anything is
anything can
be
a poem
if you
will it
there are
no rules
in poetry
at least
not in
my
poetry

love is a beast
who has been swallowing us whole
biting down on the most fragile parts of our hearts
tonight i’m sad
saddened by the fact that
she can’t go on anymore because her heart is tied down to the train tracks waiting for her lover
to obliterate everything she ever had
love is a beast

depression is a monster
like the chameleon in Monsters Inc?
you think it’s gone when really it just went into hiding for a while
and sometimes
you just can’t fight anymore
your bones are weak so you let him have you
depression is a monster

anxiety is quicksand
and i’m tired of trying to stand upright in it
you get ****** in faster trying to get out
Hopeless
we’re all hopeless
anxiety is quicksand
depression is a monster
and love is a beast i can’t seem to tame

tonight
the world is a place i’m not sure i want to live in anymore
so i’ll make my own and
live there forever
don’t worry, though
i’ll be okay
they know me here
i’ll be okay

voices echo
laughter booms
on the screen
pictures flicker
everyone's smiling
we're all anxious
and excited
it still doesn't
seem real

My soul is weary yet I still march on
I'm the tearstained pages of my favorite book
I'm the gentle whispers in the morning that remind you
Today you are alive
I'm the calluses on the bottoms of my feet from running on hot pavement and gravel in the summer
I'm the pen that wrote the words that make my heart ache
I'm not done here
The calluses on my feet weren't always there
It used to burn when I walked outside
But nothing felt so good as the mix of sand and concrete beneath my feet so I ran and became stronger
Immune to the heat
I'm battered and worn but the best books are
I will march on
And I will become
Everything I haven't yet

Let's take a walk down memory lane
It won't be scary but perhaps a little sad
So I'll hold your hand til the end
Keep your eyes wide open
See, look there
Their faces are bright with laughter from night they vowed to see the sunrise
Their happiness is contagious
Can you catch it?
Their laughter lights me up
Can you hear the good times?
They're living the life
Now walk a little this way
Please
Let me cover your eyes
I'm hoping you don't remember
the night we cried as one
No don't look there
stop tracing my scars
You remember when I told you
Now I'm begging you to forget
Let's go a little farther, over here where the smiles beam
Remember just three nights ago when we promised it would always be just you and me?
You held me close and showed me Love
I love Love
I held it in my hands and it felt like a butterfly preparing for flight
I let it flutter away knowing it might not come back
Come here, now
We've reached our destination
Open your hand
I have something to give you
Be careful,
It's delicate
Watch it closely
For you never know when it might fly away

i don’t know how someone as small as me
with bones that break at the sight of heat lightning
and heart strings that thread apart at the sound of his voice
could make anyone feel like the sun shines brighter
through kaleidoscope eyes—
you’re okay if it brings out the freckles on your face,
and you feel good, you feel alive
you say i showed you how to love in a new way,
that i taught you to be so much more okay with your tummy,
“it’s been very freeing and life is a lot better, thank you,”
but i feel like i can’t say you’re welcome
because i am a messy cliché of imperfect scraps and hypocrisy
loosely sewn together with
“you are strong you are strong you are strong,”
but i feel so weak i feel so weak i feel so weak
and i am not steady hands, they shake like
wet dogs after kiddy pool baths,
i am flower seeds that forgot how to bloom,
trapped below the surface of a garden that feels like quicksand
and i’m sorry but you don’t see all the mistakes i make,
all the words i’ve preached that look back at me
and laugh when they see
what i feel, what i think, who i am behind closed doors,
i’m sorry.
you keep hanging medals around my neck, and
they’re so heavy, and i don’t know
what to say besides i love you
when you speak words of adoration,
but please do not praise me, i am not good.

I'm happy for you, okay?
But don't expect me to keep acting like my old self when you haven't been acting like your old self
You keep talking to me because you know I won't ever stop supporting you
Friends are friends and I'll be there til the end
But my patience is wearing thin and one day I won't be here anymore
You keep talking to me as if you didn't freeze me out for the last 8 months
When someone hurts me, I don't talk to them
That girl you "dated"?
She hurt me
Betrayed me and stabbed me in the back with that fake smile of hers and know-it-all aura.
You let her manipulate your mind and honestly, I thought you were better than that
I must've been pretty foolish to think a thought that was so far from the truth
You're still just a boy and I could tell
You had some figuring out to do
Our conversations became short and curt
I used to be able to tell you anything
Now you're back but you're definitely not the same Max I knew
I know, I know it's so cliche to say
I notice things
I don't let people mess with my mind and get away with it
So for you to waltz back in with your dyed hair and nose turned up in the air
Is not fair
I see past your "oh so f-ing tough" exterior
You tell me how bad it is like I don't already know
You "live life on the edge" and I'll give you that
But you do NOT tell me I don't know how hard it is
You're the little brother I never had and I hate watching what's become of you
I'm watching a train wreck
And the Train is our friendship
I wonder if you remember how close we used to be
The pictures you sent me of your little sister
The poems I sent you that you pretended to read
I wonder if you remember Skyping with me just so you could show me the snow in New York when it was 80 degrees in AZ
I wonder if you remember...
We all grow up at some point in our lives
Some, sooner than others
You can't hold a conversation for longer than five minutes
So why should I?
Because friends are friends until the end of time
And I used to think that was true
But the clock stopped ticking and
Our time is up
And even though I'd love so much just to be able to scrape the imprint you left on my heart right off
I know
You were more than a few sentences in my book that I won't ever be able to erase
Even though I was just a word in yours