Savannah Jane

Savannah Jane Jul 2014

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i may not be who you will marry
i may not be the perfect girl
but years from now
you will remember
the girl you kissed on the roof
who you wrote love letters for
and you'll remember the way
i always bit your lip
or laughed when we kissed
you'll remember the thread
i wore on my ankle
or the toe ring i wore on my right foot
you'll remember the way
i would watch you fall asleep
because it was beautiful
to me.
you will remember this
for no particular reason
maybe you just wanted a trip down memory lane
and maybe you'll regret the trip
and maybe you'll regret letting
me go
when i tried too hard to keep you.

#love #memory #done #lettinggo #missingyou #overit

Savannah Jane Jul 2014

hospital.

sitting on the window sill
watching as you lay
trying to be strong for all of us
my sister
leaving the room
because she could not handle the undeniable truth
that sometime soon
you will be gone
because you do not want the help being offered
because you do not want to watch us all
"being there for you"
when really we're there
for us
so we can right our wrongs.
but i have no wrongs with you,
so i sit
and listen as everyone
tells me how strong i am
to watch my grandfather die
and not shed a single tear.

#death #hospital

Savannah Jane Jul 2014

know you

the first time i saw you

i recognized you

although i'd never met you before.
i'd never seen you before that moment

yet i'd felt i'd met you somewhere.
maybe it was like something my mother always talked about

maybe we'd known each other in a

past life

been lovers?

married?

friends?

siblings?

long lost love?
some long, sad and dramatic story
that had meant everything to us
and maybe i'm sounding crazy

by saying all of this

but i just

know you from somewhere.

#reincarnation

Savannah Jane Jul 2014

love poem

you might wonder why

i never write poetry

about you.

maybe you don't.

but i'll tell you anyways.

i can only explain pain,

my own stories of suffering.

you make me happy and i can't explain that.

i can't explain how i get butterflies when you grab my hand

or kiss me

or when you put your hand in my hair while you're kissing me.

i can't explain why you make me smile so much.

you do something idiotic and it's adorable to me.

i can't explain why i trusted you so quickly,

i feel pretty stupid for doing it

but i don't regret it.

you make me happy

and i just can't explain that.

Savannah Jane Jul 2014

sweet revenge

I wonder how it will feel to get my sweet revenge,

to make you feel as horrible as i felt all those nights.

to make you suffer

in physical

and mental pain

the way I did for nine months.

To make you feel so ******* happy

only to have it all taken away

by someone who 'loved' you.

But, I still can't bring myself to do any of this.

The best I can do,

is be happier with someone else.

This is as close as I come to

sweet revenge.

Savannah Jane Jul 2014

final warning

every day, i warned you

about me.

about how I'd fight with you

how I'd keep quiet when i hurt

how I'd lose myself and hide.

but you never warned me about you.

about how you'd hurt me

in more ways than i could imagine.

how you could slap me in the face

and fight back

and blame everything on me

and leave me feeling empty and useless.

but you always had me crawling back, didn't you?

Savannah Jane Jul 2014

you lose

every night you'd leave me

and I'd feel useless and forgotten.

you wanted me for one thing and

you hadn't even gotten it in the end

so i guess i win

even though sometimes it feels a lot

more like i'm losing.