Are you mine
Or just mine tonight?
I can't help but wonder
How long this will last
How this will end
But maybe it won't.
It will probably end
the way everything else ends for me
in blood, tears and sleepless nights.

What if it cost money to say,
                                                 "I love you"
Would you have said it
                                                      So soon?
Would you have said it
                                                     So often?
Would you have said it
                                                          At all?

Lost
Feeling lost in the depths of your mind
Can't find a way out of the maze
In a haze and dazed
People say
"She's just going through a phase"
But it's deep
In your soul
You can't sleep or eat
You don't wanna exist anymore
Until you find a way to pick yourself up off the floor
Sometimes it's a friend,
Bended down on one knee
Saying
"Get up now, time to follow my lead"
It's hard to believe,
You don't even wanna try
But a lovers smile
Or a friends embrace...
Sometimes that's all it takes
Just tell yourself
"I'm not living on the ground anymore"
Get off the floor,  
It's gonna be better than before
Find what needs to be found
Turn your life around
There's people worth living for
I promise...  
"There's happiness out there"
You just gotta believe
Come on now
Follow my lead
I'll help you get where you're going
I'm here, bended on one knee
"Take my hand, I'll guide you through"
I'm here to help you
This is time for discovery,
Believe in me
It's never too late for recovery
"Just follow me back to reality*"

my phone just died
right in the middle
of our conversation
I was sitting on a
friends' kitchen floor
with a purple blanket
wrapped around me
keeping me warm and safe
from falling into your words
and you said you loved me
and I didn't know how to reply
but after a minute of silence
I whispered
"I miss you"
but you never heard
because my phone died
and saved me from
making a fool out of myself
fur telling you the truth.

do you know the feeling
when people do not believe you?
they do not believe you could ever be
so sad
that you wanted to die
and they laugh in your face
and blame you
and tell you to stop being so dramatic?
well, i'm not being dramatic.
i just want to disappear off the face of the earth
and have no memories remain.
so that my mother would never mourn the daughter she longed for
and my brothers would learn to protect their daughters when the time comes and not a second earlier
and my sisters wouldn't have had to grow up so quickly to raise me
and you would not be in love with someone as careless as me.