i am a liar.
i have lied.

Why do people lie?
protect, preserve
fear of judgement
for stupidity
what else could be so important..?

but how can you stop being a liar
and start being a truth bearer?

especially when everyone you lied to
is now so accustomed to you
and your golden tongue.

when can you truly tell them
that you are no longer that
for they will never believe you
fully in their armored minds...
so you have to ask, what's the point?

but really
the question is: who?

who can you stop for?
who can you think of
every time you are about to spin
the golden thread that
turns to ash over time?

you know who.
you stop for her.
and you stop for yourself.
and you stop for the two of you.
because losing her
was never worth the extravagant elegance
of white lies wrapped in silver cloth
or of the cheating nights and empty promises
it was never worth you having your vegan cake
and eating it too
and eating every heart you came into contact with
as if their innocent blood
fed your will to live and to thrive
for indeed, at one point, it did.

the innocence and the infatuation felt good
in multiple doses
sticking that rusty needle into your skin
caked in the sadness of many before
and your eyes wandering in euphoria
at the attention you felt you deserved.
flaunting your aura,
you were full of ****.

and she deserves more than your shell
of a woman you once were.

It's too late, darling.
The truth in you now is not worth your weight in gold.