Crazy
You made me crazy
I never loved someone so much
I would travel over mountains over seas
Crazy
You made me crazy
I left everyone who loved me
Until they no longer knew me
That's crazy
I see my crazy
My children have no strong bonds
Their love is unattached
Crazy
Yeah that's crazy
After all I gave myself up for you
And you trashed me
Such a tragedy
We were meant to be
Instead
My love went
Crazy

All roads seem blocked
All exits taped off!
This and that
always get in the way
I ask and wonder and
I don't feel okay

Am I worthy??
As though
you should answer...
Are you?
Who am I to choose

There are hidden things
I cannot see
Your heart, your soul,
your memories
Your trauma, your fears,
Your meant to be's

That crashed and burned
broke your heart...

Who am I to think
you're too broken to restart?

Can I assume you
have no right to life?
That you're cursed
unloved & shouldn't
been born... right...

When I look in a mirror
I only see me
So I ask myself,
Am I worthy?
And then I answer,
most certainly.

A husband should love one wife
Like Adam loved Eve
Only never listen to her over God
of course
A husband should love his wife
As he does his own body
He should cherish and feed her
Keep her healthy
healthy... like he would himself
For no man ever hated his own flesh


Healthy.........
Mental health
Physical health
Spiritual health...

A husband would want a happy wife
He would give lots of attention, lots of affection, communication of course,
A good husband would care for her
He would care about her wants as well
A good husband would listen
dry her tears

A good wife would be so happy to have a good husband she would cherish and respect him in return

With trembling fingers she decides to leave. It's been fun and all but this I don't need. judging eyes, shaking heads, stating with confidence *she's better off dead, the past doesn't count, we don't care what she's been through, you don't deserve a chance, there's no room for you.

If I were
a perfect hourglass
your prized and polished trophy
then would you hold me
high up for all to see?
Probably you would
I would be shiny and beautiful
sitting alone on your shelf
collecting dust
until it was time
to show me off again

Be my mind today
Protect me from myself
The threats that atempt
to take away
My sanity
Be my heart
Help me not to sway
This way and that
Protect me from heartbreak
Be my helmet
Let me only look to you
Feed my mind courage
Let my strength renew
Be my shield
Let your word be my guide
Let me listen to songs
Your people sing
Bring out the best inside
Be my sword
The only one I yield
Make me remember
Scripture
Don't  let me listen to how I feel
I know my heart
Treaturous thing
So I know I need your help
In everything
I will ignore this heart
I don't want to assume anything
But you will help me through
Because you are my refuge
No matter what life brings

That glimmer in his eye
The charm in his walk, his talk
It was a curse
Didn't you notice his broken finger?
3rd one on the left
That was a present from his mother
No Doctor called at 6 years old
When the trunk slammed down
The remedy was olive oil
No CPS was called back then
They called him tough, brave and strong
But really it was a curse

There's a pill for almost everything these days.
For instance there are many pills designed to off the waterworks long enough to please those thinking types.  Need energy? There's a pill for that, now you need to sleep so there's a pill for that. There's even a pill to keep you from thinking too much! There's pills for your skin and pills for your teeth. Pills for your ills.
The irony is, in the end, cancer is the reward.

Have you ever felt like
Some hearts believe they can see
Right through you
To your core and reasons
They think they know you
though they have no idea
They can't fit the shoes
You've been wearing
If only a glimpse were caught
Available; though it's not
What remains
Is hearsay and guessing



And this is the story
That's believed of me
How they think
I know what happened
Or what's happening
If I did anything
of my own initiative
Why did I too
Feel like a lunatic?
They say I chose my outcome
To fall apart
I am cold as ice
That I don't have a heart

So I freeze
in solitary confinement
I pray for my enemies
Crying tears of silence
Wishing death would come to me
Though it doesn't
I love and move along
Only enduring
That's my story
Don't get it twisted
Now don't you worry
It won't make a difference
I believe in the one
Who's never giving in
He fulfills his promises
& when I pray
He listens

Throughout our lives
We live many stories
Some we're amazing
In all of their glory
Sometimes in despair
We trip and fall
But we get back up
And the story goes on

Head above water
                     just enough
.                            to keep from drowning completely

You wish
Yeah you wish you could
I know better and I'm fine.
Never again so don't even try
To come around here acting like
I'll melt like ice
I laugh, I am past  the giddy feeling
It's been years since I fell for your deception
I know more than you wanted
I opened my eyes
Too late? Well isn't that what you wish
Still I ache for yesterday but the future
Is before me.
I am not the fool you wanted
like you wish
In your dreams you fooled me
Completely
Was I smarter than you wished I would be?
I was distant on purpose

"It is unthinkable for the true God to act wickedly, for the Almighty to do wrong!" Job. 34:10
"When under trial, let no one say: 'I am being tried by God.' For with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone." James 1:13
"Throw all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
"Jehovah is not slow concerning his promise, as some people consider slowness, but he is patient with you because he does not desire anyone to be destroyed but desires all to attain to repentence." 2 Peter 3:9

Lift up the earth's crust
Open up the sea
It's easy to overlook the obvious
happening to you and me
Honestly could you say it will never end?
Honestly stop and think
There's too many wrongs to make this right
We're tipping on the brink
You may say it's always the way it's been
Curious as that may seem
I know it's just a matter of when
In all honesty

I need to tell the truth
Let me be candid
I'm in a world
full of bandits
Diluted infractions
I need action
Drowning in
"look at me pollution"
love's an illusion
on a lonely screen
I find
unsolicited advice
How nice
Is this my new therapy?
I've lost my mind
Without meaning
how can I believe it?

Where's the truth
What's the truth
Where's the love
What's the proof?
You said I matter
That's a lie
Watch me shatter inside
Over and over I die
as life goes by
like a racecar
I'm tired, scarred,
never understanding why
What'd you say?
Say what you mean
Do what you say
There's no in-between
If all I have is you
How the hell am I
Supposed to make it through
I don't have it in me to
keep on giving

Make it worth living

The **** is so thick
It is impossible to clean now
It has caked onto the walls
Sickening as it is
When you see it you close your eyes
Still it is there and you now know
You know as soon as you follow
Unfollow
It's now in your brain
Because without taste
It was in your face

Good is bad
So bad is good
That's what they say
You can do what you want
Don't matter the cost
Live for today
You'll be forgiven
Don't walk away
It's only temporary
YOLO anyway
That's what *they say

Stay straight while you keep your head up
This too shall pass
Stumbling blocks on the road try to trip you up
Just try to remember where your at
What's important? Where are you going?
In this life nothing lasts
So stay straight while you keep your head up
This too shall pass

Light soft,
ever so subtle
teasing strokes
lying hiss
coiled
whispering
meaningless messages
full of pleasure
nothing more
nothing less

Pretty
Such a shallow existence
Unfortunately it's the way
To capture your attention
Pretty shallow
Is what I see
Pretty empty
Pretty upset
Well now that's me
Pretty much useless
I see pretty in many things
But pretty isn't much
Of anything

I feel like writing
I don't really know what will spill out
Bleeding through my fingers onto this
blank canvas
Not always with an effortless flow
I want to open myself up
To let my honesty out with intelligent wit
With confident tones of inspiration
I feel like exploring myself
Like finding a burried treasure, long lost
Inside memories, imagination,
I get lost reading about other intriguing
made up scenarios and personalities
I swim in an endless sea of emotion
Drowning in dreams untold
Fighting to find the right portrayal
I wonder if I will achieve my goals
But for now,...
I just feel like writing

Able to see everything
To act anywhere
(Proverbs 15:3; Hebrews 4:13)
A spirit person.
(John 4:24)
Invisible to you and me.
(John 1:18)
Visions recorded consistently
(Isaiah 6:1, 2; Revelation 4:2, 3, 8)

The spirit realm,
distinct from physical creation
A “dwelling place in the heavens.”
(1 Kings 8:30)
The Bible mentions an occasion
when spirit creatures
“entered to take their station”
God resides at a specific location.
—Job 1:6.

If God is not omnipresent, can he really care for me?

Yes. God cares deeply
—Psalm 34:18.
—Psalm 32:8.

Stars and other creative works
“declare the glory of God.”
(Psalm 19:1)
Telling us of
his power, wisdom, and love

For the life of me
I cannot understand the monotony
Chasing tails up and down stairwells
Ludicrous!
How can you call this excitement?
I cannot remember the last 5 minutes!
This dreadful spinning
Responsibility is heavy
Calling all my friends and family
Government mandatory
Legalized this circus
There is no way around it
you must have insurance!!!
Now they will label me
Certainly the wolf at the door
Stacking up bills
You can't afford to ignore
So maybe one day
IF you qualify
You can give someone money
When you die

Dull meaningless verbal abuse tries to strike me down, to put me in a box where the the other lifeless followers go blind

Like breath will leave my lungs
As if life support would fail me but
This one rooted truth is all that remains
desolate beside the scatter of debris
After the wake of a wicked storm