Am I dreaming things that no one ever thinks?
Am I being illogical or has the world gone irrational?
Am I seeking for answers for which the question is uncertain?
Am I writing in midair or is the world listening?
Am I wasting my time waiting for the right time?

when you are sad; think not of yourself, but of other people halfway across this blue marble, and what they are doing at this very moment. people who are falling asleep, making a sandwich, choosing which necklace to buy. think of the infinite possible outcomes for these situations and which ones fate will choose. 2 hours of sleep or 12? to wake up or remain in eternal slumber? local cheese or blackberry jam? brown bread or white? the delicate sliver chain or the brash, striking gold one? the passionate green gem like your eyes, or the pale, ethereal blue one like your mood?
then you must realise that from all the possible outcomes for your currently miserable situation, fate will choose the one that works out right in the end because although life can be cruel at times, it cares for individual beings, but can not tend to all at once and your chance at upbeat times will come (soon, i promise)

Oh God...
Ya Allah...
Hay Bhagwan...
So many more names to reckon the great soul.
.
.
.
And amidst all these names,
Why is it always, that we keep forgetting whom we call?

what happened
or what's going on
or why he did what he did.

the way she's feeling
the way they're all feeling,
what I'm feeling.
So complicated.

when I cried
and you didn't.
while I slept,
and you couldn't.

why it happened there
and happened then.
What I can't do
and what I can.

why the world is this way now.
why my thoughts have shifted.
why it couldn't be different.


Why?

I don't know.

I scribble the pen in my hand,
my hand seizing
as it drags the tip across the whiteboard,
forming my name
in perfectly rounded cursive.

Scratching through it,
until I leave it blank
like it never happened.

There sat the pink vitamin water.
It stared right into my anxious mind.
Or rather I stared at it through my anxious mind.
If I drifted my gaze I saw
long blue coats, dreds, hippie outfits, beards galore and three garbage ladies wearing uggs.
Surrounded by strangers.
New faces, yet it doesn't seem shocking.
It was okay after a quick smile from a guy wearing sunglasses
And melting my worries away in the sauna.

A single step
can be safer than the next
or the last.

The snow covers
a delicate layer of ice.
From a far,
no one would know
what lies beneath.
Just a quiet, white field,
of freshly fallen snow.

I like the way
the ice crackles
right under my boots
just before it breaks.

At that time,
the thrill is harmless.
Merely those small,
spider web cracks.
Intruding in it's
perfect crystal floor.

But as soon as that ice
folds from under me,
I am surrounded by
a world of water
and its heavy.
Dragging me down,
to cold to handle.

Why do I chose
to walk on the ice?

I looked like I would pounce
Over the sidewalks I bounce

Making sure to avoid the cracks
Like they were sticky, hot wax

Or a never ending gaping hole
that would eat my soul

Or, like the rhyme says,
Break my mother's back in a ways

I would come so close
but I froze

I kept jumping
and never touching

Why did I never hit the crack
if I knew it would never attack

Why do I still never touch the crack
Why do I always keep myself back

From just walking without fear
When I can just be clear?

I am dead weight
to everyone around me.

Like coal,
I was a sizzling and crackling inferno,
until the only thing left
was a clump of
Burnt.
Used.
Lifeless.
Coal.

I burden other people
leaving marks
on those
I've barely touched.

I am everyone's coal.
The baggage everyone carries.
The trash thrown away.
The item disregarded, not worthy of living.
Not even given a chance to make a name of itself.
Burnt.
Used.
Lifeless.
Coal.