When I awake
Early on a winter’s morning
I creep about my house
Straining to soften the creak of the floorboards
Determined not to wake the others

My dazed heads snuffles
As I potter from toilet to bathroom
Bathroom to kitchen

And then
I am taken by surprise
As I catch a glimpse
Of pink, purple, orange, blue and grey,
The golden outline of the new sun's edge
Through my window

And I stand there
Still
In my dressing gown and slippers
A silent witness
Heart swelling with joy
At this precious moment
When I am alone
With this unique sunrise

I, alone
Claim this beauty
As my own

This is my time
My precious alone time
When I am most me

Wondering like 'the mole'
At the impossible beauty of it all

I remember the scarlet taste
from biting my lips.
I remember the salty water,
that my eyes had dripped.
I remember the silent screams,
that had rang in my head.
But most of all, I remember
all those desperate words I never said.