my heart and head keep screaming at me.
no amount of medicine will help me sleep nor
drown out this noise called
heartbreak.

i just wish to remember how to touch a pencil on the paper again without wincing in pain from the horrid memories that always seem to surface when i try to draw.

no point in dreaming about the past
i have quite the future ahead of me

Here in some stranger's room,
Late in the afternoon,
What am I doing here at all?
Ain't no doubt about it,
I'm losing you,

Somehow the wires have crossed,
Communication's lost,
Can't even get you on the telephone,
Just got to shout about it,
I'm losing you,

Here in the valley of indecision,
I don't know what to do,
I feel you sliping away,
I feel you sliping away,
I'm losing you,
I'm losing you,

You say your not getting enough,
But I remind you of all that bad stuff,
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
Just put a bandaid on it?
And stop the bleeding now,
Stop the bleeding now,

I know I hurt you then,
But that was way back when,
And well, do you still have to carrey that cross?
Don't want to hear about it,
I'm losing you,
I'm losing you.

i sing because it's the only way i may get someone to truly hear my voice

you say you want us to be together but
I just say I want another hit.

"salvation and damnation are the same thing."

it is important to let the person whom you
wish to give your affection to know that
they are the one you dream about at night and
only wish to show your desires to.
the way I communicate is through my body,
for all of my touches and the sway if my hips mean
more than your mind could ever imagine.
if you think about it, you'll realize that
the smoothness of my fingertips as they
caress your bare chest means that I
want to feel what your gorgeous heartbeat
has to say to me whenever I touch you.
you must know what my kisses mean by now,
for you blush every time I give you one.
and my eyes? while they may not physically touch you,
they do their best to connect with each and every part of you,
including your mind. they wish to let every single crevice of you know
that I am here, and that I wish to feel you in ways you could never
imagine.

I know I have a way with words, but
sometimes it's just best to leave it up to my body and touches to
show you the rest.

i am so glad that he doesn't understand, for i'd give anything to not want to die all of the time.

i wonder if the only thing worth missing about me are memories?

i'd love to die but
i'd also just love to be loved.
guess i'll wait a little while longer
for things to get better.

i wonder if my heart will ever heal.
will these heartstrings come back or
is it too last to ask?

When a good thing goes bad it's not the end of the world
It's just the end of a world, that you had with one girl
And she's the reason it happened, but she's overreacting
And it's all because she don't want things to change

So cry if you need to, but I can't stay to watch you
That's the wrong thing to do
Touch if you need to, but I can't stay to hold you
That's the wrong thing to do
Talk if you need to, but I can't stay to hear you
That's the wrong thing to do
Cause you'll say you love me, and I'll end up lying
And say I love you too

But I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
Something's been missing
You know it, oh **, she knows it
Oh **, I know it, we all know it
I need someone different (oh **, oh **)

We live in a generation of, not being in love, and not being together
But we sure make it feel like we're together
Cause we're scared to see each other with somebody else

But I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
I need someone different
You know it, oh **, you know it
Oh **, you know it, we both know it
Something's been missing
You know it, oh **, she knows it
Oh **, I know it, we all know it
I need someone different

and here i am
back again
thinking of his hands.
a rush,
a shiver,
i know what this means.
i only take what i can
stand.

his tongue moves
in ways,
a bend.
i can feel him in my
bones.

its been hours
and I'm still here
wondering if he is my
home.

it didn't feel the same

rows of strawberries are bleeding like my heart
nothing seems very real since we're apart

I pulled out your chair and you thanked me
with your nice brown eyes and your pearly white smile.
You sat down in your pretty pink sundress and
you made me melt with your stories and your voice.
Nobody knew it was a date,
I simply told my parents that
you and I just wanted some coffee.
But God, the way you held my hand
made me feel something I haven't felt in a long while:
Safe and secure.

how many seas will i have to sail till i feel at home again?

and there's a lot of things you'll never know about this summer, but i guess its best to keep it that way. no need to dig my hole any deeper, right?

i think the worst thing about being suicidal is that
even when you're at your happiest,
the thought of jumping in front of a train
gives you a sort of excitement that you
haven't felt in such a long time.

I'm content with being alone...

Maybe because I know it won't be forever.

how many times will i have to tell you that you can't have it both ways?

i sit here on the                                          edge
of my bed and i watch you
as you watch the
rain f
         a
           l
            l
outside of my window.
when all of this rain clears up,
will you then shed a tear or two for me, my dear?
won't this last or will we be thrown into the depths of the sea?
i do not wish to get lost in the ocean of being "just friends".
I'm just wondering how many lullabies will be sung until you
dream of me again?

you've broken another promise,
but i guess it wasn't important enough to keep it
once again.
guess i wasn't important enough,
huh?

you are my sweet pea
ha, get it?
i think you do,
because you always seem to
get everything.

whatever belief i had in love is gone.
so really, thank you for showing me the light.
true love is a myth.
and so is everything else that was "good"
in this world.

i think it's time to say goodbye.

i don't think it's a coincidence anymore.
the universe is rarely so lazy.

"you're seeing what you want to see"
"no, i'm seeing what's in front of me"

if i'm alive one more day i'll be able to see the people who make life worth living

hands around my neck
I'm dead, wait...I'm still here and
alas, they're my own.

you just keep hurting me every chance you get,
i wonder...have you even realized it yet?

i associated you with the colors of the earth,
but all you are is the color of a blackhole.

i thought you were filled with light,
but i guess i was wrong.

you're just a dark hole that
***** all the light from
everything and everyone else
until its all gone inside of
you.

won't you ever learn?
killing others won't
make you able to
breathe any
easier.

it'll just make more space,
until you're left all alone
with the memories of the
people's lights you've
stolen.

i'm glad you got what you wanted.
god only knows when i will again.

where do you go when those colors and that safe place isn't
there anymore?

it's a number.
it's a date.
it's a girl.

enchanting.
wonderfully made,
exquisite.

salmon and sushi,
root beer floats,
touched by an angel.

it's 2 in the morning.
phone calls with
laughter.

it's eyes that follow.
lips that caress.
tears that
stream.

maybe love.
we're lucky,
aren't we?

something says
goodbye.
it isn't
me.

you feel like that one place in the woods that you can just be yourself in, the one place that you can just stay in forever and never get tired of because you can see everything so clearly and you can breathe better?
those colors, the beautifully deep earth tones...the sweet chocolate browns and the bright mustard yellows of the leaves and the enchanting greens of the trees surrounding me amidst the openness of the forest.
that is you, this is who you are to me.

i cannot think of
a forever where i am
always put down, luv.

You said in a drug induced haze, "how many times do I have to say I love you for you to believe me?" and I said, "never." because I do not think I'll ever believe anyone anymore when they say that they do. Too many promises are attached to a simple "I love you" and I know nobody can keep them anymore.

you say you love me through drunken dialed phone calls at 5 in the morning and I can't say it back. I just don't want to give you something that I know I lack. If I had the love you deserved then maybe I'd be the one for you. But I am crimson and you are green and together we create a different hue.

when you kissed me it was like i could breathe a bit easier again

my heart aches for the pieces it has lost but
i simply cannot allow them to come back.
i still wouldn't be the same girl from
before even if they did.