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Philia Feb 2019
& Tonight
I kneel down
& pray
& cry
hard.

For everything is not in my favor.
For everything seems didn’t work out.
For everything is useless.

I’m just tired, you know..
Trying & failed
I’m just too tired
& I didn’t want to live this way.

who are you
I asked myself;
As I didn’t recognise myself,
Anymore.
Philia Feb 2019
I blew dandelions;
In a meadow here we are.
In love.

What else I could wish for?

I blew dandelions;
Without saying any wishes,

Call me naïve,
But if I had you,

what else I could wish for?
Philia Feb 2019
She said,
she loves stargazing.
she spends hours to look at the sky.
& talking,
& contemplating.
She loves night sky,
where only she, the moon & the stars blink.

But doesn't she realise that,

The Sun is also a star?
Philia Feb 2019
you are so underrated.

It's all my mistake for not making you my inspiration to write.
It's all me, who holds back and keep all those little confessions for my thought.

you are so underrated.

For you were my muse, long before we started all these.
& I'm sorry for neglecting all the poetry,
that were meant for you..

Holding all the words,
Just because I'm just too afraid to write again.

you are so underrated.*

Despite the fact
you are everything that what I need.

I never make things so easy for you.
Yet, you are still here.
& making it seems so easy to love me.

It needs me almost a year for me to finally say;
"I love you" back to you
Yet, in the moment when I remain silent,
you will still say "I love you" to me.

I'm a cynic.
Yet, you still hug me
& laugh at my saltiness.

you take me as I am.

It takes you a year before I finally stood up,
& kiss you.

Yet, you still want me the same, consistently,
everyday.
Philia Dec 2018
I want to wake up in Singapore.
Open my window and feeling the hot Sun on my face.
Thank God it's a clear blue sky. No haze, no anything.
Just a really hot Sunny day.
I order dumplings, char keow teow and teh peng in one of the hawker place.
What a pleasant breakfast before I walk into a local coffee shop to sip a glass of iced Caramel Macchiato.

I want to spend an afternoon in Volendam.
Feeling the ocean breeze & the Sun on my face.
I want to eat fresh Seafood platter & a bottle of beer for my lunch.
& walk around the local shops & buy cute souvenirs.
I will take a break and sitting by the deck. In quiet.
Even everyone around me is pretty loud.
I think I will live here when I get old.

I want to spend an Evening in Rome.
Just walk out from the Vatican, and now I'm in Rome.
I want to ride my bike to the wondrous Fontana di Trevi
I will get there before the Sun in down so I have the chance to take photos before everything gets dark.
I'm not going to throw pennies on it. No.
I will only see the magical statue & lick my Gelato over here.

I want to spend a night in Paris.
It never be my first love,
but when I step my foot for the second time,
seeing all these beauties, I fall in love.
I fall in love with their arrogance & their ignorance.
It would be a cold night, with a little bit of drizzle.
It's what they always said right?
Rainy midnight in Paris is always magical.
I will get a nice dinner near the Eiffel Tower,
leaving myself in awe,
sipping my red wine,
before I finally walk to the Icon of Paris.
Maybe I will take a boat tour, maybe I just will spend a night at one of the parks, looking at the Tower.
Before finally, I walk to one of their antique yet beautiful shophouses.
& call it a night for today.
Philia Nov 2018
Shoot your gun on 05.40,
then it will says:
"Happy 1/4 of Century"
to you.

Open the book,
& I wrote "Serenity Prayer" to you.
Godspeed, man!
take it as your guidance, as your life shelter.
as God will always be with you.

Big balloons of 25 will be waiting for you in your room,
while your Mom talks to you,
I will inflate it,
pick up your Strawberry Cheesecake &
your gift.

Nothing special really,
I give you customised embroidery art of
"Aquila" Constellation.
& Dylan Blue, as you want me to pick up a perfume for you.
So, Versace it is.

I never really thought,
there would be another project.
But pardon me & my brain, they keep rambling about ideas
& I cannot stop myself from doing all of these things.

This is not just for you.
but also, this one is really for me.

XOXO,
Philia Oct 2018
But then,
I always come up with an idea
That love
Is never worth to write about.
Love
Is all that destroys you
Love
Is all that drains you

All the pain
& the bitterness
is always because of
Love.
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