R: Poems

261 · Apr 2014

Untitled

R Apr 2014

Untitled

Brotherly hands touched
me last April and
now with this year
my beautiful other
takes his place---
except the difference is that
*I want her to.

on April 6th of last year I had the courage to finally say no... and now I hold a beautiful future, one with an amazing girlfriend and California ahead of me :)

261 · Apr 2013

You control me

R Apr 2013

You control me

When I lie close to you
I can feel your breaths.
Your hot, wet,
Air
Exhaling into me.
I accept it
Inside of me
And I
Let it control me.

261 · Sep 2015

hurrIcane

R Sep 2015

hurrIcane

you think of me as an oncoming storm who only wishes to bring destruction. am I not more than death and ruins?

"yes, yes you are"

260 · Jun 2015

d

R Jun 2015

d

"are you okay? is everything alright, luv? you look so sad, what happened?"
i told you everything as i cried and you sat and let me sob my way through the story. you listened intently and did not interrupt as i poured my shattered heart onto the table once again. once i finally took a break to let myself breathe, i looked up at you and realized you were smiling.
"what?" i said, completely baffled at how you could smile while I'm a completely wreck.
"you're just so strong, can't you realize that? i know you're hurting right now and you probably do not feel strong whatsoever, but darling, you are one of the strongest people i know."*
you gave me some tips on how to feel better (and thank GOD you didn't tell me you were right about this boy, because as per usual, you were) and you sent me links to simulation games online so we could talk and calm me down.

I'm just so grateful for him, i really truly am.

you've helped me through so much
you may be a boy who is stereotyped to not be full of emotion, but you are one who shows and feels more than any guy I've ever known

also a big thank you to all of my friends (here and not on here)that helped me during this, i really appreciate all of you so much.

260 · Aug 2013

10wordwonder

R Aug 2013

10wordwonder

The world always
Spins and
Makes me terrified
Of you.

259 · Apr 2013

Back (5w)

R Apr 2013

Back (5w)

I'm glad that
you're back.

259 · Apr 2015

Untitled

R Apr 2015

Untitled

and you're absolutely beautiful, but you already knew that.

la la la la

259 · Sep 2015

B

R Sep 2015

B

And if I could find a new place inside my ribs;
anymore space for you to carve your way into,
so you could have your own spot inside my heart,
I would.
Luckily, you are carving out all of the pain that has been
left behind for me to endure and suffer through because
all you want to do is to make sure I am happy.
How did I ever come to deserve such joy?

I don't, but you make me feel like I do

258 · Mar 2015

3w

R Mar 2015

3w

I'm already there

home is in my own arms now

258 · Nov 2015

back & forth girl

R Nov 2015

back & forth girl

And you're just going back and forth, back and forth;
nothing more than a girl looking for that star in the north.
And you're not really sure where your loyalty lies anymore;
nothing more than a girl who goes where she thinks that she won't be poor.

girl=gender neutral here. I just like the sound better than "boy" here.

258 · Oct 2014

Water

R Oct 2014

Water

It drips like water, sometimes gushes like a spring
It rolls down faster, hits it with a ding!
You know what this is, I know you that you know it
Because if you did not then what where would it fit?
It dribbles and drops and falls and goes down faster
Wouldn't this be sexier if read by my pastor?
And oh how you know what I'm talking about
But sadly there is no water where there is a drought.

Prompt

258 · May 2015

1

R May 2015

1

"He gives me the shakes, you know, and I want to see the world with him... I've never wanted that before."*
Oh boy, do I understand.
He makes me quiver with just his smile, and I've only just started becoming hopeful for my future again. No, not because of him. But, maybe the thought of him in my future makes things just slightly bearable. I have such a bright one, after all. Why shouldn't I be hopefully for the road ahead of me?

i want to know him and the way the summer sun shines on his skin
I'm just rambling and I'm absolutely exhausted, but insomnia calls and i answer, sadly.

257 · May 2015

Untitled

R May 2015

Untitled

you tried to understand me on your couch that night, but the parts of me worth understanding were already too far gone, and because i wasn't interesting enough to you anymore, you left. that's what everyone does, after all. they just leave because i'm not who they thought i was, and I'm sorry for that, i'm just trying to be who i need to be for myself right now. i'm sorry i'm not enough for everyone else anymore.

should i even be sorry?

257 · Mar 2015

Untitled

R Mar 2015

Untitled

No**, *you can't pin me down.

Can't Pin Me Down// MATD
Good news: I've been invited to be in the National Honors Society. Woo.

257 · Jan 2016

Untitled

R Jan 2016

Untitled

every part of my body begs me not to care,
but my head just can't stop spinning and spinning and spinning and--

all of my poems will probably just be me and my incoherent and incomplete thoughts because that's all I can seem to muster up as of late

257 · May 2015

12:11am

R May 2015

12:11am

I want to cut open my skin with all of the "I love you's" left unsaid, because they're sharper than any blade could ever be.

Not yours, but my own

257 · May 2015

Why I did what I did

R May 2015

Why I did what I did

I did it so I wouldn't have to feel your fingers playing with it anymore
even though you're not here
and I did it because I knew you loved it and I was ready for a change and I thought you didn't love me, so I thought keeping it was useless
I needed it all to be gone, really. I figured if my skin cells won't know you one day, neither should my hair have to endure the pain anymore.
But then I remembered that no matter what I change, my heart and mind will always remember you.
I will always be reminded of the way you smell, of the way your eyes crinkle up when you laugh or smile, or the way your voice sounds on the phone at 3am.
So, I guess being reminded isn't such a bad thing.
But I can't allow myself to rely on you anymore, I need to remember who I was before you and to bring that into the person I am today.
Why did I do what I did?
Because I needed to learn how to do something for myself again,
because I forgot what it was like to do something that wasn't because I loved you or because I wanted to put you before anything and everything.
I just need to love myself again, purely because I am beautiful and I am worthy, without or without another person to tell me so.

I've forgotten how to love myself. May the next month away be a month of magnificent transformation for me and for all.

257 · Apr 2015

6w

R Apr 2015

6w

It'll be okay, *I'll be okay.

Didn't mean to cause a scare last night, I'm sorry. I'm okay.

256 · Jun 2015

x

R Jun 2015

x

i shouldn't be alive to taste such sweetness
but there i was with you on my bed
finally feeling at home
again.

one part of me screams that i should die but
another part of me wants to stay for
so many reasons.

256 · May 2015

14w

R May 2015

14w

I want you to see my darkness and vulnerability, just please don't hurt me.

255 · Nov 2015

§

R Nov 2015

§

And somehow through all of this chaos, I still think you're worth it.
Every single **** second of it.

255 · May 2015

Lo siento,

R May 2015

Lo siento,

I can't risk losing in love again.

254 · Apr 2015

Jesus

R Apr 2015

Jesus

Wash me with your blood,
Cleanse me of my sins,
And remind me of all I have to live for.

Amen
Happy Easter everyone (:
I love you

254 · Mar 2015

Untitled

R Mar 2015

Untitled

There are so many adventures to go on, I hope I'll be ready soon.

I'll be ready to explore soon enough. Time heals all.

253 · Jun 2015

rules:

R Jun 2015

rules:

you say you know love, but you are just reflecting words you hear.

rules//jayme dee
sleepy time mixtape

253 · Oct 2015

,

R Oct 2015

,

you acknowledged me again today,
but only momentarily.
and as I took out my math work I could
see you looking at me in the
corner of my eye.

as quick as you look at me,
you look away just as fast.

what are you thinking?
please just say something.

253 · Apr 2015

Beauty

R Apr 2015

Beauty

and I said, "let me explore all of you. I want my hands to caress your mountains and I wish to dive deep down into your oceans below. I know this time I will not make the mistake of drowning. I will swim throughout your whole body, and I will dance along your spine. I will catch a ride on your blood pallets and I will learn each crevice that makes up the pattern of your fingertips. I will know what makes your soul so light, and I will kiss your mind with my lips. You will no longer fear something so beautiful and pure, and you will inhale something far more enticing than the scent of my skin. You will exhale your deepest desires, and you will breathe me in and ******* caramel skin. You will know ecstasy from the way your mind shines when you are around me, as mine does around you. When did beauty become something far more than a physical feature? When did it become something you could live? You live beautifully, and I am ever so grateful for you heart."

d

253 · Mar 2015

Lie:

R Mar 2015

Lie:

I wasn't in love with you,

252 · Jul 2013

Sometimes (15w)

R Jul 2013

Sometimes (15w)

I want to say what
I've been through but
I'll just end up
In tears.

252 · Oct 2014

10 word story

R Oct 2014

10 word story

If you were to leave me
Who would I be?

You're already so far away.
Happy birthday my love. Xoxo

#love

252 · Mar 2015

Untitled

R Mar 2015

Untitled

Loneliness is starting to become
Synonymous with my name again.

252 · May 2015

sheild

R May 2015

sheild

and he says he wants to touch my heart,
but I have built a shield that is impenetrable
because of her.

don't let them in, don't them see

251 · Apr 2014

4/11/14

R Apr 2014

4/11/14

I let myself eat today
because she watched
my careful bites.
If she wouldn't have been
I probably would've just
stared down at my plate
feeling the twists and
twinges of pain inside
of my body as I
lick my lips.

I like this feeling because
I can control it
and nobody can shove food
down my mouth because
you wouldn't be able to tell
if I've eaten or not
and until I get to that point again
*I don't think I'll ever stop.

251 · Nov 2015

Agape

R Nov 2015

Agape

And that's what I believe that you always deserved--someone who would love you regardless of your scars. It's what we all deserve. It's a lot like the love that God shows us. That's what you deserve. And now? Oh darling, it's what you have. Please, just cherish it. Love with everything you have. Let this Love become a part of you, because it's pure and beautiful and you deserve to be happy. Just Love with every fiber of your being. Love is the only hope we have left anymore.

251 · Sep 2015

B

R Sep 2015

B

you touched me and I felt a strange calmness wash over me that I had never felt before.

I cannot wait to spend this day with you.
I think he's reaching the status of me naming the poems after him.
I feel so calm and happy, but also excited as well.

250 · Jul 2015

1:52am

R Jul 2015

1:52am

you just keep hurting me every chance you get,
i wonder...have you even realized it yet?

ugh everything hurts

250 · Nov 2014

About a girl

R Nov 2014

About a girl

Maybe if you'd stop
Opening up your legs and instead
Open up your eyes,
You'd be able to see the
Love that surrounds you
With open arms.

For my old friend... Happy Tuesday!
I actually said this outloud... Luckily no one heard me except for a friend and the teacher.... Oops!

250 · May 2015

Love

R May 2015

Love

That's the scariest thing about love.
When it turns on you like that...
It truly is so frightening.
One day, the same reasons they fell for you
Become the same reasons they start to hate you.
From the way you laugh to the way
You step on their toes when you dance,
To the way you tell jokes.
Or maybe it's the way you wear lipstick,
Or the way your throat makes that noise
When you drink. gulp
I always had the loudest one.
But it's not fair, it's not fair at all.

You started getting annoyed with every single little thing in the last month and a half. That was one of the worst pains I've ever felt. Knowing you didn't love the same things you fell for me for.

249 · Jul 2015

2:18pm

R Jul 2015

2:18pm

I'd go to the edge of the universe if it meant that I would be able to show you just how beautiful you absolutely are.

"I know you would"

249 · Dec 2015

Power and Control

R Dec 2015

Power and Control