swing I will stay
I will lose myself away
And soon enough
I will eat myself whole
I will consume me flesh
And will feel anew
I don't know where I was going with this

pt 2
Why am I never good enough for people to stick around?

They say I'm a "great person" or a "very good girl" but they never decided to stay

Why is that?

Is it something I did?

Is it something I said?

I want to know why people say I'm this great person but never want to stick around long enough for me to believe their words

What's wrong with me?

Why is everything always my fault?

Why. Am. I. Not. Worth. Staying. For?

I should just leave because people would be better off without me.


– Not Worth Staying For // F.C.
Do it for me, or else, he said.
Who would you call for help? Who would care?
Guilty as sin to whoever's looking in, better do it now.

Do it for me, or else, he said.
Go ahead try to hide, try to lie if they pry.
Guilty as sin. Better do it now before someone looks in.
It's as much your fault as it was his.

Go ahead, try to lie. Try to hide if they pry.
You should know better, better than him.
It's as much your fault as it was his.
You're naive as a dog, begging for meat.

He should know better, better than you.
One night gone awry turned a girl into two.
Begging for meat, naive as a dog.
He was the father of a daughter born from violence.

One night gone awry turned a girl into two.
Who would care? Who would you call for help?
The father of your daughter born from violence.
It was painful.
this is an old one i recently found
The other day
my dad asked if
I am happy
and I didn't know
how I could answer
and I couldn't lie
but I couldn't worry him
there was a long silence
I took a deep breath
and said
I'm doing my best
She's grown tired of only experiencing weekend love-

The kind of love that doesn't make it past Sunday afternoon,
the kind of love that stays within the four walls of her bedroom.

A bourbon-infused romance,
an ill-intentioned ******.
It is a four way intersection
With no street lights.

An unlit cigarette

It is a car
with no headlights
No taillights
No signals at all

It is a hearth
with no fire.
It is no television

It is a chruch
with no windows.
An unlit candle

It is a stage
with no spotlight
It is a rave
with no lazers

It is an uncharged cell phone
It is never having a cell phone

It is crowding to watch an aura boreailois
With nothing in the sky
It is starless nights

It is a storm
With no lightning
It is a ship sailing to land in a storm
With no light house to guide them.

It is naked and safe
It is surrounded by dark
Surrounded by snow
Surrounded by spirits

It is grey eyes
that don't look back
they look through you
Into the light.
My grandfather is a poet
He writes of a man’s purpose, his ergon
And of the group home he once ran, for parents who didn’t understand the curse, or possible gift of their child’s disability
He said there was a boy who floated, despite being palsied
And who yearned for a man with a beard like snow
Sometimes when I dream of things that I’ve never seen, his poems come alive,
Full of demented calliopes and pills that are every color of the rainbow
And someone’s hands interlocked with another’s

My other grandfather, the father of my mother, is an artist
He paints crisp lines, diamonds like the eyes of a cat in the night
And sketches with an open palm, shows stories of long ago
When my mother was nothing more than a child, unaware of how her father drank himself to sleep
Every single night
He couldn’t afford champagne or cognac, so most nights it was cheap beer that tasted like sawdust
And soon he’d become sawdust, floating on the wind, if not for that tiny voice inside
That said
Stop

My grandmother is a healer
A woman understood by few, the type to stay up late worrying
Over pain and personality, over dreams and nightmares
She can heal with a touch of the hand and a handful of pills and
Once worked hard to create a world free of the three letter disease no one wants to talk about
She’s always been there
Yet she still doesn’t know how important she is to me

My father is a lawyer
He advocates for the voiceless, raises himself up when there’s no one there to speak out
Loves no matter what, jokes like the father he is until the break of dawn
He raises me up with heavy hands and a heavier heart
Because we have our share of fights, our screaming and kicking, our pinning and pushing
But never has my love for him wavered

My mother is my world
She’s held many jobs, from unofficial pet store employee at eleven to director of a nonprofit for children in foster care at forty-five
Nowadays she works hard, keeps her eyelids from sagging through long days and longer nights
Raising her voice for children with no one to call mother
And I call her that with pride, because at the end of the day,
We would be nothing but stardust
Without our mothers

My grandfather is a poet, and I’m one, too
Bridging the gap of generations with words
He taught me how to write through a book sent in the mail
And I’m still grateful, looking over the tattered pages of his poetry until the sun catches up to the moon
He taught me how to live, how to write
My grandmother taught me how to heal
My father taught me how to speak out
And my mother taught me
To be myself.
Via Teen Ink.
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